Question: Every time I masturbate, which is once a week, I think I pee. I have a large amount of fluid come out of me that smells like pee. Now I know that this is not normal and I would like to know what I should do about it. I do not feel very comfortable talking to anyone about my problem, so if there is a solution that doesn’t involve talking to someone about it I would greatly appreciate it. Please help!
Although you may feel that your experience of emitting a good deal of fluid (that, to you, smells like pee) during self-masturbation may feel ‘not normal’, it is actually completely within the range of women’s sexual experiences.
It’s true that people may not talk very openly about this phenomenon, but then again our culture is oddly silent about a lot of things related to sexuality. And unfortunately, being silent about sex often makes people feel alone, unusual or otherwise “not normal”.
Some sex researchers and educators refer to these fluids as ‘female ejaculation’; others prefer not to use this term, since the fluids emitted from a woman’s urethra during sexual excitement are not chemically the same as male ejaculate (semen).
When this post was originally written, we said “In fact, it is not entirely clear what these fluids are – chemical analyses have produced variable results. That said, they do not appear to be chemically the same as urine. In other words, it is extremely unlikely that you are peeing during sex.” Since publication in January 2007, newer research has come out. It’s now more common for scientists who stud this phenomenon to distinguish between “female ejaculation” (which appears to be smaller amounts of fluids, distinct from urine – as one of the primary researchers in this area described it to me) and “squirting” (a term sometimes used to describe the release of larger amounts of fluids, which research suggests are essentially highly diluted urine.
Now, that’s not to say that either of these fluids don’t share some of the same properties as urine (perhaps hence a similar odor, although many things – including genital sweat – can share a somewhat similar odor). After all, the fluids are likely coming from your urethra, which is the same tube that carries urine out of the body. Consequently, there may be some overlap.
That is true for men, though, too: the urethra carries both urine and ejaculate out of the body and, as ejaculate is emitted from the penis, it may pick up some urine ‘residue’ on its way out. But men (like women) typically do not “pee” during sex (though for men, this is controlled by what’s called the bladder valve, which prevents the bladder from letting urine into the urethra).
If you still feel that you are peeing during sex, and this worries you, consider talking with your healthcare provider about your concerns – especially if you notice yourself releasing urine at other times throughout the day, such as when you cough, laugh, or sneeze.
Although the varying degrees of wetness that women experience during sex are not openly discussed everywhere, there is an episode of Sex and the City (in Season 4) that mentioned this phenomenon, so it’s not completely absent from popular culture. It’s also a common occurrence in porn.
You can read more detailed information in The G Spot: And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality and The Good Vibrations Guide: The G Spot. Although stimulation of the area sometimes called the g spot (an area on the front wall of the vagina, about 1-2 inches inside) is often associated with some degree of noticeable wetness, it is not always the case.
One thing that may interest you about reading these books is how women and their partners respond to the wetness – some are not thrilled with it, but learn to deal with their body’s sexual response. Other women and their partners are enormously excited and aroused by the wetness.
In fact, just as we get questions from women like you who may feel a little surprised or unsettled by their body’s response, we also get many questions from women who have heard about this phenomenon or seen it in sexually explicit DVDs and want to know how they can learn to do it.
In other words, what comes naturally to you is something that some women very much wish they could learn to do. That’s not to say that you should learn to love it or have different feelings about it; that’s just to provide another perspective.
Again, if you are still convinced or concerned that you are peeing during sex (or other times of the day or night), please consider checking in with your healthcare provider for information and a check-up. Gynecological healthcare is important for all sexually active or adult women. I hope this is helpful.
Reviewed and updated with newer research on May 2, 2017.