Question: I met a girl at a party and things got heated. I was in my boxers and she was naked. I never penetrated her and I didn’t ejaculate, but I noticed a little precum on my boxers. I made contact with it and later fingered her after wiping my hand off. I had not ejaculated in 4 days. Is there any risk of pregnancy involved here?
It would be extremely unlikely for there to be a risk of pregnancy, given your description of the situation.
As I understand it, you and another girl made out and removed pretty much all of each other’s clothes except for your boxers. You never put your penis inside of her vagina and you never ejaculated, although you did notice a little wetness on your boxer shorts, which was likely the fluids that we call pre-ejaculate (also called pre-cum).
In order for there to be a pregnancy risk, you would have had to get sperm near her vaginal entrance or inside of her vagina.
There are no sperm in pre-ejaculate, and you didn’t have contact with her vagina anyway, so as long as you did not ejaculate, there should be no risk of pregnancy.
Sperm in Hiding
Sometimes even when people learn that sperm are not in pre-ejaculatory fluids, they still feel worried about pregnancy risk. After all, if a man recently ejaculated and then soon after, got aroused, it is theoretically possible that if any sperm were left over in his urethra from his last ejaculate, then the pre-ejaculatory fluids could pick the sperm up and carry them through the urethra.
However, you said that you hadn’t ejaculated in 4 days, and given the number of times you likely urinated over the past 4 days, it is therefore unlikely that there were any sperm left hanging out inside your urethra that could have been carried away. You also didn’t put your naked penis near or in her vagina.
Prevention is Key
That said, the fact that you are worried about pregnancy is worth paying attention to. If you do not want to become a parent any time soon, then you may want to take steps toward to preventing pregnancy.
If you find yourself meeting people and hooking up with them, then you might want to carry two or three condoms with you when you go to parties, just in case you find yourself in a situation like this again.
If you would prefer not to find yourself in a situation like this with a girl you don’t know very well, you might think ahead of time of what you could say so that you don’t end up being naked or sexual together. If you want to meet people at parties and then go out with them some other time, but take it slow, consider how you can use these types of situations to meet people, get to know them and explore sexually within each of your comfort zones, and then share phone numbers or emails, or find each other on Facebook, so you can hang out again.
To learn more about birth control methods and condoms, visit Planned Parenthood or read S.E.X.: The All You Need to Know Progressive Sexuality Guide by Heather Corinna.