Because a man’s pelvic muscles are linked to the power of his ejaculation, and his orgasms, it may be that pelvic floor muscle exercises, such as Kegel exercises, can help to improve the thrust of a man’s ejaculate – to help him squirt more than drip.
Some women find that they may masturbate for 30 minutes or an hour or longer, quite a few times, before they experience a release of sexual tension in what feels like an orgasm to them. Other women prefer to use a vibrator to help learn to orgasm, as vibrators can often make it easier to learn to orgasm.
Some men report having noticed a lack of pleasure or orgasm after they start taking medications, such as certain antidepressants or other medications. Sometimes this side effect of a lack of pleasure or orgasm can persist for a long time even after they stop taking the medication.
Sometimes couples engage in power struggles without talking about it. People may withhold sex from one another as punishment or perhaps they may give in to sex, but act as if they’re not enjoying it as a way of getting back at their partner.
Women’s experiences of pleasure and orgasm often change throughout life, in response to pregnancy, birth, health conditions, menopause, stress, and aging. Learning to talk about sexuality and how to make sex feel better for both of you will better situate you both for a lifetime of sexual enjoyment and exploration.
Self-pleasuring and exploring both genital and non-genital parts of the body can be important experiences to try as you take steps toward becoming more comfortable with your body, with sexual touch and with opening yourself to pleasure.
We don’t fully understand why some women experience multiple orgasms and others do not. In part, it may have to do with expectations about sex and orgasm. After all, even one orgasm is difficult for some women to experience, so some women may be happy with one orgasm and may not even try to have a second orgasm after their first.
Although physical stimulation is a common part of the orgasm picture, it isn’t everything. Even the most pleasurable forms of touch don’t always lead to orgasm unless a person is feeling psychologically stimulated or aroused, or concentrating on sexual ideas or thoughts, as well.
Because the genitals are kept in a warm, moist area, under clothing, and can be exposed to urine and fecal matter, they sometimes require special care so that cuts, tears or chafing heal well and the potential for pleasurable sensitivity returns.
The clitoris extends backward into the body in two branches that may be stimulated from vaginal sex or other types of stimulation. This knowledge alone may give you different ideas for how to approach your body with ideas for stimulation.
A woman may become pregnant whether or not she lubricates or has an orgasm during sex. Your level of sexual excitement has nothing to do with your ability to become pregnant – unless you’re avoiding sex because it’s not exciting.
The experience of sexual pleasure can also tap into people’s brain chemistry in ways that, as scientists, we don’t fully understand yet. For example, I have heard, from several people who describe sadness associated with sex for reasons they don’t understand.
Although a face-down style of masturbation that involves rubbing against the bed appears to be less common than a style that involves a man laying on his back or sitting up, that doesn’t mean that face-down masturbation will cause sexual problems.
There’s something about the power of vibrating products that can make it easier for many women to orgasm. We don’t fully understand why vibrators are so effective at easing some women’s orgasms, but they can be.