Premature or Rapid Ejaculation
Ejaculating quickly, before you want to, is pretty common among young men, The duration of intercourse and other sexual activity can change as a guy ages and has more sexual experience. Here are the two common techniques you can use to train yourself to extend your sexual encounters:
- THE STOP-START TECHNIQUE: stop your caresses at a stage just short of the point of no return and allow your arousal level to subside slightly (say for half-a-minute) and then return to being caressed and repeat the process of stopping when you feel yourself near the point of inevitable ejaculation again. The difficulty at first is knowing when to stop, but with practice (on your own or with a partner), you can teach yourself a high degree of ejaculatory control.
- THE SQUEEZE TECHNIQUE: just before the point of no return you stop stimulation of the penis, and grasp the tip of the penis between fingers and thumb and squeeze firmly for 10 seconds or so. This reduces the reflex ejaculation response (and possibly the erection too) in the same way that biting your lip stops a sneeze. You can then resume stimulation and repeat the process if necessary.
You can read more about these techniques in the book “PE: How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation” by Helen Singer Kaplan.
Certain anti-depressants may mute sexual excitement, giving some added control. Your healthcare provider can talk with you about whether these prescription medications are a good option for you.
Condoms can also help many men last longer.
While for some men just the barrier of the condom can lead to longer lasting sex, condom manufacturers have created desensitizing condoms (also sometimes called “climax control condoms”). Such condoms have a numbing agent inside of them (usually benzocaine) which is intended to decrease sensation to the penis, and thus help men delay ejaculation.
Some men have skin reactions (itching, rashes, etc) to benzocaine or lidocaine – and a small percentage of men may lose their erection (after all, it is reducing sensation a little bit). Similarly, mentholated or cooling lubricant may also help prolong ejaculation, while warming lube or condoms often increase sensation and blood flow, speeding things up.
If you want to try these out, you might want to do so during masturbation to see what it will feel like for you. And be sure to use a condom to avoid vaginal or anal irritation.
Inability to get an erection is more common in older men, but it certainly happens among younger men, as well. About half of all erectile dysfunctions are “organic,” meaning they’re caused by some physical problem. These physical problems can be anything that affects blood flow. So your first step is to go to the doctor and get checked out healthwise.
Another cause of ED is anxiety – either about sexual performance or just general life anxiety. The best solution is to learn anxiety reduction techniques with the help of a therapist.
Alcohol and amphetimines (such as Adderol) may reduce erectile function, temporarily.
Erectile drugs, such as Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis, can help strengthen light erections. They do not directly cause arousal.
There are men who find that sexual activity persists and they can’t seem to reach a climax, either with a partner or through masturbation. This could be a side effect of some medications, such as anti-depressants, but most frequently, delayed ejaculation has a psychological component. Skilled sex therapists may be helpful in treating this problem.
Lack of Desire
Though more often noted as an issue for women, men, too, can lose interest in sex at various times and situations, or feel that they lack sexual desire. Emotional states, notably depression, can be a factor in lack of libido, as can conflict and stress. (see above)