Question: My former girlfriend experienced female ejaculation two times during our three year relationship – once during oral sex and another time during intercourse. I always thought this was something a woman either displays all the time or not at all. Is it normal to be so infrequent?
Sex researchers still have a long way to go toward solving the mysteries of female ejaculation. In fact, we aren’t even in complete agreement as to what to call it. Some researchers use the term “female ejaculation” with ease as a way to describe fluids that are emitted from a woman’s urethra during sexual excitement or orgasm.
Other researchers are not comfortable with the term “female ejaculation” and may point out that the fluid is not similar to men’s ejaculate, and thus the comparison is not warranted.
The jury is still out, too, on what exactly these fluids may be. Some chemical analyses suggest that the fluids are distinct from urine whereas other research suggests some similarities with urine, which may not be surprising given that the fluid does come out of a woman’s urethra just like a man’s semen comes out of his urethra.
Not All or Nothing
So while we still have much to learn in terms of what these fluids are composed of, chemically speaking, and what to call them, we do know that they are not an all or nothing experience. That is to say that the fact that your girlfriend experienced a female ejaculation-like event two times during your three years together is not unheard of.
Some women say that they experience it regularly, others notice it sporadically – every now and then – and still others have never noticed a spurt of fluids coming from their urethra during sexual activity or orgasm.
In other words, this is not something that is under most women’s control – though some certainly wish it were. Like other aspects of sexuality, female ejaculation is enjoyed and relished by some women and their partners while others feel neutral or even negative about it. Some find that it greatly contributes to their arousal and others can take it or leave it, or are perhaps curious about the experience.
To learn more about female ejaculation, check out The G Spot: And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality.