http://kinseyconfidential.org Just another WordPress weblog Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:00:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 2006-2007 aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) posts 1440 Just another WordPress weblog Kinsey Confidential Kinsey Confidential aschweig@indiana.edu No no http://kinseyconfidential.org/wp-content/themes/kinsey/images/kinsey-podcast-300.jpg http://kinseyconfidential.org 144 144 http://kinseyconfidential.org/order-stop-ejaculating-asleep/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/order-stop-ejaculating-asleep/#comments Thu, 07 Jan 2010 14:00:05 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1315 http://kinseyconfidential.org/order-stop-ejaculating-asleep/feed/ 1 http://kinseyconfidential.org/girlfriends-vagina-dry-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/girlfriends-vagina-dry-sex/#comments Thu, 17 Dec 2009 14:00:40 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1311 http://kinseyconfidential.org/girlfriends-vagina-dry-sex/feed/ 1 http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-wetness-vagina/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-wetness-vagina/#comments Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:00:17 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1254 http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-wetness-vagina/feed/ 0 3:42 You both make good points about condoms and lubrication. Rather than focusing on who is right, letrsquo;s take a step back and talk about condoms, ... You both make good points about condoms and lubrication. Rather than focusing on who is right, letrsquo;s take a step back and talk about condoms, vaginal lubrication and store-bought lube. The Benefits of Using Condoms Using condoms ndash; as you pointed out ndash; can have significant benefits. Using a condom during sex can greatly reduce the risk of passing several but not all sexually transmissible infections (STI) including HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea and the human papillomavirus (HPV). Condoms also offer good protection against pregnancy as they prevent sperm and egg from meeting. But yoursquo;re right that as protective as condoms can be, they sometimes make sex feel more dry. After all, sexual intercourse involves a great deal of friction as your penis moves in and out of her body. nbsp;Over time, the lubricant that comes on many lubricated condoms may not feel as though it is quite enough. If the condom gets to dry, there may be an increased risk of the condom breaking. Affect on Lubrication That said, many women ndash; and young women in particular ndash; lubricate sufficiently for comfortable, pleasurable vaginal sex. nbsp;But that doesnrsquo;t mean that there are never times when adding a little store-bought lubricant to her genitals or to the outside of the condoms can help sex to feel better for one or both partners. Sometimes vaginal lubrication feels reduced if a woman is on a low estrogen birth control pill, if she is taking certain medications or if she has just taken a warm bath or shower, which may slightly dry the vagina. nbsp;Other times couples donrsquo;t spent a lot of time in foreplay, or they decide to have a quickie, which may not leave sufficient time for a woman to produce much natural vaginal lubrication. Also, sometimes sex lasts for quite a long time ndash; so long that most women would not keep lubricating in amounts sufficient for comfortable sex or to protect against condom breakage. Adding Extra Lubrication As such, no matter how well lubricated your girlfriend may feel, it may be a good idea to keep some water-based or silicone-based lubricant on hand. Then, if sex feels as though it is becoming dry and you are worried about condom breakage or just feel that lubricant would make sex more pleasurable, you can add a small dab of lubricant to either one of your genitals. There are a variety of lubricant types on the market. Some adult stores and web sites sell sampler packs of water and silicone based lubricants so that women and men can find a lubricant that they like the feel of and that they donrsquo;t find irritating. Also, if condom safety is your main concern, you can also keep a second condom on hand. That way, if the first condom appears to dry out, you can stop intercourse, remove the first condom, put a new condom on, and then resume intercourse. More Information To learn more about sexual play involving condoms and lubricants, check out my book, Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/sexual-arousal-differences-men-women/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sexual-arousal-differences-men-women/#comments Thu, 01 Oct 2009 13:00:42 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1211 http://kinseyconfidential.org/sexual-arousal-differences-men-women/feed/ 0 2:43 Like men, women may become sexually aroused when they see someone they are attracted to or desire sexually, whether that person is a woman or ... Like men, women may become sexually aroused when they see someone they are attracted to or desire sexually, whether that person is a woman or a man. After all, not all men are attracted to women and not all women are attracted to men. Key Differences There are some key differences in regard to menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s sexual arousal response, however. One of the biggest differences in many peoplersquo;s minds is that menrsquo;s erections are visible whereas womenrsquo;s arousal is more hidden. If a man becomes so mentally or physically aroused that his penis becomes partially or fully erect, then it may be noticeable to those around him. When women feel aroused ndash; whether by a man or another woman ndash; their bodies react in different ways. Like men, blood flow increases to their genitals when women feel sexually aroused. However, unlike men, the increased blood flow doesnrsquo;t cause an erection. Rather, sexual excitement and increased blood flow to the genitals in women helps to promote an increase in a womanrsquo;s natural vaginal lubrication. If yoursquo;ve ever heard of a woman becoming ldquo;wetrdquo;, the wetness being referenced is a womanrsquo;s vaginal lubrication. Inner Signs Unlike menrsquo;s erections, though, vaginal lubrication is typically not visible. Although lubrication increases during arousal, there is typically not so much of it that it soaks through a womanrsquo;s clothes. She may notice feelings of wetness in her underwear but no one else would notice. Women may also feel warm or tingly in their genital area when they feel aroused. Some women, like men, describe feeling physical sensations in their stomach, such as nervousness or excitement. Both women and men may also find it difficult to think about anything else except the person they long for and they may also notice changes in their breathing, heart rate or even in how warm their body feels. Recommended Reading To learn more about womenrsquo;s and menrsquo;s sexuality, check out The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/dry-sex-pregnancy/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/dry-sex-pregnancy/#comments Mon, 15 Jun 2009 14:00:29 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/qa-pregnant-dry-sex-clothes/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/dry-sex-pregnancy/feed/ 2 2:42 In order for a woman to become pregnant from sex play with a partner, a manrsquo;s sperm must make their way to her ovum (also ... In order for a woman to become pregnant from sex play with a partner, a manrsquo;s sperm must make their way to her ovum (also called an egg). This means that at the very least one needs sperm and an egg. If the sperm find their way to the egg and fertilize the egg, then they next need to implant themselves into a womanrsquo;s uterus before a pregnancy can begin. A Pretty Unlikely Scenario If you think about it this way, and then think about the situation you are describing, it would be very difficult for sperm to get into a womanrsquo;s vagina if both partners are wearing clothing. Although sperm are quite small, they typically do not make it through most types of clothing unless, of course, both partners were wearing mesh clothing or other clothing with large holes in it, or if they pushed their underwear to the side or were wearing thong underwear and thus somehow had direct genital contact. However, in most cases, pregnancy is not possible from dry sex in which both people are wearing clothes. Vaginal Wetness And Pre-Ejaculate The wetness that you feel could be due to one or both partners. It is common for women to notice vaginal wetness as they become more sexually excited and aroused. This is as a result of natural vaginal lubrication which increases during arousal and can make sexual play more comfortable and pleasurable for women. Also during sexual excitement and arousal, some men experience noticeable amounts of pre-ejaculate coming out of the tip of their penis. Though pre-ejaculate itself rarely contains sperm, it can still pass sexually transmissible infections, or STIs, as can vaginal fluids. As such, women and men should avoid contact with each otherrsquo;s genital fluids if they are not sure of each otherrsquo;s STI status. Recommended Reading To learn more about sex play ndash; as well as how to reduce risks of pregnancy and infection ndash; check out The Guide to Getting It On. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/girlfriend-no-feeling-during-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/girlfriend-no-feeling-during-sex/#comments Thu, 11 Dec 2008 14:00:11 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=441 ]]> http://kinseyconfidential.org/girlfriend-no-feeling-during-sex/feed/ 0 3:37 Women sometimes say that they don't feel anything during vaginal intercourse when what they mean is that they don't feel anything pleasurable or stimulating during ... Women sometimes say that they don't feel anything during vaginal intercourse when what they mean is that they don't feel anything pleasurable or stimulating during sex. Talk To Your Girlfriend These are two different issues and I would encourage you to talk with your girlfriend about your sexual experiences together at a time when you are not having sex or about to have sex. Try to find some time alone when you are both feeling relaxed and unlikely to be interrupted. Since she has already identified this as an issue that needs attention, you might say that you've given some thought to what she's said, that it's important to you as well and that you'd like to talk about it together. When you talk, try to clarify what she means when she says she can't feel anything at all during sex. If she cannot even feel that your penis is inside her vagina, then it may be helpful to keep a small towel near the bed and then dab some of the wetness from each of your genitals during breaks from sex. That's because as a woman becomes sexually aroused, her vagina lubricates naturally which can make sex more comfortable and pleasurable, as the lubrication decreases friction during sex. That said, if there is a large amount of lubrication, it can result in a woman not feeling her partner's penis inside her vagina. It isn't her fault or you fault; this just happens sometimes during sexual excitement. The same process of vaginal lubrication that serves to protect women's bodies by reducing friction can sometimes lessen sensation. Dabbing the outside part of her vaginal entrance and your penis with a towel, during little "breaks" from sex, can help to dry off some of the lubrication and heighten sensation for you both. If she gets extremely wet, she might even try inserting a small tampon for 10 or 20 seconds to soak up some of the lubrication, and she throw it out before resuming intercourse with you. Different Stimulation or Positions If she can feel your penis inside her vagina but feels as though she wants to feel more focused stimulation on certain parts of her vagina, then you two might benefit from talking about the types of thrusts or stimulation she desires. For example, would she like more stimulation on the front wall of her vagina, or closer to her cervix? Does she prefer sex that is more gentle or vigorous? Talking about each other's sexual preferences can be helpful and enhancing. She might even find that trying a woman-on-top position gives her the opportunity to rub against your body in ways that allow her to explore types of stimulation that feel most pleasurable to her. Try Sex Therapy If, however, addressing these issues related to lubrication, communication and techniques leave you both feeling as though the issue is not yet resolved, you might find it helpful to meet together with a sex therapist (find one at aasect.org) or for her to check in with her healthcare provider to rule out any medical issues. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-size-stretching-large-penis/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-size-stretching-large-penis/#comments Thu, 04 Dec 2008 14:00:45 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=437 http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-size-stretching-large-penis/feed/ 0 3:25 Given cultural messages that encourage women to have a vagina that is "tight" but not "too tight", some women wonder about the size of their ... Given cultural messages that encourage women to have a vagina that is "tight" but not "too tight", some women wonder about the size of their vagina - perhaps as much as some men worry about penis size. Vaginal Size And yet, vaginal size doesn't vary as much as people may think. Women's vaginas are relatively similar in size, with a difference of a centimeter or two here and there. And though having given birth is sometimes thought to significantly change a woman's vagina, research has not found significant differences between vaginal size of women who have given birth and those who have not, in most cases. There is no research, that I'm aware of, that has specifically looked at long-term vaginal changes following sex with a man who has a large penis - or, for that matter, sex with a vibrator or dildo of considerable size. That said, many sexual health professionals surmise that if vaginal size doesn't change much, if at all, after giving birth, it is unlikely to change much from sex with a well-endowed man. This is because the vagina is a fibromuscular tube and it tends to accommodate, and fit around, objects that penetrate it. For example, the vagina hugs closely around a man's penis, sex toy, fingers, tampon or medical instruments during a gynecological exam. And once stretched a bit, the vagina tends to return to its smaller state. The other important thing to know is that, during sex, the vagina expands naturally as part of a woman's experience of sexual arousal. As such, your ex's penis isn't the only thing that was helping to expand your vagina; during arousal, your vagina was likely expanding in both length and width - and then returning to a smaller size - all on its own. Different With A New Partner This is not to say that sex may not feel different with this partner. It might. You may find that sex feels difference due to his size, shape or technique. You may feel more or less sensation than before, or on certain parts of your vagina. Some differences - rather than being about size - may be related to experience. You were with your ex for years and had likely found preferred techniques or positions. It may take time, with your new partner, to explore and learn what works best for the two of you. If you find that you feel less sensation than you would like, consider keeping a small towel on hand to dab your or his genitals if you find that you feel very wet. Though vaginal lubrication can add to the pleasure and comfort of sex, sometimes by decreasing friction, it can decrease sensation too. Dabbing each other's genitals may help to heighten sensation for the both of you. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Relationships,,Love aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/male-arousal-erection-control/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/male-arousal-erection-control/#comments Thu, 02 Oct 2008 14:00:40 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=371 http://kinseyconfidential.org/male-arousal-erection-control/feed/ 0 3:17 You've hit upon an age-old issue for men - this issue of whether their penis controls them or they control their penis. At least, that's ... You've hit upon an age-old issue for men - this issue of whether their penis controls them or they control their penis. At least, that's one of the ideas that author David Friedman writes about in his book, A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis. Young Men And Erection Control Most men cannot control their erections or ejaculation nearly as much as they would like to. Young men often have very responsive bodies - which is a good thing when it comes to sex, because it means that they can often get and maintain erections quite easily. On the down side, however, they sometimes get erections when they don't mean to. Sometimes their erections come about in response to the tiniest amount of sexual arousal or excitement - like when they see someone attractive. Other times, erections come along at random times, like during class or while driving or sitting at home watching television. It can feel embarrassing for some men, particularly if they are worried about what people around them might think. Female Arousal Women's bodies become aroused in a range of situations too, however women's arousal isn't visible in the same way that men's arousal is visible via their erections. Women will sometimes experience genital warmth, tingly sensations or vaginal lubrication when they feel aroused or see someone attractive. They may or may not notice these signs, though, because, again, these signs aren't as obvious as men's erections but that doesn't mean that they don't occur. A Common Response In other words, your boyfriend's experience of sporadic erections - particularly in response to sexual stimuli (which, like it or not, attractive women may be) - is common. It does not mean that he does not like you or love you or want to be with you. Rather it's more of a sign that his sexual response is working quite well. In fact, both women and men experience genital arousal during sleep - several times each night, women have cycles that involve increases in vaginal lubrication and, for men, their cycles involve erections. These cycles keep blood flowing into the genital area, thus promoting the health and function of our genitals and reproductive parts. Talk To Your Boyfriend If you're feeling insecure about your boyfriend's erections, try talking to him about your feelings rather than blaming him or getting angry. Just because his body responds to sexually exciting situations doesn't mean anything bad for your relationship. This is, however, a very good opportunity to talk together and brainstorm how you can both feel comfortable in your relationship and sexuality. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/dry-vagina-during-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/dry-vagina-during-sex/#comments Thu, 19 Jun 2008 21:06:47 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/06/19/qa-vagina-gets-dry-during-intercourse/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/dry-vagina-during-sex/feed/ 0 3:18 Womenrsquo;s bodies vary in their degrees of wetness and dryness during sexual activity. Vaginal Lubrication Generally speaking, womenrsquo;s vaginas tend to become more wet thanks to natural ... Womenrsquo;s bodies vary in their degrees of wetness and dryness during sexual activity. Vaginal Lubrication Generally speaking, womenrsquo;s vaginas tend to become more wet thanks to natural vaginal lubrication when they are feeling relaxed, comfortable and sexually aroused. As a result, a woman may find that she becomes more wet during foreplay and engaging in sex play that feels good, pleasurable and arousing to her. Talking About Sex I wonder if the two of you are able to talk about sex and share what feels good to each of you. If not, you both may find it helpful, and find that it enhances your sexual intimacy to talk to each other about your likes and dislikes. It is also important to talk about sex in ways that make sure you both want to be sexual with each other in this way, and that you both are feeling emotionally and physically comfortable with your choice to have sex with each other. Sometimes women and men are worried that if they donrsquo;t have sex with their partner, that their partner will become mad or want to break up with them. Are you sure that your girlfriend feels comfortable about her decision to have sex with you in this way? Birth Control, Lubricant and Condoms What about birth control? You mentioned that you are using condoms, so I am guessing that you two do not want to become pregnant right now. However, you also mentioned that sometimes the condom is damaged because the friction is high with sex. You feel like this is because her vagina is dry ndash; and that may be true. But it is also true that condoms themselves can make sex feel more dry ndash; even when a womanrsquo;s vagina is fairly wet. Although you add water-based lubricant, many people find that because water-based lubricant absorbs quickly into the body that they need to reapply if often, especially if sex goes on for a long time. Perhaps using a silicone-based lubricant, which tends to last longer, would be helpful for making sex more comfortable and pleasurable, and reducing the risk of condom damage. I mention this too because if your girlfriend is worried about becoming pregnant, she may not feel very relaxed or comfortable and this can impair her ability to lubricate. In short, please consider talking more with each other about your feelings about being sexual with each other, about what feels good and what doesnrsquo;t, as well as consider talking about birth control and perhaps using a lubricant that lasts longer during sex. Comfortable, pleasurable sex is usually possible, but it takes communication between two partners. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Newspaper,Column aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-during-period-increased-bleeding/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-during-period-increased-bleeding/#comments Mon, 16 Jun 2008 21:17:07 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/07/25/qa-sex-during-your-period-and-increased-bleeding/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-during-period-increased-bleeding/feed/ 0 2:46 No, although it may seem like it. Herersquo;s why: Menstruation occurs when a woman's body breaks down and releases parts of the endometrial lining ndash; which ... No, although it may seem like it. Herersquo;s why: Menstruation occurs when a woman's body breaks down and releases parts of the endometrial lining ndash; which is the lining of a womanrsquo;s uterus - that has built up during the previous weeks. This includes both blood and tissue. Since that is what is being released, sexual activity won't "create" any new tissue to be released and it therefore won't make a woman bleed more during those few days of her period. Blood Or Tissue Released All At Once That said, various factors related to sexual activity that a woman experiences by herself or with a partner may cause more blood or tissue to be released all at once, or may give her the perception that her period is heavier than usual (even if it really isn't). For example, sexual activity that is arousing or orgasmic and therefore involves contractions of a woman's uterus may cause more menstrual blood or tissue release at once. Sexual activity that includes penile thrusting close to the cervix (which is the opening to the uterus) might cause more menstrual blood or tissue to release at that time as well. Some women can feel this pressure on their cervix and may find it pleasurable, whereas others feel that it is painful. Other Fluids Involved In Sex In addition, the fluids that are involved in sex can be tinged with blood as it flows out of a woman's body. These fluids include vaginal lubrication, store-bought lubricant, the lubricant from a condom, semen if no condom was used, and such. That might make it look as though a woman is having a heavier period, even though she isn't really bleeding any more than usual. Relief of Menstrual Cramping On the plus side, women sometimes find that sexual activity, either during self-masturbation or with a partner, can help to relieve menstrual cramping. The bottom line is that the total amount of blood/tissue over several days isn't changing, but some women might find the timing or appearance of one's bleeding makes it seem as though that's the case. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/non-lubricated-condoms-vaginal-bleeding/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/non-lubricated-condoms-vaginal-bleeding/#comments Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:00:43 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2008/04/24/qa-non-lubricated-condoms-and-bleeding/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/non-lubricated-condoms-vaginal-bleeding/feed/ 0 3:44 Although the vagina can withstand quite a lot when it comes to sex, it remains a very sensitive part of womenrsquo;s bodies. The vagina can ... Although the vagina can withstand quite a lot when it comes to sex, it remains a very sensitive part of womenrsquo;s bodies. The vagina can easily tear during sex, especially when the sex is full of friction as can occur during sex that is not well lubricated. Most Cuts Are Small The good news is that most vaginal cuts and tears are small, and women may only notice very light vaginal bleeding such as when they go to the bathroom, like you noticed. In cases of light cuts and light bleeding, the vagina tends to heal on its own in most cases, and often fairly quickly, such as within a day or two. It is likely to heal more quickly if you donrsquo;t further aggravate it, such as with more intercourse or even finger penetration, while it heals. If Bleeding Is Heavier Now, if you feel like the bleeding is moderate or heavy, please consider checking in with a healthcare provider, such as your gynecologist. You might also take out a mirror and look at your vaginal entrance or the parts of your vulva to see if there are any visible tears. Some women even ask their partner to look for them, as it can be difficult to see clearly when it is your own body. If you see visible cuts, you might call your healthcare provider to ask for advice. They may suggest that you come in for a visit or, if it seems more mild to them, they may suggest some at-home or over-the-counter treatment. Reducing Future Risk Herersquo;s how to reduce your risk of tearing in the future: Condoms that are not lubricated may feel particularly uncomfortable for many women, as it adds to the friction of intercourse. To make sex more comfortable, add some store-bought lubricant of your own to the outside of the condom ndash; once it is already on the penis ndash; or to your own vaginal entrance. You can also increase your own natural vaginal lubrication by spending more time in foreplay, doing things that feel sexually exciting and pleasant to you, however, you may still find that sex feels better with a little store-bought lubricant and thatrsquo;s okay too. Talking About Painful Sex Finally, I want to commend both you and your boyfriend for the way that you handled having painful sex. Not all women feel comfortable telling their partner that sex hurts, or asking them to stop. Also, not all men are respectful of their partnerrsquo;s choices to stop sex, nor are all couples often careful enough to use condoms when they want to reduce their risk of pregnancy or infection. You two have made choices that contribute to the strength of your relationship, and thatrsquo;s important. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-tearing-healing-time/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-tearing-healing-time/#comments Mon, 24 Mar 2008 13:32:48 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2008/03/24/qa-vaginal-tearing/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-tearing-healing-time/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-size-cheating-arousal/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-size-cheating-arousal/#comments Thu, 28 Feb 2008 13:27:15 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2008/02/27/qa-did-her-vagina-get-wider/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-size-cheating-arousal/feed/ 0 3:06 Although womenrsquo;s vaginas can vary a little bit in size from one woman to another, vaginal size typically does not change dramatically over the course ... Although womenrsquo;s vaginas can vary a little bit in size from one woman to another, vaginal size typically does not change dramatically over the course of two weeks. It is unlikely that your girlfriendrsquo;s vagina has actually grown wider, but we can provide some information about the vagina and womenrsquo;s sexual response that might help to give some context to that in a moment. Concern About Vaginal Size Another issue worth considering is your concern about her vaginal size. Some people wonder about genital size because they have learned about sex mainly from their friends, from magazines or web sites, and there are quite a lot of myths about menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s genitals that still persist (e.g., that men with bigger penises are better lovers; that vaginas become permanently "loose" from lots of sex; that if a man canrsquo;t get an erection, it means he isnrsquo;t attracted to his partner; that only older women have difficulty with lubrication). Aside from misinformation, could there be other reasons why yoursquo;re concerned about her size? Might it be that you are comparing her to other women you have been with (or thought about being with)? Or if itrsquo;s not her size yoursquo;re focused on, but a concern about her being with other men, where might those thoughts come from? Talk About Your Concerns If you have concerns about being able to trust one another, or how to deal with your own or her sexual attraction to others when you are apart from each other, it is probably worth raising the issue, and talking about your concerns, rather than focusing on her vagina and what it may or may not mean. Long distance relationships can work, but they often are helped by conversations related to trust, exclusivity and managing attraction to other people. Vaginal Size and Sexual Excitement In regard to the vagina, it is important to know that vaginas can change in size during sexual excitement thanks to a pretty amazing process called "vaginal tenting". What happens is this: vaginas start out at about 3-4 inches in length (during an unaroused state). During sexual excitement, muscular tension pulls the uterus upward, which has the effect of making the vagina both longer and wider. Now, instead of being 3-4 inches in length, a vagina may reach approximately 5-6 inches in length ndash; big enough to more comfortably accommodate penetration with a manrsquo;s penis, a sex toy or a partnerrsquo;s fingers. When a womanrsquo;s body returns to its resting (unaroused) state, so does her vaginal size. The vagina does not stay "tented." Even so, sometimes a womanrsquo;s vagina may feel tighter or looser during vaginal penetration, just as a man's penis might feel bigger or smaller to his partner. Often this change in perception is due to a difference in lubrication. Lubrication Also A Factor If your girlfriend was very excited to be sexual with you (which she may very well have been after spending two weeks apart) or if you spent more time in foreplay or did something that felt particularly exciting to her, then her vagina may have lubricated more than usual ndash; and it may have already tented by the time you had sex with her (and again, the tenting is likely to make her vagina feel bigger). More lubrication would create less friction which could make her vagina feel wider to you. On the other hand, sometimes a woman does not lubricate much on her own. This may occur as a side effect of taking certain medications (including certain types of birth control), following a warm bath or shower (warm water can slightly dry the vaginal walls), or when little time has been spent in foreplay. In such instances, if a woman is not well lubricated, her vagina may feel smaller or tighter. From a womanrsquo;s perspective, her partnerrsquo;s penis may seem bigger or smaller based on her level of lubrication, too. Of course, we know that the vagina isnrsquo;t "really" growing or shrinking, just as a manrsquo;s ... Bodies,,Content,Type,,Newspaper,Column,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/large-penis-pleasurable-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/large-penis-pleasurable-sex/#comments Thu, 26 Oct 2006 19:42:15 +0000 Kinsey Confidential http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2006/10/26/qa-he-is-too-big-for-me-what-can-i-do-to-make-sex-better/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/large-penis-pleasurable-sex/feed/ 1