Question: My fiancee has recently been experiencing multiple orgasms when masturbating. She doesn’t know what triggers it, but we’d like to find out because she finds it pleasurable.
Again and Again
Although some women rarely or never experience orgasm, most women are capable of experiencing orgasm – even multiple orgasm. That’s because women don’t have a refractory period like men do, which is the time between one ejaculation and their ability to have another ejaculation.
Keep On Keeping On
We don’t fully understand why some women experience multiple orgasms and others do not. In part, it may have to do with expectations about sex and orgasm. After all, even one orgasm is difficult for some women to experience, so some women may be happy with one orgasm and may not even try to have a second orgasm after their first.
Other times, women who orgasm during sex with a partner may find that their partner doesn’t continue with sexual stimulation – such as intercourse or oral sex – and so they may not have multiple orgasms because their partner stops stimulating them.
Partners may stop stimulation because they are tired or because, in the case of vaginal intercourse, they ejaculate more quickly than they might like to. It can therefore be easier, for some women, to have multiple orgasms during self-masturbation.
Experiencing the Love Together
If your fiancée is capable of multiple orgasms during masturbation, she may be capable of experiencing them with you as well, such as during oral sex, intercourse or partnered masturbation. It may be easier for her to orgasm with you, once or multiple times, if she feels relaxed, if she doesn’t feel pressured to orgasm, and if she feels highly aroused.
Some women find that they feel more aroused if they fantasize, use dirty talk, feel more connected to their partner, role play, dress up or have sex with lights on or off, depending on their preferences. She may find that certain types of stimulation, such as a slow build up with finger or vibrator stimulation, helps her to become highly aroused and thus more easily orgasmic.
To learn more about orgasms, multiple orgasms and sex toy play, check out Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.