http://kinseyconfidential.org Just another WordPress weblog Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:00:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 2006-2007 aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) posts 1440 Just another WordPress weblog Kinsey Confidential Kinsey Confidential aschweig@indiana.edu No no http://kinseyconfidential.org/wp-content/themes/kinsey/images/kinsey-podcast-300.jpg http://kinseyconfidential.org 144 144 http://kinseyconfidential.org/experienced-orgasm-suggest/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/experienced-orgasm-suggest/#comments Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:00:33 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1582 http://kinseyconfidential.org/experienced-orgasm-suggest/feed/ 0 3:38 A Common Problem Many women struggle with trying to learn to have an orgasm. Often, even very well educated women who feel comfortable with their own ... A Common Problem Many women struggle with trying to learn to have an orgasm. Often, even very well educated women who feel comfortable with their own bodies, open to their experience, and positive about sex still find it difficult to orgasm. Yoursquo;re certainly not alone in your experience. With time, patience and practice, most women are able to learn to orgasm so the chances that you will, too, are certainly in your favor. There are many different reasons why women take time to learn to orgasm. As much as you may have already learned about anatomy, you might find that there is more to learn that would be helpful. Know Your Anatomy Many medical texts, including their anatomical illustrations, do not accurately depict the clitoris. In fact, many donrsquo;t even show that the clitoris is larger than the frac14; to frac12; an inch of tissue that can be seen from the outside of a womanrsquo;s body. The clitoris extends backward into the body in two branches that may be stimulated from vaginal sex or other types of stimulation. This knowledge alone may give you different ideas for how to approach your body with stimulation. Also, newer research suggests that the clitoris, vagina and urethra are more interconnected than previously thought. The movement or stimulation of one may change the way that other parts of a womanrsquo;s genital or urinary tract feel. In addition, scientists are uncovering new information about different nerve pathways that may be linked to female orgasm and learning about these, such as from the book The Science of Orgasm, may be informative. Playing the Brain Game As helpful as information and education can be, so is the psychological process. You may find that spending time becoming highly aroused ndash; such as through touch or fantasy - helps you to experience greater pleasure during sex and may eventually help you learn to orgasm. Some women are easily distracted during sex - thinking about work, school, laundry, dinner, relationship issues or family ndash; and these distractions can make it difficult to relax, to let go and to focus on onersquo;s own arousal. Other times women donrsquo;t feel the type of intimacy or psychological excitement in their relationship that they find best helps them to experience pleasure or orgasm. Then there are situations in which women put so much pressure on themselves to orgasm that the pressure, stress and anxiety make it more difficult to orgasm. More Information If you are interested in learning more about orgasm, you may find it helpful to read Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women or Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnant-guy-pulls-ejaculates/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnant-guy-pulls-ejaculates/#comments Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:00:03 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1569 http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnant-guy-pulls-ejaculates/feed/ 0 2:33 Affirmative Pregnancy Warning Yes, from what you describe, it would technically be possible to become pregnant from having unprotected sex with a man who has just ... Affirmative Pregnancy Warning Yes, from what you describe, it would technically be possible to become pregnant from having unprotected sex with a man who has just come, wiped off his penis and then put his penis back inside your vagina. This is because even if he squeezed what he thought was the rest of his semen out of his penis and wiped it on his towel or hand, he may still have some semen further down his urethra that he would not have been able to squeeze out. Getting Rid of Semen Men cannot reliably squeeze all of their semen out of their penis. Sometimes it trickles out a few moments later. Also, there may be sperm that are further down and then, when he is inside you and gets aroused again, his pre-ejaculatory fluids may sweep up the sperm several minutes later, or even longer, and carry it outside his body and into your vagina. Avoid Pregnancy If you do not want to become pregnant, you have several options. You could abstain from sexual activity with your partner altogether. Or you could engage in sex play with your partner but only the types of sex play that do not pose a pregnancy risk, such as making out and touching each othersrsquo; genitals with your hands or having dry sex with both of your clothes on. Reliable Birth Control Or, if you are both feeling ready to have sex, then you could have sex with each other but choose to use a reliable method of birth control such as a condom or hormonal birth control such as the birth control pill, patch or ring. More Information You can learn more about these methods of birth control by reading Our Bodies, Ourselves or The Guide to Getting It On. Planned Parenthood also has extensive information about birth control methods, condoms and preventing pregnancy. Each of these resources also has information about things you can do to increase your chances of becoming pregnant if that is something that you and your partner are interested in doing together. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/underwear-pregnant-dry-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/underwear-pregnant-dry-sex/#comments Thu, 25 Feb 2010 14:00:26 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1491 http://kinseyconfidential.org/underwear-pregnant-dry-sex/feed/ 1 3:04 If you were wearing underwear, then your chances of becoming pregnant from dry sex ndash; also called dry humping ndash; border on ldquo;low to no ... If you were wearing underwear, then your chances of becoming pregnant from dry sex ndash; also called dry humping ndash; border on ldquo;low to no chance.rdquo; However, itrsquo;s often not as simple as that so, if you do not want to become pregnant, I would highly recommend that either you both keep your clothes on during dry sex or that you avoid dry sex altogether. Birth Control Options If you think therersquo;s a chance you will continue being sexual in ways that may put the two of you at risk for pregnancy, then consider using a highly effective method of birth control such as the birth control pill, patch, shot or ring. Condoms are another highly method of birth control plus condoms can greatly reduce the risk of some but not all common sexually transmissible infections, or STIs. Risky Business Herersquo;s why dry sex can be risky in terms of pregnancy. First, there is not always a clear line between ldquo;dry sexrdquo; and intercourse. Sometimes couples get very excited during their sex play and they may experiment with getting closer to each otherrsquo;s genitals.nbsp;If your underwear are small or are thong or g string style, there may be very little fabric, if any, around your vaginal entrance. If therersquo;s not much fabric to cover your vaginal entrance, or if your underwear become accidentally pushed to the side during sex play, then your partnerrsquo;s penis may touch your vaginal entrance. If he ejaculates inside your vaginal entrance or close it, then his sperm could get inside your vagina and you could become pregnant. Communicating About Sex Thatrsquo;s why I would encourage you to consider ways that you and your boyfriend can continue to enjoy each otherrsquo;s company in ways that do not put you at risk for pregnancy if you are not ready to become parents. Part of being sexual is learning how to talk about being sexual. Try talking to your boyfriend about your concerns about becoming pregnant. Let him know what you enjoy about the ways that you pleasure each other but also make sure to let him know what stresses you out or makes you feel worried, such as getting pregnant if yoursquo;re not yet ready to be parents. Together you can learn more about safer sex, birth control and how to take steps to have a more satisfying but low risk sex life. More Information To learn more about safer sex, check out the book S.E.X.: The All You Need To Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/turned-husband-rubs-clitoris/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/turned-husband-rubs-clitoris/#comments Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:00:06 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1485 http://kinseyconfidential.org/turned-husband-rubs-clitoris/feed/ 0 3:06 Likes and Dislikes It may be helpful to know that not all women feel sexually excited from having their clitoris rubbed or their vaginal entrance licked. ... Likes and Dislikes It may be helpful to know that not all women feel sexually excited from having their clitoris rubbed or their vaginal entrance licked. Some women feel excited and lubricate when they engage in those behaviors; others do not. That does not mean that you wonrsquo;t feel physically excited by other types of sex or touch, though. Pregnancy It also does not mean that you canrsquo;t have a baby. A woman may become pregnant whether or not she lubricates or has an orgasm during sex. Your level of sexual excitement has nothing to do with your ability to become pregnant ndash; unless yoursquo;re avoiding sex because itrsquo;s not exciting. However, if you have concerns about your fertility or questions about how to improve your chances of becoming pregnant, check in with a gynecologist or your primary healthcare provider. Exploring During Sex I would encourage you and your partner to explore your sexuality in a broader, more expansive way and to pay attention to your emotional experience of sex rather than only your physical sensations. How does it feel when your husband touches your breasts, your inner thighs, or when he massages your back? How do you feel when you touch him on different parts of his body? You may find it pleasurable or informative to experience different types of touch together. Rubbing each othersrsquo; bodies with a massage cream or a lotion can feel very different, sensually speaking, than rubbing each other with dry hands. Using a slow rhythm can feel different than a quick rhythm. There are also clear differences between being touched or licked in ways that are gentle versus ways that are firm. As you two explore, you may find that you do enjoy being stimulated on your clitoris or around your vaginal entrance but that you prefer different types of touch or licks than you have previously been exploring. Or you may find that you donrsquo;t respond to genital stimulation as greatly as you respond to breast stimulation or to lots and lots of kissing. Thatrsquo;s okay. All women have different experiences from each other. More Information To learn more about exploring each otherrsquo;s bodies, as well as enhancing emotional intimacy, in ways that will promote more pleasurable sex, check out Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure or For Each Other: Sharing Sexual Intimacy. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/young-american-women-pubic-area/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/young-american-women-pubic-area/#comments Mon, 08 Feb 2010 14:00:24 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1362 http://kinseyconfidential.org/young-american-women-pubic-area/feed/ 1 3:40 A New Trend Over the past decade, an increasing number of American women ndash; mostly younger women in their teens, twenties and thirties ndash; have been ... A New Trend Over the past decade, an increasing number of American women ndash; mostly younger women in their teens, twenties and thirties ndash; have been removing more if not all of their pubic hair. Many men, too, have been following this trend and trimming, shaving or waxing off more of their pubic hair than in the past. Though this has become a more recent trend in the United States, there are at least a few other countries in which pubic hair removal is common. However, in most cultures, it is not common for adult women to remove all of their pubic hair. After all, pubic hair is one of the physical signs of sexual maturity. Who is Doing the Shaving Just how many women or men are removing all of their pubic hair, however, is unknown. There have only been a handful of studies on the topic and most have used convenience samples that donrsquo;t give us valid or reliable information about American women on the whole. As a result, we donrsquo;t know how many women or men remove all of their pubic hair in big cities versus small towns or at what age total removal tends to begin. Hairy Perks That said, not all women and not all men remove all of their pubic hair in the United States. Many of the college students I talk to say that they prefer to not remove all of their pubic hair. Some have tried it and found that they didnrsquo;t like the side effects that come with removing more and more hair, side effects such as razor burn from shaving or in-grown hairs that may be common with either shaving or waxing. Others, like you, just donrsquo;t like the way that it looks to be without pubic hair. Some women and men say that having no hair makes them feel like a child who hasnrsquo;t even gone through puberty. Also, some men have told me that they find it difficult to find a woman without pubic hair to be sexy as she looks more like a child than a grown adult woman. The Sexy Side of Pubic Hair Itrsquo;s also common for women and men to say that therersquo;s something they like about having even just a little bit of pubic hair. Some people find that it feels very sensual to have a little bit of pubic hair to tug on ndash; that it can enhance sensation during masturbation or partner sex. Others just like how it looks. Then again, some people prefer for their pubic area to feel smooth and hairless. Or they may find that they feel more comfortable giving or receiving oral sex when there is very little pubic hair or no pubic hair. I tend to encourage women and men to do what feels most comfortable for them and also to consider what kind of body they will feel most sexy in. Even if your partner finds a certain type of pubic hair style to be sexy, if you donrsquo;t, then it may inhibit you during sex to have a style that doesnrsquo;t feel right to you. Different Hair Styles A nice thing about pubic hair is that it can be removed with relative ease and unless you are using permanent removal or reduction techniques such as electrolysis or laser reduction, it grows back in relatively quickly ndash; with a few days or a week if yoursquo;ve shaved it off and within 2-4 weeks if yoursquo;ve waxed some or all of it off. As a result, people can experiment with different styles to see what feels right to them. Learn More To learn more about the pros and cons of different methods of pubic hair removal, check out The V Book: A Doctorrsquo;s Guide to Complete Vulvovaginal Health or Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure #38; Satisfaction. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-orgasms/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-orgasms/#comments Mon, 01 Feb 2010 14:00:30 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1360 http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-orgasms/feed/ 1 http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-girlfriend-bleed-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-girlfriend-bleed-sex/#comments Thu, 28 Jan 2010 14:00:14 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1359 http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-girlfriend-bleed-sex/feed/ 1 3:08 Feeling the Friction Sexual intercourse involves friction between two peoplersquo;s bodies. Just the right amount of friction can contribute to menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s physical pleasure during ... Feeling the Friction Sexual intercourse involves friction between two peoplersquo;s bodies. Just the right amount of friction can contribute to menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s physical pleasure during sex. The friction of sexual stimulation on a manrsquo;s penis or against a womanrsquo;s vulva or vagina can even help men and women have orgasms. Too much friction, though, and sex may feel uncomfortable or painful. Too little friction and it may not feel like much of anything is happening during intercourse. Condoms' Contributions Wearing a condom can add to the friction during sex. Sometimes this added friction is a welcome sensation; other times, it is not. It may be that the condom adds a little too much friction for you and your girlfriend ndash; but that doesnrsquo;t mean that you have to give up wearing condoms. After all, condoms are a highly effective means of reducing the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmissible infections, or STIs. Sex Solutions Perhaps you and your girlfriend already have a tight genital fit and the condom provides a bit too much friction. Or maybe sexual intercourse starts out all right with the condom on but it lasts so long or is vigorous in a way that the lubricant on the condom eventually dries up, leaving you with a dry condom and more friction than feels pleasurable. If this is the case, then sex may feel dry and your girlfriend may be more prone to small vaginal tears, which can result in small amounts of bleeding during or after sex. Most women will experience small vaginal cuts or tears at some point in their lives; usually they are not painful and will heal within a few days. To prevent vaginal cuts or bleeding, however, try adding extra water-based lubricant or silicone-based lubricant to the condom after it is already on your penis. You may find that by adding lubricant, sex feels more comfortable and pleasurable and your girlfriend may be less likely to bleed during or after sex. If sex goes on for a long time or is particularly rough or vigorous, make sure to add more lubricant as needed. More Information You can learn more about different types of lubricants, how to use them and how lubricants can contribute to more pleasurable sex in my book, Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/clitoris-vulva-fusing/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/clitoris-vulva-fusing/#comments Mon, 18 Jan 2010 14:00:26 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1321 http://kinseyconfidential.org/clitoris-vulva-fusing/feed/ 2 2:45 I think itrsquo;s pretty fantastic that you are looking at your own genitals and have a sense of what is normal or not normal for ... I think itrsquo;s pretty fantastic that you are looking at your own genitals and have a sense of what is normal or not normal for your own body. Not all women have seen their vulva even once or know the names of their genital body parts, so itrsquo;s impressive to me that you know these things. The Clitoris: The Basics The clitoris is bigger than it looks from the outside. Although about frac14; to frac12; an inch of the glans clitoris can be seen externally, there are two branches of the clitoris that go backward into the body. The glans clitoris ndash; the part that can be seen from the outside ndash; sometimes seems to fuse to the clitoral hood. The glans may even appear to be trapped inside the clitoris. Changing Bodies Changes to the structre of the vulva, whether to the clitoris or the vaginal lips, can occur as part of menopause, when estrogen levels decrease, or as a result of a genital skin condition such as one called lichen sclerosus. And while this commonly happens to adult women, it can also happen to infant girls or to children or teenagers. If you have questions about your genital appearance, I would encourage you to check in with a gynecologist or a dermatologist who has expertise in genital skin health and disease. You can find such a specialist through the International Society for the Study of Vulvovaginal Disease's web site. What Can Be Done In some cases, treatments such as topical creams may be used to reverse changes to parts of the vulva. Treatments may be more effective if a medical condition is caught early or treated. In some cases, if a problem has been allowed to persist without treatment, it can be more difficult to restore through the use of creams. That is why I would encourage you to check in with a specialist sooner rather than later just in case. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-bleed-lot/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-bleed-lot/#comments Mon, 11 Jan 2010 14:00:40 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1318 http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-bleed-lot/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/feel-restricted-sex-life-girlfriend/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/feel-restricted-sex-life-girlfriend/#comments Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:00:56 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1294 http://kinseyconfidential.org/feel-restricted-sex-life-girlfriend/feed/ 2 3:12 Irsquo;m sorry to hear that your sex life isnrsquo;t as enjoyable or as exciting as you wish it were and that you feel limited in ... Irsquo;m sorry to hear that your sex life isnrsquo;t as enjoyable or as exciting as you wish it were and that you feel limited in the ways that you can express your affection to or attraction for you girlfriend. It can be difficult not to take those types of limits to heart or to feel frustrated by these restrictions. It sounds as though your girlfriend, too, experiences both emotional and possibly physical difficulties in regard to her sexuality. I canrsquo;t help but wonder, for example, what she means by oral sex bringing back bad memories for her. Everyone is entitled to keep secrets that make sense for them and it is certainly not the case that she should have to share information with you if she is not yet ready or able to. History of Sexual Abuse However, if she has a past history of having been abused as a child or if she had uncomfortable, painful or nonconsensual experiences of sex as a teenager or adult, it is very possible that this past continues to have an impact on her. She may or may not be ready to deal with these issues either on her own or with a therapist, but at some point she may find that in order to have a more comfortable, pleasurable or satisfying sexual experience, that she may need to. Vulvodynia In terms of vaginal touching, does she not want you to touch her vaginal because of these same bad memories? Or does it hurt for her vagina or vulva to be touched for other reasons? Some women ndash; perhaps as many as 10 to 15% of women ndash; experience genital pain that can result from daily activities such as bike riding or sitting at a desk, as well as from sexual activities. To learn more about vulvodynia (which means vulvar pain), you or your girlfriend can visit the web site of the National Vulvodynia Association, which is www.nva.org. More Information If your girlfriend has a history of having been sexually abused or assaulted, she may find it helpful to read The Courage to Heal or to meet with a therapist. She can find one through the American Psychological Associationrsquo;s web site which is www.apa.org. In the mean time, you two may also be able to find comfortable ways of connecting in intimate ways that take you away from the unsuccessful things that yoursquo;ve tried together and more into new ways of exploring. Consider getting together and reading For Each Other: Sharing Sexual Intimacy for creative ideas about exploring together. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/connection-sex-abuse-urge-pee-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/connection-sex-abuse-urge-pee-sex/#comments Mon, 30 Nov 2009 14:00:24 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1288 http://kinseyconfidential.org/connection-sex-abuse-urge-pee-sex/feed/ 0 3:11 Thank you for your question. I am sorry to hear that you were abused as a child. Many women and men who have been sexually ... Thank you for your question. I am sorry to hear that you were abused as a child. Many women and men who have been sexually abused as children wonder how their abusive experiences may have impacted their sexual experiences as a teenager and adult. And, of course, there are a range of ways that abuse can affect a personrsquo;s later romantic relationships and sexual experiences. It can be confusing to know if something is abuse-related or not when it comes to sex given that sex is often a taboo topic and therefore not openly talked about. When we donrsquo;t talk about sex openly, itrsquo;s difficult to know what is common and what is not. Clitoral Complex As it turns out, it is not uncommon for women to feel as though they have to pee in relation to sexual arousal or sexual behavior. The clitoris, vagina and urethra (which connects to the bladder) are so closely connected that some scientists have suggested that we use the term ldquo;clitoral complexrdquo; to refer to these interconnections. Stimulation of one of these parts often affects the others. As such, when women are touched on their clitoris or vagina, they sometimes feel as though they have to pee ndash; even if they donrsquo;t. Other women notice these sensations as they become more aroused and closer to orgasm. Sex on a Full Bladder Women vary in how they respond to these sensations. Some choose to pee before they have sex. Others stop sex and get up to pee, then resume having sex. Still, other women try to concentrate on their pleasurable sexual sensations rather than think about the sensations that feel as though they have to urinate. And then there are the women who prefer to have sex on a full bladder because they find that the sensations enhance their feelings of pleasure and arousal! Getting More Information All of this is not to say that your sensations are totally unrelated to your abuse. If you have a sense that your experience is related to your childhood abuse, you might want to discuss these concerns with a trained sex therapist who you can find through the Society for Sex Therapy and Researchrsquo;s web site, which is www.sstartnet.org. However, rest assured that this is a common enough experience that is shared by many women ndash; some with abuse histories and some without. You may also find it helpful to read the updated edition of Becoming Orgasmic which includes a section related to moving on from sexual abuse. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Sexual,Assault aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-fluids-taste-sour/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-fluids-taste-sour/#comments Thu, 26 Nov 2009 14:00:48 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1281 http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-fluids-taste-sour/feed/ 0 2:56 Great question! Each womanrsquo;s vaginal scent and taste are unique to her so although it is common for vaginas to taste or smell a bit ... Great question! Each womanrsquo;s vaginal scent and taste are unique to her so although it is common for vaginas to taste or smell a bit yeasty, acidic or like sour milk, a womanrsquo;s vaginal taste can change throughout her menstrual cycle or in response to her behaviors or her health. Taking Note of Changes It is also quite common for women to notice a change in the way that their vagina tastes or smells after they have unprotected sex with a man, as menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s sexual fluids can mix and cause scents of their own. Women may also notice that their vaginal fluids smell or taste different just before, during or after their menstrual cycle or after they have sex. In some cases, it can be important to take note of these changes. This is because some changes can signal a health issue. If a woman notices a very strong vaginal odor after she has intercourse with her partner, then it may signal a bacterial imbalance or infection that can be treated by a doctor. If you have questions about your personal vaginal scent or taste, please check in with your healthcare provider who can examine you and check for any bacterial or yeast problems. Growing Accustomed to Your Smell and Taste It may just be that your vaginal fluids have a sour or sharp taste to them. If the taste bothers you or your husband, you could try keeping a glass of water on hand to rinse your or his mouth or you could keep a damp washcloth nearby and briefly dab his penis prior to performing oral sex on him after his penis has been inside your vagina. Or you could sprinkle a little bit of flavored body dust on his penis prior to going down on him. Then again, you may get used to the taste over time, as it becomes familiar. You may even decide that itrsquo;s a taste that you come to enjoy. If yoursquo;re curious, you might try touching your finger to your vaginal at different points during your menstrual cycle to see if or how your taste changes over time. More Information To learn more about normal variations in vaginal scent and taste, as well as those that may signal health concerns, check out The V Book: A Doctorrsquo;s Guide to Complete Vulvovaginal Health. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-wetness-vagina/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-wetness-vagina/#comments Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:00:17 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1254 http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-wetness-vagina/feed/ 0 3:42 You both make good points about condoms and lubrication. Rather than focusing on who is right, letrsquo;s take a step back and talk about condoms, ... You both make good points about condoms and lubrication. Rather than focusing on who is right, letrsquo;s take a step back and talk about condoms, vaginal lubrication and store-bought lube. The Benefits of Using Condoms Using condoms ndash; as you pointed out ndash; can have significant benefits. Using a condom during sex can greatly reduce the risk of passing several but not all sexually transmissible infections (STI) including HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea and the human papillomavirus (HPV). Condoms also offer good protection against pregnancy as they prevent sperm and egg from meeting. But yoursquo;re right that as protective as condoms can be, they sometimes make sex feel more dry. After all, sexual intercourse involves a great deal of friction as your penis moves in and out of her body. nbsp;Over time, the lubricant that comes on many lubricated condoms may not feel as though it is quite enough. If the condom gets to dry, there may be an increased risk of the condom breaking. Affect on Lubrication That said, many women ndash; and young women in particular ndash; lubricate sufficiently for comfortable, pleasurable vaginal sex. nbsp;But that doesnrsquo;t mean that there are never times when adding a little store-bought lubricant to her genitals or to the outside of the condoms can help sex to feel better for one or both partners. Sometimes vaginal lubrication feels reduced if a woman is on a low estrogen birth control pill, if she is taking certain medications or if she has just taken a warm bath or shower, which may slightly dry the vagina. nbsp;Other times couples donrsquo;t spent a lot of time in foreplay, or they decide to have a quickie, which may not leave sufficient time for a woman to produce much natural vaginal lubrication. Also, sometimes sex lasts for quite a long time ndash; so long that most women would not keep lubricating in amounts sufficient for comfortable sex or to protect against condom breakage. Adding Extra Lubrication As such, no matter how well lubricated your girlfriend may feel, it may be a good idea to keep some water-based or silicone-based lubricant on hand. Then, if sex feels as though it is becoming dry and you are worried about condom breakage or just feel that lubricant would make sex more pleasurable, you can add a small dab of lubricant to either one of your genitals. There are a variety of lubricant types on the market. Some adult stores and web sites sell sampler packs of water and silicone based lubricants so that women and men can find a lubricant that they like the feel of and that they donrsquo;t find irritating. Also, if condom safety is your main concern, you can also keep a second condom on hand. That way, if the first condom appears to dry out, you can stop intercourse, remove the first condom, put a new condom on, and then resume intercourse. More Information To learn more about sexual play involving condoms and lubricants, check out my book, Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-pain-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-pain-sex/#comments Mon, 12 Oct 2009 13:00:07 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1235 http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-pain-sex/feed/ 1 3:04 Many Women Deal With Vaginal Pain As many as 10 to 15% of women experience chronic genital pain issues which can greatly impair daily activities, such ... Many Women Deal With Vaginal Pain As many as 10 to 15% of women experience chronic genital pain issues which can greatly impair daily activities, such as riding in a car, wearing tight clothing or sitting down at work all day. Genital pain can also make sex feel very painful. Some women who experience genital pain only feel pain at the moment of sexual penetration whereas others feel it during a range of sexual activities. Even genital touching or cunnilingus can be painful for some women. Doctors Are Still Learning Unfortunately, many healthcare providers have not received adequate training in issues related to genital pain. Research related to genital pain is relatively new with the vast majority of the research having been conducted only in the past decade. As a result, women who experience genital pain may be best served by seeing a healthcare provider who has significant expertise in diagnosing and treating conditions such as vulvodynia, which means ldquo;vulvar painrdquo;. The vulva is the word use to describe the outside parts of a womanrsquo;s genitals. Find More Information The National Vulvodynia Association is a patient advocacy group that supports research related to genital pain. They also maintain a list of healthcare providers who have experience diagnosing and treating women with such problems. You might try contacting the NVA through their web site, which is www.nva.org, to find out if there is an expert in your area that your wife can go to see. In addition, although there are real, physical causes of genital pain, therersquo;s no doubt that genital pain can have difficult influences on a couplersquo;s relationship. Many women feel guilty for being unable to pleasure their partner in the way that they would like to. Often times, womenrsquo;s partners feel frustrated at the lack of intimacy, too, and may find it difficult to let go during sex lest they end up unintentionally hurting their partner. Sex therapy can help couples communicate in helpful ways about sex and work together to find ways of being intimate in pleasurable, connecting ways. You can find a sex therapist in your area through the web site of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research which is www.sstarnet.org. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/qa-strong-genital-odor-oral-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/qa-strong-genital-odor-oral-sex/#comments Mon, 10 Aug 2009 14:00:50 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/qa-strong-genital-odor-oral-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/qa-strong-genital-odor-oral-sex/feed/ 0 3:33 What yoursquo;re going through is a very common process for young women and men who are beginning to think about sharing their body with another ... What yoursquo;re going through is a very common process for young women and men who are beginning to think about sharing their body with another human being in a way that they have never chosen to do before. It is a big decision to make oneself physically and emotionally vulnerable to another person ndash; in this case, to let your boyfriend look at, touch, and ndash; yes ndash; even smell and taste your genitals. A Personal Choice The decision to have oral sex, or any other type of sex, is an enormously personal choice and nothing you should feel that you have to do if you donrsquo;t feel comfortable doing it. Your doctors are absolutely correct that all women have some type of vaginal odor. And you are correct and seemingly in tune with your body to notice that a womanrsquo;s natural vaginal odor tends to change throughout her menstrual cycle as her hormones change. Odors: Not Necessarily A Problem Interestingly, doctors are trained to be able to distinguish common vaginal odors from odors that signal a health problem. Many gynecologists use such as odor to help them make a diagnosis. The fact that you have asked your doctors about your vaginal odor suggests that you feel comfortable talking about your body with a healthcare provider. The fact that trained doctors have suggested your odor is nothing to worry about suggests that it is nothing unusual or indicative of a health problem. If your boyfriend has had oral sex or other types of sex before, or if he has fingered you or other girls before, he likely knows from experience that vaginas have different odors and that it may vary slightly from woman to woman, or from day to day. Even if he has never done any of these things, he has likely heard about vaginal odor from his friends. What you may not know is that many men and women enjoy the way that vaginas and penises smell. Some people chalk up genital odor as par for the course ndash; meaning itrsquo;s nothing they get excited about but nothing that bothers them either. Other people get enormously turned on by the way that their partner smells. Talk About Your Concerns If you want to try oral sex with your boyfriend, and the only thing getting in your way is your concern about odor, you might either just go ahead and try it or you might let your boyfriend know about your concerns. Doing so will give him an opportunity to reassure you of his excitement about being with you. Generally speaking, many healthcare providers do not recommend feminine hygiene products which can irritate the vagina as well as the skin on a womanrsquo;s genitals. Recommended Reading You can learn more about these concerns, as well as natural vaginal odor, in The V Book: A Doctorrsquo;s Guide to Complete Vulvovaginal Health. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-fit-genital-size/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-fit-genital-size/#comments Mon, 03 Aug 2009 14:00:19 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=1108 http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-fit-genital-size/feed/ 0 3:31 Although many people joke about the size of penises and vaginas, people rarely talk about genital size in ways that are helpful or informative. As ... Although many people joke about the size of penises and vaginas, people rarely talk about genital size in ways that are helpful or informative. As such, it leaves many people wondering if their own or their partnerrsquo;s genital size is normal. Genital Fit When discussing how sex feels, I find it helpful to start by talking about ldquo;genital fitrdquo; rather than either partnerrsquo;s genital size, given that both partnerrsquo;s genital size affects the overall fit. It seems that sex feels different to you now and you have attributed this to your wife possibly having a bigger or wider vagina than she did when she was younger. Changes With Age Menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s bodies both experience changes with age, and it is possible that her vagina has not changed but your erections may be what has changed. It is common for men to experience less rigid or reliable erections with age, which can translate into a somewhat smaller erect penis size with age. If your erections are even slightly shorter or thinner than they used to be, it could cause vaginal intercourse to feel more ldquo;looserdquo; or ldquo;roomyrdquo; than it used to. Then again, you are not the only person who has been getting older. Your wife, too, is aging as we all are and her body also bore your family two children. Even though both children were both delivered by C-section rather than through vaginal birth, the experience of being pregnant can weaken womenrsquo;s pelvic floor muscles, as may other things such as heavy lifting or medical conditions. Over time, as a womanrsquo;s pelvic floor muscles weaken or relax, they can make the vaginal feel wider or looser than it once did. Often times, this is associated with symptoms such as mild, moderate or severe urinary or fecal incontinence ndash; in other words, feeling as though one has to urinate or defecate without meaning to. Questions of Trust and Fidelity Again, given how little we talk about genital size in helpful ways, it is understandable that you wondered how it is that sex now feels different. However, it may also be that your questions about her fidelity or sexual practices have made your wife feel bad about her body or as if you donrsquo;t trust her. Try to consider ways that you can express your love and respect for her, and how you can approach your aging and changing bodies in open and accepting ways. If your wife is experiencing symptoms related to incontinence, she might find it helpful to talk to a healthcare provider, such as a gynecologist. Recommended Reading You and your wife may also find it helpful to explore each otherrsquo;s bodies in ways you may not have done in months or years. A book such as For Each Other: Sharing Sexual Intimacy is packed with tips and techniques for exploration and re-connection. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No