Question: For the past few years, I have experienced painful tearing at the entrance to my vagina. It happens every time we have intercourse, no matter how slow or gentle we are. The only suggestion my doctor has is to use lubricant. We could use a whole bottle and this still happens. We think the main problem may be a genital size. Please help!
If you have been having sex with your partner for several years, but have only been experiencing small painful cuts or tears for the past few months, then I would be surprised if genital size is an issue. Unless, of course, your partner has suddenly grown in terms of his penis size, which is unlikely if he is about your age.
I would encourage you to check in with a different doctor, such as a dermatologist.
There are some genital skin conditions that make the genital skin more vulnerable to cuts and tears. One such condition is called lichen sclerosus. It is often marked by itching and by areas of hypopigmentation (basically, white spots of skin on the genitals) but not everyone has these symptoms.
Trying New Things
Other times, women are vulnerable to cuts and tears because they and their partner spend very little time in foreplay, resulting in low vaginal lubrication. However, if you’ve found that adding lubricant to your sex play doesn’t help, then that may not be the issue.
You might try having sex in the woman on top position so that you can control the penetration.
And before trying again, you might take several days – even as long as a week – off of sex to give your body time to heal. Perhaps your vaginal entrance has not had time to heal and so it keeps tearing again in the same place.
If you would like a second opinion, you can try to find a doctor who has particular expertise in the area of vulvovaginal health by contacting the International Society for the Study of Vulvovaginal Disease.
Next Question: I Don’t Enjoy Touching My Husband Or Giving Him Oral Sex
I don’t enjoy giving my husband oral sex, and he feels the same way. I’m not big on rubbing all over him, but I want him to rub and touch me. Is this normal?
Read Dr. Debby Herbenick’s response.
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