Q&A: My Vagina Has Gotten Bigger Since Giving Birth

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QUESTION: I feel like my vagina has gotten bigger since the birth of my son two years ago. I don’t feel the tightness that I used to feel with my husband and he keeps slipping out all the time. I have tried Kegel exercises but I haven’t felt any results!

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Although not all women notice changes in the way that sex feels after having been pregnant or given birth, some women do.

It’s not uncommon for us to hear from women who have questions about their vaginal tightness or about partner slippage issues in which the penis keeps slipping out of the vagina during intercourse.

Kegel Exercises

Kegel exercises have long been recommended to women for a variety of reasons including improving bladder control as well as enhancing orgasm and arousal. However, they are not effective for all vaginal conditions and, unfortunately, they cannot always improve one’s perceptions of vaginal tightness.

Relaxation Of The Vaginal Walls

In some cases, women may experience what is sometimes called a relaxation of the front or back vaginal wall.

Sometimes the relaxation of the vaginal walls can be so pronounced that, from a healthcare provider’s view, the bladder appears to be pushing down on the front wall or the rectum may appear to be pushing against the back wall.

The former may be associated with feelings of having to urinate frequently or without warning. The latter may be associated with feeling as though you are going to pass a bowel movement with little warning or control.

These conditions appear to be more common among women who have had either difficult births or who have given birth multiple times, as the pressure of late-term pregnancies and birthing can put a woman at higher risk for muscle weakening in the pelvic area.

Gynecologists frequently hear from women who experience these types of issues. I would recommend checking in with your healthcare provider to learn more about whether there are physical issues, such as front or back wall relaxation, that may be influencing the way that sex feels for you now.

Try Different Positions

In the mean time, you may find that certain positions that allow for more control or body closeness will be easier in terms of keeping your partner inside your body.

For example, the coital alignment technique is a position that involves more pelvic grinding than thrusting, and thus it may be a particularly helpful or pleasurable position for you.

In addition, keeping a towel nearby to dab each other’s genitals at times may help to enhance friction and thus enhance feelings of a tighter fit between your two bodies.

Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.)

is a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, Associate Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and author of several books including Sex Made Easy and Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.
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