young men often get erections for no particular reason and sometimes during times when they wish they wouldn’t. As they grow older and begin being sexual with a partner, they may have the experience of not always getting erections when they want one, even if they feel sexually excited.
Researchers have found that even mild depression can interfere with men’s and women’s sexual experiences. Depression can contribute to problems with desire, erections and ease of orgasm. When people feel depressed, they may more easily allow distracting thoughts to get in the way of their arousal, which can contribute to erectile problems.
When men are younger, such as in their teens and twenties, they are often able to get an erection that is firm enough for intercourse even minutes after they have sex. On occasion, they may not even become soft again after they first ejaculate – they may maintain some level of hardness for several minutes or longer and continue having sex.
Some men find it very difficult to get or maintain an erection with partners who they do not know very well. Often they find that they cannot “make” themselves have an erection just because they want one.
Men often go to great lengths to hide the fact that they have an erection in social situations. They may try to adjust their pants, hold things like a book or a newspaper in front of their crotch area, or try to think distracting thoughts in the hopes that such thoughts will dampen their erection.
My partner loses his erection every time we try to have sex. This has happened 6 times. I’ve tried putting it on myself and shortening foreplay but neither has worked. He’s fine right until the point the condom is put on.