http://kinseyconfidential.org Just another WordPress weblog Sat, 13 Mar 2010 17:03:39 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 2006-2007 aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) posts 1440 Just another WordPress weblog Kinsey Confidential Kinsey Confidential aschweig@indiana.edu No no http://kinseyconfidential.org/wp-content/themes/kinsey/images/kinsey-podcast-300.jpg http://kinseyconfidential.org 144 144 http://kinseyconfidential.org/premature-ejaculation-in-sex-is-it-because-i-masturbate/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/premature-ejaculation-in-sex-is-it-because-i-masturbate/#comments Mon, 08 Mar 2010 14:00:02 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1579 http://kinseyconfidential.org/premature-ejaculation-in-sex-is-it-because-i-masturbate/feed/ 0 3:31 Everyone Does It Most men and women have masturbated at some point in their lives whether during adolescence, adulthood, older age or throughout the lifespan. In ... Everyone Does It Most men and women have masturbated at some point in their lives whether during adolescence, adulthood, older age or throughout the lifespan. In fact, even research conducted with parents and teachers of young children shows that most young children touch their genitals for curiosity, to relieve an itch or because they like how it feels. Masturbation is generally regarded as a healthy form of sexual expression. Sperm Production Menrsquo;s bodies make sperm and the fluids that make up semen on an ongoing basis. Masturbating will not cause your body to stop producing sperm or semen. In case yoursquo;re curious, sperm only make up a small portion of the volume of semen. Much of a manrsquo;s seminal fluids come from his prostate gland and other glands called the cowperrsquo;s glands and seminal vesicles. Why We Do It There are many reasons that people masturbate including for fun, curiosity, to release sexual tension, to help themselves fall asleep or to enhance their desire or arousal. There are also different ways that people masturbate alone or with a sexual or romantic relationship partner. While many people touch their genitals, others find that they enjoy stimulating their chest or breasts, their inner thighs or their anus. Some people use their hands to masturbate and others find it pleasurable to use a sex toy, to rub their body against a bed or pillow or to stimulate themselves in the shower or bath. Masturbation Might Help Itrsquo;s also important to note that masturbation does not necessarily cause premature ejaculation or the experience of ejaculating more quickly than you or your wife might like. In fact, certain masturbation exercises might actually help you to learn to last longer during sexual intercourse. These exercises are called the stop-start technique and the squeeze technique. Essentially they involve stimulating yourself during masturbation, then just before the point when you are getting close to ejaculating you either stop all stimulation (for the stop-start technique) or gently squeeze the head of your penis (for the squeeze technique). This may help your arousal to decrease somewhat before you then start stimulating yourself again and repeat the process. Finally, I would encourage you to speak with your wife about her feelings about her sex life. It may be that she is happy with how long you spend having sex. More Information You can learn more about masturbation and partnered techniques to help you last longer during sex in The New Male Sexuality or Coping With Premature Ejaculation. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-delay-ejaculation-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-delay-ejaculation-sex/#comments Mon, 22 Feb 2010 14:00:49 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1488 http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-delay-ejaculation-sex/feed/ 1 3:22 Condoms to Elongate Intercourse Condoms that are marketed to help men last longer often contain a gel or a cream inside the condom that has benzocaine ... Condoms to Elongate Intercourse Condoms that are marketed to help men last longer often contain a gel or a cream inside the condom that has benzocaine as an active ingredient. Benzocaine works by slightly numbing or desensitizing the skin on a manrsquo;s penis. By reducing sensation during sex, condoms with benzocaine may help men to last longer by several minutes. For men who come more quickly than they or their partner would like, this can be very appealing. Health Warnings Most men are able to use condoms that contain benzocaine without experiencing any negative side effects. However, some men may be sensitive or allergic to benzocaine or to other ingredients used in the cream or gel thatrsquo;s inside the condom. In fact, some case reports describe men who have experienced redness, inflammation or other irritation ndash; sometimes quite severe - to their penis. Unfortunately, sensitive or allergic reactions may last a few days or even as long as a week or two. If a man continues to expose himself to something he is sensitive or allergic to, perhaps because he doesnrsquo;t realize what is causing the problem, he may make the problem even worse. If you or your partner use these types of condoms and notice redness, irritation, itching, inflammation or swelling after using them, then stop using them and ask your healthcare provider about it. If you try these types of condoms and find that you do not experience any negative reactions ndash; again, most men do not ndash; then they may be part of a useful short term strategy to help you last longer during sex. Long Term Solutions Of course, these types of condoms are often not a useful long term strategy. Masturbation exercises such as the stop-start and squeeze technique may be more helpful for men to learn to control the timing of their ejaculate over the long run. In addition, some men are helped by visualization exercises, by learning to relax during sex or to focus on their own physical sensations during sex.nbsp;Others find that with time and experience, they learn how to last longer all on their own. Less commonly, some men find that certain prescription medications ndash; specifically, some SSRI antidepressants ndash; may help them to last longer. Men who are interested in medication options should ask their healthcare provider for more information. More Information To learn more about how to last longer during sex, check out The New Male Sexuality or Coping With Premature Ejaculation: How to Overcome PE, Please Your Partner and Have Great Sex. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/boyfriends-penis-soft-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/boyfriends-penis-soft-sex/#comments Mon, 25 Jan 2010 14:00:00 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1361 http://kinseyconfidential.org/boyfriends-penis-soft-sex/feed/ 1 http://kinseyconfidential.org/stop-masturbating-premature-ejaculations-stop/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/stop-masturbating-premature-ejaculations-stop/#comments Mon, 28 Dec 2009 14:00:16 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1313 http://kinseyconfidential.org/stop-masturbating-premature-ejaculations-stop/feed/ 0 2:28 Yours is a wonderful question and by asking it, we will hopefully be able to help many men who have questions about premature ejaculation and ... Yours is a wonderful question and by asking it, we will hopefully be able to help many men who have questions about premature ejaculation and learning to control the timing of ejaculation. Everyone Does It Masturbation is an extremely common sexual activity ndash; most men and women have masturbated. This is particularly true for young men and women, for whom masturbation is quite common and an excellent choice for safer sex and for learning about onersquo;s own body. Speaking of which, masturbation can actually help men learn to control the timing of their ejaculation. In other words, by practicing very specific masturbation techniques, you may be able to get more in touch with your body so that you can stop yourself from ejaculating before yoursquo;re ready. It will likely take time and a good deal of practice, but this type of practice can be quite pleasurable! Masturbation Techniques Two techniques that are commonly used by men who would like to develop ejaculatory control are the stop-start technique and the squeeze technique. Here is how they work: Start by stimulating your body in the way that you usually do. As you build arousal, pay attention to your bodily sensations. Just before the point of no return ndash; when you will ejaculate no matter what happens ndash; stop all stimulation and let your arousal subside a little. Then start the stimulation again and repeat the cycle. This is the stop-start technique. The squeeze technique is similar except instead of stopping all stimulation, one can gently squeeze the head of onersquo;s penis and then let the arousal subside. Learn More More detailed instructions about these and other techniques for learning ejaculatory control are described in The New Male Sexuality. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/trouble-keeping-erection-condom/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/trouble-keeping-erection-condom/#comments Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:00:19 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1280 http://kinseyconfidential.org/trouble-keeping-erection-condom/feed/ 0 3:32 Although condoms typically donrsquo;t contribute to problems getting or keeping an erection, sometimes men find that they do. In these cases, it can be helpful ... Although condoms typically donrsquo;t contribute to problems getting or keeping an erection, sometimes men find that they do. In these cases, it can be helpful to strategize ways to have safer, more pleasurable sex. This generally means ways to help a man maintain his erection while wearing a condom so that he feels committed to using the condom the entire time he has sex. After all, if a man starts having sex without a condom and only later puts on a condom ndash; or if he does the reverse (starts having sex with a condom, then removes it and continues having sex without it) ndash; it can put him and his partner at risk for infection. Size and Fit of Condoms You might try sampling a variety of condoms to find one that feels most pleasurable for you and allows you to experience maximum sensation. Some men find that condoms with looser or baggier heads or shafts allow for more sensation and thus easier erections. Other times, the size of the condom is an issue. If standard sized condoms donrsquo;t fit you well, consider using a snugger fit condom or a larger sized condom depending on your size needs. Learn about or purchase condoms of different sizes at Condomania.com. Adding Lubrication Adding a small dab of lubricant on the inside of the condom, in the reservoir tip, can also help sex to feel more comfortable and pleasurable. Then, after the condom is rolled down your penis, you might also apply additional lube to the outside of the condom along your shaft. A warming sensation lubricant may help to increase the pleasurable sensations and thus make it easier to maintain your erection. Choosing Your Sexual Experiences You might also look beyond products and turn inward. Are you choosing partners or sexual situations that completely turn you on? If you are having sex with men you are only sort of attracted to, then the best condom in the world may not be sufficient to help you maintain your erection in the way you want. Sexual arousal has physical, emotional and mental components and you may find that it is particularly important for you to attend to getting yourself extremely interested or aroused by your partner or the sexual circumstances before deciding to have sex with them. Erectile Dysfunction Medications for ED are generally not recommended by healthcare providers for young, healthy men who do not actually have ED. If you believe that you may have ED, or if itrsquo;s been a while since you have had a healthcare visit, you might check in with a healthcare provider for a check-up or wellness visit. It is more common for erectile problems in young, healthy men to be caused by stress, performance anxiety or sub-optimal arousal rather than a medical condition. Although many web sites and emails advertise the availability of ED medications, many medications sold over the internet are not what they claim to be and may put peoplersquo;s health at risk. More Information To learn more about erectile function, check out The Sexual Male: Problems and Solutions. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-wetness-vagina/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-wetness-vagina/#comments Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:00:17 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1254 http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-wetness-vagina/feed/ 0 3:42 You both make good points about condoms and lubrication. Rather than focusing on who is right, letrsquo;s take a step back and talk about condoms, ... You both make good points about condoms and lubrication. Rather than focusing on who is right, letrsquo;s take a step back and talk about condoms, vaginal lubrication and store-bought lube. The Benefits of Using Condoms Using condoms ndash; as you pointed out ndash; can have significant benefits. Using a condom during sex can greatly reduce the risk of passing several but not all sexually transmissible infections (STI) including HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea and the human papillomavirus (HPV). Condoms also offer good protection against pregnancy as they prevent sperm and egg from meeting. But yoursquo;re right that as protective as condoms can be, they sometimes make sex feel more dry. After all, sexual intercourse involves a great deal of friction as your penis moves in and out of her body. nbsp;Over time, the lubricant that comes on many lubricated condoms may not feel as though it is quite enough. If the condom gets to dry, there may be an increased risk of the condom breaking. Affect on Lubrication That said, many women ndash; and young women in particular ndash; lubricate sufficiently for comfortable, pleasurable vaginal sex. nbsp;But that doesnrsquo;t mean that there are never times when adding a little store-bought lubricant to her genitals or to the outside of the condoms can help sex to feel better for one or both partners. Sometimes vaginal lubrication feels reduced if a woman is on a low estrogen birth control pill, if she is taking certain medications or if she has just taken a warm bath or shower, which may slightly dry the vagina. nbsp;Other times couples donrsquo;t spent a lot of time in foreplay, or they decide to have a quickie, which may not leave sufficient time for a woman to produce much natural vaginal lubrication. Also, sometimes sex lasts for quite a long time ndash; so long that most women would not keep lubricating in amounts sufficient for comfortable sex or to protect against condom breakage. Adding Extra Lubrication As such, no matter how well lubricated your girlfriend may feel, it may be a good idea to keep some water-based or silicone-based lubricant on hand. Then, if sex feels as though it is becoming dry and you are worried about condom breakage or just feel that lubricant would make sex more pleasurable, you can add a small dab of lubricant to either one of your genitals. There are a variety of lubricant types on the market. Some adult stores and web sites sell sampler packs of water and silicone based lubricants so that women and men can find a lubricant that they like the feel of and that they donrsquo;t find irritating. Also, if condom safety is your main concern, you can also keep a second condom on hand. That way, if the first condom appears to dry out, you can stop intercourse, remove the first condom, put a new condom on, and then resume intercourse. More Information To learn more about sexual play involving condoms and lubricants, check out my book, Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-fit-genital-size/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-fit-genital-size/#comments Mon, 03 Aug 2009 14:00:19 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=1108 http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-fit-genital-size/feed/ 0 3:31 Although many people joke about the size of penises and vaginas, people rarely talk about genital size in ways that are helpful or informative. As ... Although many people joke about the size of penises and vaginas, people rarely talk about genital size in ways that are helpful or informative. As such, it leaves many people wondering if their own or their partnerrsquo;s genital size is normal. Genital Fit When discussing how sex feels, I find it helpful to start by talking about ldquo;genital fitrdquo; rather than either partnerrsquo;s genital size, given that both partnerrsquo;s genital size affects the overall fit. It seems that sex feels different to you now and you have attributed this to your wife possibly having a bigger or wider vagina than she did when she was younger. Changes With Age Menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s bodies both experience changes with age, and it is possible that her vagina has not changed but your erections may be what has changed. It is common for men to experience less rigid or reliable erections with age, which can translate into a somewhat smaller erect penis size with age. If your erections are even slightly shorter or thinner than they used to be, it could cause vaginal intercourse to feel more ldquo;looserdquo; or ldquo;roomyrdquo; than it used to. Then again, you are not the only person who has been getting older. Your wife, too, is aging as we all are and her body also bore your family two children. Even though both children were both delivered by C-section rather than through vaginal birth, the experience of being pregnant can weaken womenrsquo;s pelvic floor muscles, as may other things such as heavy lifting or medical conditions. Over time, as a womanrsquo;s pelvic floor muscles weaken or relax, they can make the vaginal feel wider or looser than it once did. Often times, this is associated with symptoms such as mild, moderate or severe urinary or fecal incontinence ndash; in other words, feeling as though one has to urinate or defecate without meaning to. Questions of Trust and Fidelity Again, given how little we talk about genital size in helpful ways, it is understandable that you wondered how it is that sex now feels different. However, it may also be that your questions about her fidelity or sexual practices have made your wife feel bad about her body or as if you donrsquo;t trust her. Try to consider ways that you can express your love and respect for her, and how you can approach your aging and changing bodies in open and accepting ways. If your wife is experiencing symptoms related to incontinence, she might find it helpful to talk to a healthcare provider, such as a gynecologist. Recommended Reading You and your wife may also find it helpful to explore each otherrsquo;s bodies in ways you may not have done in months or years. A book such as For Each Other: Sharing Sexual Intimacy is packed with tips and techniques for exploration and re-connection. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/preejaculate-precum-pregnancy-risk/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/preejaculate-precum-pregnancy-risk/#comments Mon, 06 Apr 2009 14:00:20 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/qa-preejaculate-pregnancy/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/preejaculate-precum-pregnancy-risk/feed/ 0 2:54 Many people are curious about pre-ejaculate. After all, educational messages about pre-ejaculate tend to follow the line of thought that suggests men and women are ... Many people are curious about pre-ejaculate. After all, educational messages about pre-ejaculate tend to follow the line of thought that suggests men and women are ndash; as they say ndash; ldquo;better safe than sorry.rdquo; Pre-ejaculate is fluid that comes from a manrsquo;s Cowperrsquo;s glands, which are small glands inside a manrsquo;s body, by his penis. This fluid helps to lubricate a manrsquo;s urethra. In some men, this fluid is noticeable even when he is sexually aroused ndash; a little bit might come out of his urethra during sexual excitement. In other men, pre-ejaculate is not noticeable. Usually Not Possible Regardless, there are no sperm in the fluids made by the Cowperrsquo;s glands. As such, unless there were already sperm hanging out in the urethra that were then carried out by the Cowperrsquo;s glands fluids, it is usually not possible to get pregnant from contact with pre-ejaculate. However, that doesnrsquo;t mean that itrsquo;s safe to have sex without a condom. Though pre-ejaculate usually does not contain many, if any, sperm (depending on whether any sperm were already in the urethra from a previous ejaculate), it still counts as a sexual fluid and both menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s sexual fluids can pass sexually transmissible infections, or STIs. STI Risk By having unprotected sex with another guy, you put yourself at risk for STIs from him. As such, you might consider getting tested for STIs such as Chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis and HIV. Ask your healthcare provider about your risk for STIs and which tests would be recommended for you. If you have had oral, vaginal or anal sex with your boyfriend since having sex with the other guy, then you have also potentially put your boyfriend at risk for STIs. Talking to your boyfriend about cheating on him takes a good deal of courage, but it might be something yoursquo;ll want to consider. You might also want to examine the reasons why you cheated on your boyfriend and whether there are any lessons you can learn from the experience, including ways that you hope to grow closer to your boyfriend or whether your current relationship is one that you want to be in. Learn More To learn more about STIs, explore our STI sexual health resources pages or visit the web site of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy,,Special,,flagged,-,still,needs,some,edits aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/lambskin-condoms/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/lambskin-condoms/#comments Mon, 23 Mar 2009 14:00:38 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=905 http://kinseyconfidential.org/lambskin-condoms/feed/ 0 3:02 Latex condoms are, by far, the most commonly used condoms in most parts of the world. After all, even though their material is quite thin, ... Latex condoms are, by far, the most commonly used condoms in most parts of the world. After all, even though their material is quite thin, itrsquo;s actually quite strong. As a result, latex condoms have low rates of breakage and slippage. When used correctly and consistently during sexual activities, latex condoms can greatly reduce the risk of infection transmission and pregnancy. Even so, sometimes men and women are curious about other types of condoms or ways they can heighten their sensation during sex. Though latex condoms are made of thin material, many men say that they feel less sensation during sex with a condom compared to sex without a condom. Lambskin and other natural skin condoms are certainly one alternative to latex condoms. While it is true that some men experience more sensation during sex when using a natural skin condom, this benefit comes with a cost. Although natural skin condoms greatly reduce the risk of pregnancy, they do not provide protection against sexually transmissible infections, or STIs. Thatrsquo;s because the small pores in natural skin condoms are big enough to allow these infectious organisms through them, and transmit from one person to another. If preventing pregnancy is your only concern, then natural skin condoms may indeed be an option for you. However, you might want to make sure that you and your partner have been tested for STIs prior to switching condom types. Another option is to consider using polyurethane condoms, which ndash; like latex condoms ndash; can reduce the risk of both pregnancy and infection. These condoms are made of material that conducts heat better than latex does. As a result, some men find that sex feels warmer and more natural when they use polyurethane condoms as opposed to latex condoms. If yoursquo;re inclined to stick with latex condoms, however, there are other ways to heighten sensation. For example, you or your partner might rub a water-based or silicone-based lubricant over your condom-covered penis, or you might try using a vibrating sex toy ndash; such as a vibrating condom ring ndash; during sex, which can heighten sensation for both of you. To learn more about condoms and other birth control methods, explore our web site or the web site of Planned Parenthood. Birth,Control,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbation-guilt-health-problems/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbation-guilt-health-problems/#comments Thu, 08 Jan 2009 14:00:42 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=549 http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbation-guilt-health-problems/feed/ 0 2:59 In spite of doctors, researchers and educators best efforts to reassure women and men that masturbation is not harmful, many people still hear rumors about ... In spite of doctors, researchers and educators best efforts to reassure women and men that masturbation is not harmful, many people still hear rumors about the dangers of masturbation. Masturbation Is Not Harmful And yet the facts are clear - masturbation is not only common, but it is not harmful or dangerous to either men or women. Most men and women have masturbated at some point in their lives. That includes women and men of various ages, races, ethnicities, religions, sexual orientations and political ideologies. In fact, many men and women recall touching their genitals for pleasure even when they were children, something that many parents, teachers and pediatricians are well aware of. And yet many women and men were raised with the sense that touching their genitals for pleasure, relaxation or enjoyment was something bad, dirty, shameful or immoral. Positive Effects of Masturbation Rather than being harmful, recent research suggests that men's masturbation during early adulthood is associated with a decreased risk of prostate cancer as men age. Masturbation, like partner sex, can also help men and women to decrease stress. It may help to bolster our immune systems, to help people to feel happier or more relaxed, or to fall asleep more easily. For women, masturbation - again, just like sex with a partner - can help to keep their vaginal tissue moist and healthy. Masturbation can help promote blood flow to the genitals for both women and men which can help to oxygenate tissues around the genitals and reproductive organs. Masturbation can also help women and men to better understand their bodies and to help them learn what feels good. Self-pleasuring, as it is sometimes called, can also help men to learn to control the timing of their ejaculation. For women, self-pleasuring can help a woman learn to orgasm more easily. Learn More To learn more about masturbation - both its myths and its benefits - check out The Big Book of Masturbation by Martha Cornog. Women in particular may find the book Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving to be of interest, too. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/pimple-on-penis/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pimple-on-penis/#comments Thu, 01 Jan 2009 14:00:47 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=489 http://kinseyconfidential.org/pimple-on-penis/feed/ 1 2:58 I don't know if you have herpes or not, but I can tell you that it is extremely common for both men and women to ... I don't know if you have herpes or not, but I can tell you that it is extremely common for both men and women to have regular old pimples on or around their genitals. Not Necessarily An STI The genital skin, just like skin on the rest of one's body, can easily get clogged with dirt, sweat and oils and make pimples more likely to appear. That said, men and women tend to be more observant about their genitals when they start having sex, or in the days and weeks after they have unprotected sex, and they sometimes worry that lumps or bumps are signs of a sexually transmissible infection, or STI. Worth Checking With A Healthcare Provider Even though in many cases such symptoms are not signs of STIs, it is always worth checking in with one's healthcare provider if you have any doubts, questions or concerns about your genital or sexual health. Your healthcare provider can talk at greater length with you to learn more about your sexual behaviors and to help advise you on ways to reduce your risk, or when or how often you should get tested for STIs. Genital Herpes Genital herpes is a relatively common STI, with about 1 out of 5 Americans having it. Unlike Chlamydia and gonorrhea, there is no cure for genital herpes, although there are effective treatments available. Also, while condoms may reduce the risk of transmitting herpes, they cannot fully eliminate the risk, so all sexually active women and men should ask their healthcare providers about their risk for genital herpes, even if they use condoms when they have sex. Learn More To learn more about herpes and other STIs, visit our sexual health and STIs resource pages or the web sites of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention or Planned Parenthood. Content,Type,,Health,,Disease,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/girlfriend-no-feeling-during-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/girlfriend-no-feeling-during-sex/#comments Thu, 11 Dec 2008 14:00:11 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=441 ]]> http://kinseyconfidential.org/girlfriend-no-feeling-during-sex/feed/ 0 3:37 Women sometimes say that they don't feel anything during vaginal intercourse when what they mean is that they don't feel anything pleasurable or stimulating during ... Women sometimes say that they don't feel anything during vaginal intercourse when what they mean is that they don't feel anything pleasurable or stimulating during sex. Talk To Your Girlfriend These are two different issues and I would encourage you to talk with your girlfriend about your sexual experiences together at a time when you are not having sex or about to have sex. Try to find some time alone when you are both feeling relaxed and unlikely to be interrupted. Since she has already identified this as an issue that needs attention, you might say that you've given some thought to what she's said, that it's important to you as well and that you'd like to talk about it together. When you talk, try to clarify what she means when she says she can't feel anything at all during sex. If she cannot even feel that your penis is inside her vagina, then it may be helpful to keep a small towel near the bed and then dab some of the wetness from each of your genitals during breaks from sex. That's because as a woman becomes sexually aroused, her vagina lubricates naturally which can make sex more comfortable and pleasurable, as the lubrication decreases friction during sex. That said, if there is a large amount of lubrication, it can result in a woman not feeling her partner's penis inside her vagina. It isn't her fault or you fault; this just happens sometimes during sexual excitement. The same process of vaginal lubrication that serves to protect women's bodies by reducing friction can sometimes lessen sensation. Dabbing the outside part of her vaginal entrance and your penis with a towel, during little "breaks" from sex, can help to dry off some of the lubrication and heighten sensation for you both. If she gets extremely wet, she might even try inserting a small tampon for 10 or 20 seconds to soak up some of the lubrication, and she throw it out before resuming intercourse with you. Different Stimulation or Positions If she can feel your penis inside her vagina but feels as though she wants to feel more focused stimulation on certain parts of her vagina, then you two might benefit from talking about the types of thrusts or stimulation she desires. For example, would she like more stimulation on the front wall of her vagina, or closer to her cervix? Does she prefer sex that is more gentle or vigorous? Talking about each other's sexual preferences can be helpful and enhancing. She might even find that trying a woman-on-top position gives her the opportunity to rub against your body in ways that allow her to explore types of stimulation that feel most pleasurable to her. Try Sex Therapy If, however, addressing these issues related to lubrication, communication and techniques leave you both feeling as though the issue is not yet resolved, you might find it helpful to meet together with a sex therapist (find one at aasect.org) or for her to check in with her healthcare provider to rule out any medical issues. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-size-stretching-large-penis/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-size-stretching-large-penis/#comments Thu, 04 Dec 2008 14:00:45 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=437 http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-size-stretching-large-penis/feed/ 0 3:25 Given cultural messages that encourage women to have a vagina that is "tight" but not "too tight", some women wonder about the size of their ... Given cultural messages that encourage women to have a vagina that is "tight" but not "too tight", some women wonder about the size of their vagina - perhaps as much as some men worry about penis size. Vaginal Size And yet, vaginal size doesn't vary as much as people may think. Women's vaginas are relatively similar in size, with a difference of a centimeter or two here and there. And though having given birth is sometimes thought to significantly change a woman's vagina, research has not found significant differences between vaginal size of women who have given birth and those who have not, in most cases. There is no research, that I'm aware of, that has specifically looked at long-term vaginal changes following sex with a man who has a large penis - or, for that matter, sex with a vibrator or dildo of considerable size. That said, many sexual health professionals surmise that if vaginal size doesn't change much, if at all, after giving birth, it is unlikely to change much from sex with a well-endowed man. This is because the vagina is a fibromuscular tube and it tends to accommodate, and fit around, objects that penetrate it. For example, the vagina hugs closely around a man's penis, sex toy, fingers, tampon or medical instruments during a gynecological exam. And once stretched a bit, the vagina tends to return to its smaller state. The other important thing to know is that, during sex, the vagina expands naturally as part of a woman's experience of sexual arousal. As such, your ex's penis isn't the only thing that was helping to expand your vagina; during arousal, your vagina was likely expanding in both length and width - and then returning to a smaller size - all on its own. Different With A New Partner This is not to say that sex may not feel different with this partner. It might. You may find that sex feels difference due to his size, shape or technique. You may feel more or less sensation than before, or on certain parts of your vagina. Some differences - rather than being about size - may be related to experience. You were with your ex for years and had likely found preferred techniques or positions. It may take time, with your new partner, to explore and learn what works best for the two of you. If you find that you feel less sensation than you would like, consider keeping a small towel on hand to dab your or his genitals if you find that you feel very wet. Though vaginal lubrication can add to the pleasure and comfort of sex, sometimes by decreasing friction, it can decrease sensation too. Dabbing each other's genitals may help to heighten sensation for the both of you. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Relationships,,Love aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-warts-treatment-hpv-transmission/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-warts-treatment-hpv-transmission/#comments Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:00:57 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=434 http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-warts-treatment-hpv-transmission/feed/ 0 3:23 The human papillomavirus - referred to as HPV - has more than 100 strains. Some strains can cause genital warts, as you have. In many ... The human papillomavirus - referred to as HPV - has more than 100 strains. Some strains can cause genital warts, as you have. In many cases, the warts are visible, as has happened to you. Men who have genital warts may notice them on any part of their genitals including their penis, scrotum, anal area, or on the skin underneath their pubic hair. Women who have genital warts may notice them along their bikini line, vulva, anal area or on their mons pubis, which is the triangular area where pubic hair commonly grows Many May Not Even Notice Genital Warts In many cases, however, women and men who have genital warts may not even notice them. The warts themselves may look more like small pimples, or else they may be so small that they are not easily seen with the naked eye. Other strains of HPV do not cause warts, or are unlikely to cause warts, but they may be associated with an increased risk of cancers of the cervix, vulva, penis or anus. Please note that this does not mean that if you have HPV, that you will also get cancer. In fact, most people who HPV never get any of these types of cancers. It has been estimated that 60 to 80% of sexually active women and men will get HPV at some point in their lives, and yet most people's immune systems will clear the infection over time. HPV And Cancer Risk HPV can certainly increase a person's risk of these cancers, but the development of cancer is complex and a person's risk is influenced by a number of factors including their genes, their general health, and other lifestyle factors such as smoking, which can increase the risk of most cancers. Treatment Options In terms of treatment for genital warts, it varies. Many healthcare providers prefer a "wait and see" approach to genital warts, as they often go away on their own. Other times, healthcare providers may prescribe a topical treatment, which comes as a cream that women or men can apply to their warts in the privacy of their own home. Over time, the cream may help the warts to go away. Other treatments are available in-office that can help to clear warts, and you should ask your healthcare provider what treatment approach may be right for you. HPV Transmission As for transmission, it is indeed possible to pass the HPV strains to a partner even if you don't have visible warts. Because of this, it would be wise, caring and responsible of you to let past, present and future partners know about your HPV status. Condoms can reduce, but not completely prevent, HPV transmission. Learn More To learn more about HPV, visit the Kinsey Confidential STI Resource Pages or the web site of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Content,Type,,Health,,Disease,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnant-from-dry-semen/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnant-from-dry-semen/#comments Mon, 17 Nov 2008 14:00:38 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=421 http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnant-from-dry-semen/feed/ 2 2:59 Any time that a man's sperm get inside of a woman's vagina, and she is not using any effective methods of birth control, there is ... Any time that a man's sperm get inside of a woman's vagina, and she is not using any effective methods of birth control, there is a risk of pregnancy. I am not sure how adequately your boyfriend wiped the head of his penis after he ejaculated, so it is unclear whether he removed all of the semen. Plus, if there were any sperm still inside his urethra (the tube that carries urine and ejaculate out of a man's body), then the sperm could potentially have been picked up by pre-ejaculatory fluids moments later, and then gotten into your vagina when he inserted his penis. If there was any ejaculate on his penis, or about to come out of his penis, when he inserted it into you, then there is a risk of pregnancy if you were not using other methods of birth control at the time, such as the birth control pill, patch or ring. Home Pregnancy Test If you have concerns about being pregnant, you might take a home pregnancy test after enough time has passed, or you might check in with a healthcare provider for a pregnancy test and to learn more about safe and effective methods of birth control. I would also encourage you and your boyfriend to learn more about sexuality and pregnancy if you plan on being sexual together, and to learn about ways to prevent pregnancy. You can find information about contraception and sexual health on our contraception resource pages or on Planned Parenthood's web site. You can also learn more about sexuality through the book The Guide to Getting It On. Not Recommended In short, however, I would not recommend this practice for the future. If you do not want to get pregnant, then you and your boyfriend might consider using condoms for penetrative sex play like you recently engaged in. If you are not comfortable with any degree of pregnancy risk, then perhaps you two just re-evaluate your decision to have penetrative sex, or any type of sexual contact that might put you at risk for pregnancy or infection. Given that you both have now been in contact with each other's sexual fluids now, too, you should both consider getting tested for sexually transmissible infections, or STIs, which can be passed between two people even with just brief contact, as you two had. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-cuts-torn-frenulum/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-cuts-torn-frenulum/#comments Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:00:48 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=409 http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-cuts-torn-frenulum/feed/ 0 3:16 Whenever people are rough or forceful with their bodies, it is possible to have some risk - even slight - of damage or injury. In ... Whenever people are rough or forceful with their bodies, it is possible to have some risk - even slight - of damage or injury. In regard to sexual behavior such as masturbation and intercourse, most sex injuries are fairly minor such as small cuts or tears. For example, many women have had the experience of noticing slight bleeding from vaginal sex as a result of getting tiny cuts or tears in their vagina or vulva as a result of intense friction from sex. Men, too, may experience minor cuts or tears on their genitals from intense solitary masturbation, mutual masturbation, intercourse or other sexual activities. These cuts may be along any part of the genitals that are torn or stressed during sex, including the frenulum - which is on the underside of a man's penis, just below the glans. Both men and women can reduce their risk of genital cuts and tears from sex by using a personal lubricant during sexual activity. You and your partner may find that using a lubricant helps to make mutual masturbation feel more comfortable and pleasurable, while reducing the risk of tearing too. I'd also encourage you to talk to your partner and let him know that while you enjoy the way that he masturbates your penis, you sometimes feel some discomfort and worry that your frenulum will tear. You are the only one that can feel the discomfort, since it's your body, and it is important to give him this information so that he can be sexual in ways with you that are both enjoyable, sexy and as safe as can be . If you do develop a genital cut or tear, rest assured that most small genital cuts and tears heal within a day or two. If you develop any small cuts or tears, you may find that it is more comfortable to avoid or modify genital stimulation (such as masturbation) until the cut heals. Like cuts in other places on the body, it is important to keep genital cuts clean. If you develop cuts or tears that are larger, that are uncomfortable, painful, or that concern you, please always check in with your healthcare provider. Although sex injuries and complications are usually minor, sometimes they do require the attention of a trained healthcare provider and it is important to take care of your sexual health in this way. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No