February 26, 2009

Q&A: Multiple Orgasms In Women – Developed Or Natural Ability?

A male reader wonders if his girlfriend was born with the ability to have multiple orgasms or if someone could develop this ability.

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Question: My girlfriend is amazing. She can have 10-12 orgasms is one hour’s worth of sex. She says it’s always been this way for her. Is there some way to develop this ability? Or are some people just born lucky?

Although it is uncommon for women to experience many orgasms in a row, some women do have the experience of having orgasms with ease and with a higher than average frequency.

Ease of Orgasm For Women

Women’s ease of orgasm may be influenced by a number of factors including feeling relaxed, open to pleasure, unafraid to let go, and able to focus on the physical or emotional sensations that enhance your arousal.

Ease of orgasm can be influenced by other factors, too. For example, some research suggests that women who feel comfortable about how their genitals look tend to find it easier to orgasm.

The type of sexual stimulation can also affect a woman’s orgasmic ability. For example, some women may find that they can easily have 5, 10 or more orgasms when they use a vibrator for sexual stimulation, but that they cannot have any orgasms, or only have one, from oral sex or vaginal penetration.

Recommended Reading

If you’re interested in exploring your orgasm abilities, there are two books that you might find helpful. The first is called Becoming Orgasmic and the second is titled For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality.

Although both books are directed toward women who are trying to learn to orgasm at all – in other words, to have their first orgasm – women who would like to learn to change their experience of orgasm in other ways may benefit from reading these books, too.

That’s because these books offer many suggestions related to becoming comfortable with one’s body, addressing memories of trauma or abuse, enhancing arousal, and learning to cue one’s desire in ways that can help to make orgasm easier. Although both books have a heterosexual focus, many of the exercises are easily applied to women in relationships with other women, too.

Finally, although you may hear stories about how hard it is for many to orgasm once, let alone multiple times, let me reassure you that although that’s true, it doesn’t mean that your goal isn’t worth considering.

After all, whether or not you ever have as many orgasms as your girlfriend does, you may find that it is quite possible for you to enhance your experiences of pleasure, connection, intimacy and orgasm in ways that you will find fun, exciting or meaningful.