http://kinseyconfidential.org Just another WordPress weblog Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:00:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 2006-2007 aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) posts 1440 Just another WordPress weblog Kinsey Confidential Kinsey Confidential aschweig@indiana.edu No no http://kinseyconfidential.org/wp-content/themes/kinsey/images/kinsey-podcast-300.jpg http://kinseyconfidential.org 144 144 http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-tearing-intercourse-fingering/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-tearing-intercourse-fingering/#comments Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:00:18 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=1191 http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-tearing-intercourse-fingering/feed/ 0 3:13 Many young women and men have questions about having sex for the first time and losing onersquo;s virginity. In regard to your question, it is ... Many young women and men have questions about having sex for the first time and losing onersquo;s virginity. In regard to your question, it is indeed possible to experience vaginal bleeding from either fingering or penile penetration. Vaginal Tearing The vagina is made up of sensitive tissue. It can be easily torn from fingering as may occur during sex play. It can also be torn by little snags of a personrsquo;s fingernails. Penetration ndash; whether from a finger or a manrsquo;s penis ndash; can also cause the hymen to tear, either just a little or a lot. The hymen is a thin layer of tissue that partially covers a womanrsquo;s vaginal entrance. Although the size of the tissue is small, it is filled with blood vessels. As such, even if just a little bit of the hymen tears, a woman or her partner may notice blood on onersquo;s fingers, penis or on the sheets. Unfortunately, it is impossible to know whether the bleeding occurred from fingering or penetration. Slow Down However, the fact that you feel as though he may be taking advantage of your lack of experience is something to pay attention to. If you feel as though you donrsquo;t have as much power or control over the sexual aspects of your relationship, you may find that it is important to talk to your boyfriend about what you do or do not want to happen sexually and what you are or are not feeling ready for. It may be that you are more comfortable exploring at a slower pace or that you would like to learn more about sex before you continue to engage in such intimate sex play together. Also, keep in mind that vaginal penetration with a manrsquo;s penis ndash; even if itrsquo;s just a little bit ndash; can put a woman at risk for pregnancy or sexually transmissible infections, also called STIs. If you do not wish to become pregnant at this time, you may want to not engage in vaginal penetration or you may want to learn more about birth control options. Learning More You can learn more about sex by reading S.E.X.: The All You Need to Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College or The Guide to Getting It On. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/qa-strong-genital-odor-oral-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/qa-strong-genital-odor-oral-sex/#comments Mon, 10 Aug 2009 14:00:50 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/qa-strong-genital-odor-oral-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/qa-strong-genital-odor-oral-sex/feed/ 0 3:33 What yoursquo;re going through is a very common process for young women and men who are beginning to think about sharing their body with another ... What yoursquo;re going through is a very common process for young women and men who are beginning to think about sharing their body with another human being in a way that they have never chosen to do before. It is a big decision to make oneself physically and emotionally vulnerable to another person ndash; in this case, to let your boyfriend look at, touch, and ndash; yes ndash; even smell and taste your genitals. A Personal Choice The decision to have oral sex, or any other type of sex, is an enormously personal choice and nothing you should feel that you have to do if you donrsquo;t feel comfortable doing it. Your doctors are absolutely correct that all women have some type of vaginal odor. And you are correct and seemingly in tune with your body to notice that a womanrsquo;s natural vaginal odor tends to change throughout her menstrual cycle as her hormones change. Odors: Not Necessarily A Problem Interestingly, doctors are trained to be able to distinguish common vaginal odors from odors that signal a health problem. Many gynecologists use such as odor to help them make a diagnosis. The fact that you have asked your doctors about your vaginal odor suggests that you feel comfortable talking about your body with a healthcare provider. The fact that trained doctors have suggested your odor is nothing to worry about suggests that it is nothing unusual or indicative of a health problem. If your boyfriend has had oral sex or other types of sex before, or if he has fingered you or other girls before, he likely knows from experience that vaginas have different odors and that it may vary slightly from woman to woman, or from day to day. Even if he has never done any of these things, he has likely heard about vaginal odor from his friends. What you may not know is that many men and women enjoy the way that vaginas and penises smell. Some people chalk up genital odor as par for the course ndash; meaning itrsquo;s nothing they get excited about but nothing that bothers them either. Other people get enormously turned on by the way that their partner smells. Talk About Your Concerns If you want to try oral sex with your boyfriend, and the only thing getting in your way is your concern about odor, you might either just go ahead and try it or you might let your boyfriend know about your concerns. Doing so will give him an opportunity to reassure you of his excitement about being with you. Generally speaking, many healthcare providers do not recommend feminine hygiene products which can irritate the vagina as well as the skin on a womanrsquo;s genitals. Recommended Reading You can learn more about these concerns, as well as natural vaginal odor, in The V Book: A Doctorrsquo;s Guide to Complete Vulvovaginal Health. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/peerled-sex-education-work/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/peerled-sex-education-work/#comments Wed, 04 Mar 2009 19:55:31 +0000 Natalie Ingraham (M.P.H.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=937 http://kinseyconfidential.org/peerled-sex-education-work/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/pain-during-sex-first-time/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pain-during-sex-first-time/#comments Mon, 29 Dec 2008 14:00:28 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=485 http://kinseyconfidential.org/pain-during-sex-first-time/feed/ 0 3:25 A woman's first experience, or first several experiences, with vaginal intercourse are sometimes uncomfortable and, occasionally, may even be painful. If a woman has never before ... A woman's first experience, or first several experiences, with vaginal intercourse are sometimes uncomfortable and, occasionally, may even be painful. If a woman has never before had vaginal penetration such as with her own or a partner's fingers, a sex toy or even a tampon, then her vaginal entrance may be largely covered by her hymen. When the hymen - which is a thin area of tissue that is filled with tiny blood vessels - tears, a woman may or may not notice vaginal bleeding, and she may or may not feel discomfort or pain. Lack of Information The tearing of the hymen is not the only reason why a woman may feel discomfort or pain when she first starts having sex. Often times, women may experience uncomfortable sex due to a lack of information about sex. For example, by the time women first start having sex, they may have never learned that using a personal lubricant can make sex more comfortable or pleasurable. Or else they may not have learned that spending more time in foreplay before starting penetration can help a woman's body to create more natural vaginal lubrication, which can also make sex feel more comfortable and pleasurable. Ready To Have Sex? And while many adults often encourage young women and men to wait to have sex until they are older, until they are married or until they are in love, adults may not spend enough time talking to young women and men about some of the benefits of waiting until they are feeling ready to have sex. For example, when two people feel uncomfortable with each other and unsure how to talk to each other about sex, then the sex itself is perhaps less likely to feel comfortable or pleasurable. However, when two people feel comfortable talking to each other about sex, and have spent time considering the emotional and physical risks of having sex - and how they plan to deal with such risks - then they are better situated to experienced more relaxed, pleasurable, comfortable sex. Feeling Comfortable: Physically and Emotionally Before you begin having sex, you might consider ways that you can feel not just physically comfortable (such as through the use of a lubricant or taking your time to begin with gentle penetration), but also ways that you can feel emotionally comfortable with your sexual choices. You and your partner might ask each other about how having sex with affect your relationship, or your expectations for exclusivity, or your plans for reducing the risk of pregnancy or infection. Recommended Reading You can learn more about having sex and how to make it more comfortable by reading S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College by Heather Corinna. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/hymen-bleeding-first-time-intercourse/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/hymen-bleeding-first-time-intercourse/#comments Thu, 30 Oct 2008 14:00:36 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=405 http://kinseyconfidential.org/hymen-bleeding-first-time-intercourse/feed/ 0 3:07 Great question! Although many women bleed during or after the first time that they have intercourse, not all do - and the presence or absence ... Great question! Although many women bleed during or after the first time that they have intercourse, not all do - and the presence or absence of blood on the sheets is not a reliable indicator of whether or not a woman is a virgin, even though people in some cultures still look for this as a sign of virginity. Different for Different Girls Most girls are born with a layer of tissue called the hymen that covers much of their vaginal entrance. Though thin, the hymen is filled with blood vessels and so when it tears, there is often some visible blood. In some girls, the tissue is quite thin and in others the hymen is thicker. Some girls aren't born with much of a hymen at all and it's important to realize that there are differences in girls' hymens as early as infancy. As girls grow up, the hymen may be worn away for different reasons. Some girls - like some boys - stimulate their genitals with their hands or other objects. Masturbating in this way may wear away some of a girl's hymen. Some health professionals have thought that certain activities that impact the vulva, such as horseback riding or gymnastics, may also contribute to the gradual wearing away of the hymen, but research has yet to confirm that this is true. Many Ways The Hymen Can Be Worn Away As young women, mutual masturbation, or fingering, can also wear away at the hymen, as can using tampons during a menstrual period. As you can see, there are many ways that a hymen can be gently worn away over the years so that by the time a woman has vaginal intercourse for the first time, she may not have any noticeable bleeding. That doesn't mean that she's not a virgin. If you have questions about your girlfriend's previous sexual experiences, it is better to ask her in ways that are respectful, gentle and caring rather than to make assumptions based on the bedroom sheets. It is also worth considering to what extent her sexual history matters to you in your current relationship, as well as to what extent your own history may matter to her. Learn More To learn more about communicating with a partner and coming to terms with each other's sexual past, you might want to read For Each Other: Sharing Sexual Intimacy by Dr. Lonnie Barbach. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/trouble-reaching-orgasm-through-masturbation/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/trouble-reaching-orgasm-through-masturbation/#comments Thu, 09 Oct 2008 14:00:48 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=382 http://kinseyconfidential.org/trouble-reaching-orgasm-through-masturbation/feed/ 0 3:15 Most women are capable of experiencing orgasm from some type of stimulation or another, so it is unlikely that you're completely unable to do so. ... Most women are capable of experiencing orgasm from some type of stimulation or another, so it is unlikely that you're completely unable to do so. In fact, it is quite common for women to find that learning to orgasm is a process, and one that takes time, patience, and practice. Boys commonly begin masturbating around the time that they reach puberty, give or take a year. Girls, on the other hand, may begin masturbating at a wider range of ages. Many young women begin masturbating as teenagers or young adults and so it's no wonder that it takes a while to learn to orgasm if one is less familiar, or rather newly familiar, with their body's sexual response. Pressure Gets In The Way Pressure gets in the way of some women learning to orgasm, too. Often, women will pressure themselves, or feel pressured by a partner, to orgasm - which, not surprisingly, often leads to women pretending to have an orgasm when they're with a partner. Even in masturbation, with no partner present, some women feel pressured to climax. And yet pressure and being overly focused on orgasm can make it difficult for a woman to relax and enjoy the way that her body responds to stimulation. And that relaxation is key - at least as a starting place - to learn to orgasm. Usually orgasm is helped along if a woman is feeling relaxed, sexually aroused or interested, and able to pay attention - and be open to enjoying - the physical sensations that her body is experiencing. Women's Bodies and Sexual Response You may find it helpful to learn more about women's bodies and sexual response. I'm not sure how it is that you are self-pleasuring but you might spend some time exploring your body, without any intention or pressure to orgasm, and see what feels good. Some women enjoy direct stimulation of their glans clitoris, the part of the clitoris that is above the vaginal entrance at the 12 o'clock position. Others prefer vaginal stimulation and at different parts within the vagina. And while hand stimulation is enjoyed by some women, others find that using a vibrator or other sex toy delivers the type of stimulation that makes sexual play more pleasurable or orgasmic. There are many paths to orgasm, and also many issues that make it difficult for women to experience orgasm right away. Recommended Reading You might find the book Becoming Orgasmic to be of help as you explore your body in pleasurable - and potentially orgasmic - ways. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/am-i-ready-for-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/am-i-ready-for-sex/#comments Wed, 27 Aug 2008 18:06:50 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/08/22/readiness-for-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/am-i-ready-for-sex/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/period-length-pregnancy-risk/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/period-length-pregnancy-risk/#comments Mon, 21 Jul 2008 16:53:29 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/07/21/qa-my-boyfriend-put-his-hands-down-my-pants-could-i-be-pregnant/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/period-length-pregnancy-risk/feed/ 0 3:25 We get a lot of questions from women and men who are concerned about pregnancy risk. If anything, it reminds us how important it is ... We get a lot of questions from women and men who are concerned about pregnancy risk. If anything, it reminds us how important it is to educate young women and men about pregnancy and sexuality and what does (or doesnrsquo;t) put a couple at risk of becoming pregnant. In order to become pregnant, a manrsquo;s sperm need to be able to fertilize a womanrsquo;s egg, and then the fertilized egg needs to be able to implant itself into the lining of a womanrsquo;s uterus, which is called the endometrium. If your boyfriend didnrsquo;t have any recently ejaculated semen on his hand, and if his hand didnrsquo;t go very near your vaginal entrance or inside your vaginal entrance, then I cannot imagine a scenario in which you would become pregnant. He would have had to fresh, wet semen on his hand ndash; which you probably would have noticed - and then somehow have gotten it inside or awfully close to your vaginal opening. If you are worried about sperm somehow being ldquo;leftoverrdquo; on his hand from an earlier episode of masturbation, that is also unlikely ndash; clean, dry hands donrsquo;t keep sperm alive. Letrsquo;s turn now to womenrsquo;s menstrual periods. Even if you usually have 6 or 7 day periods, that doesnrsquo;t mean that you wonrsquo;t ever have shorter or even longer periods. Menstrual periods can change due to stress, weight changes, hormonal changes, health issues or for no apparent reason whatsoever. Periods are especially likely to change during adolescence. Girls who are used to having 5 day periods from age 13 to 16 may find that when they are 17 or 18 or 20, their periods become shorter or longer, or lighter or heavier. These types of changes are actually quite common, and may continue to change even in adulthood. If you are feeling anxious about being sexual with your boyfriend, it may be a sign that you need more information about sexual health, and maybe that you need to communicate more with him about your decision to be sexual together in this way. You may also want to spend more time thinking to yourself what your values, concerns and expectations are related to sexuality, so that you can have experiences that feel more comfortable and enjoyable to you. If you want to continue being sexual with him in this way, consider ways that can make it feel more comfortable to you, such as perhaps touching each other over each otherrsquo;s clothes, rather than under them. That way you can feel more certain that you will not become pregnant. To learn more about womenrsquo;s sexual health and pregnancy risk, consider reading the book Our Bodies, Ourselves. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/safe-breast-enlargement-augmentation-without-surgery/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/safe-breast-enlargement-augmentation-without-surgery/#comments Wed, 11 Apr 2007 21:48:12 +0000 Kinsey Confidential http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2007/04/11/qa-is-there-a-safe-way-to-enlarge-breasts-without-surgery/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/safe-breast-enlargement-augmentation-without-surgery/feed/ 0 3:16 While growing up, young women and men commonly wonder what their bodies will look like when pubertal growth ends and they grow into their adult ... While growing up, young women and men commonly wonder what their bodies will look like when pubertal growth ends and they grow into their adult bodies. During this time, and afterwards, many women and men struggle with different parts of their bodies and sometimes they wonder about ways to change parts of themselves either through medical procedures, pills, or lifestyle changes (e.g., exercise, eating, etc). No Effective Non-Surgical Methods Other than breast augmentation surgery (e.g., getting breast implants), we know of no scientifically backed safe or effective way to increase breast size. Although there are a large number of pills and creams that are sold on television, on the internet or through countless emails and that are said to increase breast size, these have not been well-researched and thus we have no scientific reason to believe that they actually work. Because such pills and creams have not been scientifically tested, this also means that their safety is unknown. If you are considering taking pills or creams that are being marketed for breast enlargement, please talk with your healthcare provider to learn how such pills or creams might affect your own health. Breast Size, Age, Contraception, Weight Gain I am not sure how old you are, but occasionally some women find that their breast size increases slightly during their late teens or early twenties. In addition, some women notice that their breast size increases slightly when they take hormonal contraception such as birth control pills (however, this does not happen to everyone and there is no one brand that is known to have this effect any more than others). Because breasts are composed of much fatty tissue, weight gain can also increase breast size. That said, womenrsquo;s bodies vary due to genetics; therefore some women who gain weight may notice an increase in breast size whereas others notice an increase in the size of their hips, buttocks, abdomen or upper arms (all common areas for fat to be deposited in womenrsquo;s bodies whereas men more commonly store fat in their abdominal area). Thinking About Breast Size It may be worth spending time thinking about how you feel about your body and what you think would be different in your life if you had larger breasts. Women with larger breasts (such as a C or D cup) may actually have less sensitive breasts than women with smaller breasts (A or B cup). Aside from that little bit of science, it is unclear what advantages or disadvantages come along with larger breasts. What do you, personally, think would be different if you were able to increase your breast size? Would you feel more confident, sexy, or feminine? If so, can you think of ways to have these same feelings without increasing your breast size? (By the way, in a ldquo;the grass is always greenerrdquo; mentality, many women with larger breasts imagine feeling more confident, sexy or feminine if they had smaller breasts). Bodies,,Content,Type,,Newspaper,Column aschweig@indiana.edu no No