http://kinseyconfidential.org Just another WordPress weblog Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:00:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 2006-2007 aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) posts 1440 Just another WordPress weblog Kinsey Confidential Kinsey Confidential aschweig@indiana.edu No no http://kinseyconfidential.org/wp-content/themes/kinsey/images/kinsey-podcast-300.jpg http://kinseyconfidential.org 144 144 http://kinseyconfidential.org/study-finds-universal-definition-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/study-finds-universal-definition-sex/#comments Tue, 09 Mar 2010 11:00:33 +0000 Eric Anthony Grollman (M.A.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1689 http://kinseyconfidential.org/study-finds-universal-definition-sex/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/evidence-sexual-orientation-synonymous-identity/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/evidence-sexual-orientation-synonymous-identity/#comments Tue, 02 Mar 2010 11:00:20 +0000 Eric Anthony Grollman (M.A.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1637 http://kinseyconfidential.org/evidence-sexual-orientation-synonymous-identity/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/defining-sex-addiction-legitimate/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/defining-sex-addiction-legitimate/#comments Mon, 01 Mar 2010 14:00:05 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1493 http://kinseyconfidential.org/defining-sex-addiction-legitimate/feed/ 2 3:34 Scientific Definition Many research scientists who study sex struggle with the concept of sex addiction. Although the term ldquo;sex addictionrdquo; is often used in the media, ... Scientific Definition Many research scientists who study sex struggle with the concept of sex addiction. Although the term ldquo;sex addictionrdquo; is often used in the media, it is not used as commonly among scientific circles. Thatrsquo;s not to say that sex researchers and therapists donrsquo;t encounter people with problems related to sex. In fact, itrsquo;s quite clear that a small proportion of people ndash; more so men than women ndash; experience their sexuality in a way that may feel out of control or addictive to them, even if it is not a ldquo;truerdquo; addiction. Addictive Behaviors? Some researchers feel that there is a gray line between describing something as an ldquo;addictionrdquo; versus a bad habit or a behavior that has gotten out of control in someonersquo;s life. For example, some years ago the media used to talk a lot about ldquo;shopping addictionsrdquo;. These days, people may describe themselves as having an addiction to their technology such as to their Blackberry, iPhone or Facebook. However, feeling obsessed with or tied to something is not the same as an actual addiction. If someone had to go a few days without shopping or checking their online profile, they may not like it but they wouldnrsquo;t exhibit the signs of withdrawal that people who are addicted to drugs or alcohol do. The Rules of the Relationship The idea of sex addiction is also challenging because it seems to be influenced by what is acceptable behavior within a personrsquo;s relationship or social circle. For example, some women say that they feel their husband has a sex addiction because he continued to masturbate even after they got married. Others have expressed concern that their partner has a sex addiction because he or she watches porn regularly even though theyrsquo;re in a relationship. However, just because someone doesnrsquo;t like or approve of their partnerrsquo;s behavior does not make it an addiction. After all, someone else might accept or even feel turned on by the idea that their partner masturbates on their own or watches porn. People differ. So, is the problem the behavior or how a couple negotiates and communicates about the behavior? Legitimate Concerns That said, there are other cases that are more extreme in which people find it very difficult to stop a sexual behavior that is causing them great distress or problems in their personal or professional life, or even legal problems. Some people develop a strong urge, that may even feel uncontrollable, to masturbate in public or to masturbate throughout the day, even while at their desk at work. Others may find it difficult to stop having sex with strangers, or to stop having affairs, even though they want to stop. Finding Help If a sexual behavior is causing distress or is problematic in a personrsquo;s life, a sex therapist can often help. Though some sex therapists use the term ldquo;sex addictionrdquo; others describe it as hypersexuality or as an impulsive-compulsive behavioral issue. The term, however, is less important than seeking quality help from a trained professional when needed. You can find a sex therapist in your area through the web site of The Society for Sex Therapy and Research. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/majority-swedish-young-women-report-fluid-sexualities/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/majority-swedish-young-women-report-fluid-sexualities/#comments Tue, 16 Feb 2010 11:00:02 +0000 Eric Anthony Grollman (M.A.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/majority-swedish-young-women-report-fluid-sexualities/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/majority-swedish-young-women-report-fluid-sexualities/feed/ 1 http://kinseyconfidential.org/survey-reveals-major-gaps-young-adults-knowledge-safe-sex-2/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/survey-reveals-major-gaps-young-adults-knowledge-safe-sex-2/#comments Tue, 09 Feb 2010 11:00:22 +0000 Eric Anthony Grollman (M.A.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/survey-reveals-major-gaps-young-adults-knowledge-safe-sex-2/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/survey-reveals-major-gaps-young-adults-knowledge-safe-sex-2/feed/ 1 http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbate-facedown-sexual-problems/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbate-facedown-sexual-problems/#comments Thu, 04 Feb 2010 14:00:26 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1358 http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbate-facedown-sexual-problems/feed/ 1 3:15 Research in Masturbation The term traumatic masturbatory syndrome was first used in a 1998 article by a clinician who described four of his patients who masturbated ... Research in Masturbation The term traumatic masturbatory syndrome was first used in a 1998 article by a clinician who described four of his patients who masturbated face-down and who experienced sexual problems. However, the term has never been widely accepted by the sex research or therapy community. After all, just because four men who masturbated with this technique also had sexual problems does not mean that the masturbation technique caused the other sexual problems or that itrsquo;s an actual syndrome, let alone a traumatic syndrome. Although a face-down style of masturbation that involves rubbing against the bed appears to be less common than a style that involves a man laying on his back or sitting up, that doesnrsquo;t mean that face-down masturbation will cause sexual problems. However, sometimes men who rely on one and only way of masturbating find it difficult to orgasm from other types of masturbation or sexual stimulation such as oral sex or intercourse. New Techniques In my experiencing working with men, they can often ldquo;re-trainrdquo; their bodies to respond to a wider range of sexual stimulation by varying their masturbation technique. You might try, for example, masturbating with lots of lubricant sometimes, a small amount of lubricant other times and no lubricant at all on other occasions. You might try different paces or rhythms or using different hand techniques. Try to focus on experiencing pleasure rather than the goal of orgasm which can put pressure on your experience and make it even more difficult to come. You might even try masturbating less often. Sometimes, by masturbating less often you can build sexual tension in a way that makes it easier to orgasm when you do masturbate again. Resources If you continue to find it difficult to ejaculate, I would encourage you to speak with your healthcare provider about your experience. In some cases, medical conditions such as diabetes can contribute to menrsquo;s difficulty with ejaculation or orgasm. Sex therapy can be helpful as well in cases where the difficulty ejaculating makes men feel worried, anxious or concerned about dating or being sexual with another person. You can find a sex therapist in your area on Society for Sex Therapy and Research's website. Finally, reading The New Male Sexuality may be helpful as you explore a wider range of sexual pleasure. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/gspot-magic-myth-researchers-myth/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/gspot-magic-myth-researchers-myth/#comments Tue, 12 Jan 2010 11:00:01 +0000 Eric Anthony Grollman (M.A.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/gspot-magic-myth-researchers-myth/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/gspot-magic-myth-researchers-myth/feed/ 6 http://kinseyconfidential.org/sociological-imagination-introducing-eric-anthony-grollman/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sociological-imagination-introducing-eric-anthony-grollman/#comments Tue, 03 Nov 2009 11:02:09 +0000 Eric Anthony Grollman (M.A.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/sociological-imagination-introducing-eric-anthony-grollman/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sociological-imagination-introducing-eric-anthony-grollman/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/kinsey-institute-presents-conversations-sex-research/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/kinsey-institute-presents-conversations-sex-research/#comments Wed, 21 Oct 2009 11:00:20 +0000 Eric Anthony Grollman (M.A.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/kinsey-institute-presents-conversations-sex-research/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/kinsey-institute-presents-conversations-sex-research/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/finding-voice-blogger-enters-scene/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/finding-voice-blogger-enters-scene/#comments Tue, 22 Sep 2009 02:17:55 +0000 J. Bradley Blankenship (M.S.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=1128 http://kinseyconfidential.org/finding-voice-blogger-enters-scene/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/kinsey-institute-news/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/kinsey-institute-news/#comments Sat, 28 Feb 2009 02:44:25 +0000 Natalie Ingraham (M.P.H.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=935 http://kinseyconfidential.org/kinsey-institute-news/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/desire-discrepancy-older-couples-sex-frequency/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/desire-discrepancy-older-couples-sex-frequency/#comments Mon, 16 Feb 2009 14:00:58 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=858 http://kinseyconfidential.org/desire-discrepancy-older-couples-sex-frequency/feed/ 0 3:07 Your wife is correct: having sex 3 to 4 times per week in one's 50s is indeed above the average for your age group. In ... Your wife is correct: having sex 3 to 4 times per week in one's 50s is indeed above the average for your age group. In fact, the average frequency of intercourse for couples in their 20s and 30s is only 1 to 2 times per week. Of course, that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with having sex more often - some couples certainly do. Unless, of course, your wife doesn't want to have sex that often. Perhaps she's not really concerned about being "different" than other women her age; it may just be that she is happy having sex less often than you are. Desire Discrepancy When two people who are in a relationship want different frequencies of sex, we sometimes refer to this as "desire discrepancy". It is actually incredibly common for two people to have different preferences for sex - after all, what are the odds that you will find someone who has all the qualities you want in a mate, and who you love, and who happens to love you back, and then you just happen to want exactly the same amount of sex and will always want the same amount of sex for the rest of your lives? Exactly - that's not likely at all. Desire Changes Over Time Even when a couple starts out wanting the same frequency of sex, one or both people's desire may change over time. In fact, desire typically declines with age. Your wife may have experienced a decrease in her desire as she transitioned into menopause. If that's the case, and if that bothers her, she might find it helpful to speak with her healthcare provider or with a sex therapist. Then again, you didn't say that her desire was any less than yours; you just said that she thought 3 to 4 times was higher than the norm. If she is indeed interested in having sex as often as you are, and if this is just a question of what's common for others, then try to enjoy yourselves without worrying too much about how often or how seldom other people have sex. Averages are just averages, and it always takes some people to bring down the average and other people to bring up the average. Maybe you two happen to be one of the couples that brings up the average. Learn More To learn more about what's common (and not) for other couples, you might find the book Sex in America to be of interest. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Relationships,,Love aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-ny-times/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-ny-times/#comments Tue, 27 Jan 2009 20:57:16 +0000 Natalie Ingraham (M.P.H.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=888 http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-ny-times/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/sexology-academic-path-sex-expertise/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sexology-academic-path-sex-expertise/#comments Mon, 26 Jan 2009 17:14:36 +0000 Natalie Ingraham (M.P.H.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=789 http://kinseyconfidential.org/sexology-academic-path-sex-expertise/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/penis-size-pregnancy/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/penis-size-pregnancy/#comments Mon, 19 Jan 2009 14:00:28 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=756 http://kinseyconfidential.org/penis-size-pregnancy/feed/ 1 3:16 While I am not aware of any research that has specifically investigated the relationship between a man's penis size and his partner's fertility, I can ... While I am not aware of any research that has specifically investigated the relationship between a man's penis size and his partner's fertility, I can tell say that many couples have successfully become pregnant even without any vaginal penetration at all, or with only one or two inches of the man's penis being inside the woman's vagina. That suggests that even a man whose penis is an inch or two long, when erect, should be able to achieve pregnancy with his partner if they are fertile as a couple. The reason that we have this information is that some women have significant problems with vaginal pain, or with feeling as though it is impossible for their partner to penetrate them, such as occurs with a condition called vaginismus. They may try for months or years to have vaginal intercourse. For many couples, sex therapy can help them to have comfortable, pleasurable vaginal intercourse. However, in rare cases, either the couple decides that it is not a goal for them to have intercourse or the woman finds that she remains unable to comfortably have vaginal penetration. In some of these instances, the couples may want to become pregnant. Since they aren't having vaginal intercourse, their sex therapist or doctor may advise them to have sex in such a way that the man ejaculates right at the entrance to the woman's vagina, and that they try to get some ejaculate in her vagina if possible, using their fingers. Other times, the couple finds that they can comfortably get the first inch or two of the man's penis inside the woman's vagina, and it may be in that position that the man ejaculates into his partner's vagina. Couples have indeed become pregnant this way. If you are concerned about penis size, you might find it helpful to seek out more information about the wide variability among men in terms of their penile length and circumference. Although we often hear about average lengths, with the average erect penis length being about 5 to 6 inches long, in fact penis size is highly variable. Some men have an erect length of 1, 2 or 3 inches long and others have an erect length of 8, 9, 10 or more inches long. These are on the extreme ends, of course, and most men are somewhere in the middle. You might also find it helpful to learn more about sexual technique and communication with a partner, two characteristics that have much more influence on sexual quality and pleasure than penis size. You can learn more about these topics in books such as A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis and The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex. Finally, if you have questions about your personal health or fertility, please check in with your healthcare provider. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/female-ejaculation/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/female-ejaculation/#comments Mon, 05 Jan 2009 14:00:54 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=491 http://kinseyconfidential.org/female-ejaculation/feed/ 1 2:57 Sex researchers still have a long way to go toward solving the mysteries of female ejaculation. In fact, we aren't even in complete agreement as ... Sex researchers still have a long way to go toward solving the mysteries of female ejaculation. In fact, we aren't even in complete agreement as to what to call it. Some researchers use the term "female ejaculation" with ease as a way to describe fluids that are emitted from a woman's urethra during sexual excitement or orgasm. Other researchers are not comfortable with the term "female ejaculation" and may point out that the fluid is not similar to men's ejaculate, and thus the comparison is not warranted. The jury is still out, too, on what exactly these fluids may be. Some chemical analyses suggest that the fluids are distinct from urine whereas other research suggests some similarities with urine, which may not be surprising given that the fluid does come out of a woman's urethra just like a man's semen comes out of his urethra. Not All or Nothing So while we still have much to learn in terms of what these fluids are composed of, chemically speaking, and what to call them, we do know that they are not an all or nothing experience. That is to say that the fact that your girlfriend experienced a female ejaculation-like event two times during your three years together is not unheard of. Some women say that they experience it regularly, others notice it sporadically - every now and then - and still others have never noticed a spurt of fluids coming from their urethra during sexual activity or orgasm. Differing Opinions In other words, this is not something that is under most women's control - though some certainly wish it were. Like other aspects of sexuality, female ejaculation is enjoyed and relished by some women and their partners while others feel neutral or even negative about it. Some find that it greatly contributes to their arousal and others can take it or leave it, or are perhaps curious about the experience. Further Reading To learn more about female ejaculation, check out The G Spot: And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Newspaper,Column,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No