http://kinseyconfidential.org Just another WordPress weblog Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:00:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 2006-2007 aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) posts 1440 Just another WordPress weblog Kinsey Confidential Kinsey Confidential aschweig@indiana.edu No no http://kinseyconfidential.org/wp-content/themes/kinsey/images/kinsey-podcast-300.jpg http://kinseyconfidential.org 144 144 http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-girlfriend-bleed-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-girlfriend-bleed-sex/#comments Thu, 28 Jan 2010 14:00:14 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1359 http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-girlfriend-bleed-sex/feed/ 1 3:08 Feeling the Friction Sexual intercourse involves friction between two peoplersquo;s bodies. Just the right amount of friction can contribute to menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s physical pleasure during ... Feeling the Friction Sexual intercourse involves friction between two peoplersquo;s bodies. Just the right amount of friction can contribute to menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s physical pleasure during sex. The friction of sexual stimulation on a manrsquo;s penis or against a womanrsquo;s vulva or vagina can even help men and women have orgasms. Too much friction, though, and sex may feel uncomfortable or painful. Too little friction and it may not feel like much of anything is happening during intercourse. Condoms' Contributions Wearing a condom can add to the friction during sex. Sometimes this added friction is a welcome sensation; other times, it is not. It may be that the condom adds a little too much friction for you and your girlfriend ndash; but that doesnrsquo;t mean that you have to give up wearing condoms. After all, condoms are a highly effective means of reducing the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmissible infections, or STIs. Sex Solutions Perhaps you and your girlfriend already have a tight genital fit and the condom provides a bit too much friction. Or maybe sexual intercourse starts out all right with the condom on but it lasts so long or is vigorous in a way that the lubricant on the condom eventually dries up, leaving you with a dry condom and more friction than feels pleasurable. If this is the case, then sex may feel dry and your girlfriend may be more prone to small vaginal tears, which can result in small amounts of bleeding during or after sex. Most women will experience small vaginal cuts or tears at some point in their lives; usually they are not painful and will heal within a few days. To prevent vaginal cuts or bleeding, however, try adding extra water-based lubricant or silicone-based lubricant to the condom after it is already on your penis. You may find that by adding lubricant, sex feels more comfortable and pleasurable and your girlfriend may be less likely to bleed during or after sex. If sex goes on for a long time or is particularly rough or vigorous, make sure to add more lubricant as needed. More Information You can learn more about different types of lubricants, how to use them and how lubricants can contribute to more pleasurable sex in my book, Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/bad-long-masturbating/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/bad-long-masturbating/#comments Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:00:06 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1319 http://kinseyconfidential.org/bad-long-masturbating/feed/ 0 2:47 Different Experiences Men, like women, vary in terms of how they experience sexual arousal and orgasm. It is not unusual for men to describe feeling more ... Different Experiences Men, like women, vary in terms of how they experience sexual arousal and orgasm. It is not unusual for men to describe feeling more or less aroused, or more or less easily orgasmic, in response to different sexual behaviors or experiences. For example, some men find it easier to orgasm from intercourse than oral sex. Others find that itrsquo;s easier for them to orgasm, or quicker for them to orgasm, from masturbation than from vaginal or anal sex. So, it varies. Trying New Things Watching porn can be highly arousing to some men. If it helps you to feel very excited or aroused and you enjoy its role in your masturbation, that is not necessarily a bad thing. However, if you would like to try to enhance your arousal during masturbation in other ways, there are plenty of options. For example, you might try texting with a partner, trying different hand positions, using lubricant or no lubricant, fantasizing or trying sex toys such as the Fleshlight or a masturbation sleeve. What's the Reason Irsquo;d also like to ask you to consider whether you are lasting as long as 30 or 40 minutes without porn because you want to or because you canrsquo;t come sooner even if you try. If yoursquo;re taking your time and lasting longer to enjoy the sensations, then more power to you! If you find that you are unable to come sooner as much as you try, then expanding your masturbation routine, as described earlier, might help your body adapt to different types of stimulation. Even if you cannot come sooner, try to not let that trouble you. Masturbation is not the same as partnered sex and you may find that during sex with a partner, your experience of ejaculation and orgasm are quite different. More Information To learn more about ejaculation and learning to control the timing of your orgasm, check out The New Male Sexuality. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-bleed-lot/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-bleed-lot/#comments Mon, 11 Jan 2010 14:00:40 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1318 http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-bleed-lot/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/girlfriends-vagina-dry-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/girlfriends-vagina-dry-sex/#comments Thu, 17 Dec 2009 14:00:40 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1311 http://kinseyconfidential.org/girlfriends-vagina-dry-sex/feed/ 1 http://kinseyconfidential.org/trouble-keeping-erection-condom/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/trouble-keeping-erection-condom/#comments Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:00:19 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1280 http://kinseyconfidential.org/trouble-keeping-erection-condom/feed/ 0 3:32 Although condoms typically donrsquo;t contribute to problems getting or keeping an erection, sometimes men find that they do. In these cases, it can be helpful ... Although condoms typically donrsquo;t contribute to problems getting or keeping an erection, sometimes men find that they do. In these cases, it can be helpful to strategize ways to have safer, more pleasurable sex. This generally means ways to help a man maintain his erection while wearing a condom so that he feels committed to using the condom the entire time he has sex. After all, if a man starts having sex without a condom and only later puts on a condom ndash; or if he does the reverse (starts having sex with a condom, then removes it and continues having sex without it) ndash; it can put him and his partner at risk for infection. Size and Fit of Condoms You might try sampling a variety of condoms to find one that feels most pleasurable for you and allows you to experience maximum sensation. Some men find that condoms with looser or baggier heads or shafts allow for more sensation and thus easier erections. Other times, the size of the condom is an issue. If standard sized condoms donrsquo;t fit you well, consider using a snugger fit condom or a larger sized condom depending on your size needs. Learn about or purchase condoms of different sizes at Condomania.com. Adding Lubrication Adding a small dab of lubricant on the inside of the condom, in the reservoir tip, can also help sex to feel more comfortable and pleasurable. Then, after the condom is rolled down your penis, you might also apply additional lube to the outside of the condom along your shaft. A warming sensation lubricant may help to increase the pleasurable sensations and thus make it easier to maintain your erection. Choosing Your Sexual Experiences You might also look beyond products and turn inward. Are you choosing partners or sexual situations that completely turn you on? If you are having sex with men you are only sort of attracted to, then the best condom in the world may not be sufficient to help you maintain your erection in the way you want. Sexual arousal has physical, emotional and mental components and you may find that it is particularly important for you to attend to getting yourself extremely interested or aroused by your partner or the sexual circumstances before deciding to have sex with them. Erectile Dysfunction Medications for ED are generally not recommended by healthcare providers for young, healthy men who do not actually have ED. If you believe that you may have ED, or if itrsquo;s been a while since you have had a healthcare visit, you might check in with a healthcare provider for a check-up or wellness visit. It is more common for erectile problems in young, healthy men to be caused by stress, performance anxiety or sub-optimal arousal rather than a medical condition. Although many web sites and emails advertise the availability of ED medications, many medications sold over the internet are not what they claim to be and may put peoplersquo;s health at risk. More Information To learn more about erectile function, check out The Sexual Male: Problems and Solutions. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/break-before-second-round-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/break-before-second-round-sex/#comments Thu, 22 Oct 2009 13:00:32 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1242 http://kinseyconfidential.org/break-before-second-round-sex/feed/ 0 2:31 As long as two people are feeling comfortable and ready to have a second round of sex, there is no need for them to wait ... As long as two people are feeling comfortable and ready to have a second round of sex, there is no need for them to wait any certain length of time before they have sex again. If your partnerrsquo;s body feels tender, sore or irritated then you may want to delay having sex until another day when she or he is feeling more comfortable, ready and interested in having sex again. That said, if your partner wants to jump back into a second round of sex only moments after the first time that you two had sex, thatrsquo;s okay too. Erections Can Stay Firm When men are younger, such as in their teens and twenties, they are often able to get an erection that is firm enough for intercourse even minutes after they have sex. On occasion, they may not even become soft again after they first ejaculate ndash; they may maintain some level of hardness for several minutes or longer and continue having sex. Again, if you and your partner are able to have sex a second or third time in a short period of time, and you both want to, then there is no reason that you have to wait. Tools of the Trade If you use condoms to reduce your risk of pregnancy or infection, make sure to have multiple condoms on hand in case you decide to have sex more than once. If sex lasts for a long time or you anticipate having sex more than once, you may want to keep a bottle of lubricant on hand to help make sex more comfortable and pleasurable for your and your partner. Find Out More Sex can be enormously fun and it can be exciting to have sex more than once in a short period of time. Some couples feel as though they cannot get enough of each other and the chance to re-connect physically can feel very pleasurable. To learn more about sexual pleasure, choosing lubricants and sex techniques, check out Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/anal-sex-cleanliness-pain/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/anal-sex-cleanliness-pain/#comments Mon, 07 Sep 2009 14:00:32 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=1181 http://kinseyconfidential.org/anal-sex-cleanliness-pain/feed/ 0 3:00 Although many women and men engage in anal sex, it is still considered a taboo topic in many social circles. As a result, people rarely ... Although many women and men engage in anal sex, it is still considered a taboo topic in many social circles. As a result, people rarely talk to each other about anal sex, which can leave many people feeling confused or uncertain about how to try this particular sexual behavior about which they may feel curious. Because anal sex involves the rectum, some people ndash; like you ndash; have concerns about cleanliness. You may want to take your time to ease into anal play so that you can become more comfortable sharing this part of your body with your boyfriend and making sure that you both feel comfortable with what you are doing. Many couples, for example, experiment with using their fingers for anal play before ever trying anal sex, involving a manrsquo;s penis. By starting with finger penetration, you can take the time to become comfortable not only with the feelings and sensations related to anal penetration, but you can also explore issues related to cleanliness. Cleanliness Often, people find that it is enough to take a shower before having anal sex or to gently dab their anal area with a soft, wet cloth. Other people feel more comfortable using an enema before they have anal sex. This involves inserting fluids into the anus in order to expel feces from the body. Enemas can often be purchased from local drug stores or on the internet. If you decide to experiment with anal fingering first, consider putting a lubricated condom on over your own or your partnerrsquo;s finger before inserting it into your or his anus. Many people find that it is more comfortable if they add additional water-based or silicone-based lubricant to their condom covered finger. As you become more comfortable with anal fingering, you may feel more comfortable trying anal play using sex toys or anal sex involving your partnerrsquo;s penis. Learning More Itrsquo;s important to know that anal sex should not be painful. If it is painful, you should stop. You can also try it again later that day, on another day or not at all depending on your interests and those of your partner. To learn more about safer, pleasurable anal play, check out Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/glass-pyrex-sex-toys-safe/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/glass-pyrex-sex-toys-safe/#comments Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:00:20 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=1091 http://kinseyconfidential.org/glass-pyrex-sex-toys-safe/feed/ 1 2:41 Even though research suggests that more than half of women and nearly half of men have used vibrators, there has been strikingly little research related ... Even though research suggests that more than half of women and nearly half of men have used vibrators, there has been strikingly little research related to the toxicity of sex toy materials. However, the little that we do know about sex toy materials suggests that toys made of glass, medical grade silicone or hard plastics are likely among the least toxic. Keep in mind that even the toys that are thought to be made with more toxic materials, such as many Jelly toys, are unlikely to cause any significant or long term harm under normal use conditions. Consider Using A Condom If you are very concerned about sex toy materials, consider putting a condom over any sex toy that you put into your body. That way, the condom can act as a barrier between your body and the sex toy. You should still plan to clean your toy before and after using it. One study related to sex toy materials suggested that a water based lubricant may be safer to use with sex toy materials compared to oil based lubricants, as oil based products may cause a greater release of chemicals from the more toxic sex toy materials. Know Where The Toy Came From Also, if you want more information about sex toy materials, you might consider purchasing toys that are manufactured in countries that have strict standards about chemical processing. It may take more time to learn where your favorite sex toys are manufactured but if this issue is important to you, it may give you more peace of mind. Recommended Reading You can learn more about how to shop for sex toys, types of lubricants to use with sex toys, and sex toy materials in my new book Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction, which also has tips for how to use sex toys alone or with a partner. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-itching-burning-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-itching-burning-sex/#comments Thu, 09 Apr 2009 14:00:28 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/qa-genital-itching-burning-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-itching-burning-sex/feed/ 0 2:29 Womenrsquo;s genitals are quite sensitive; as a result, itrsquo;s not uncommon for women to occasionally notice genital itching or burning. Depending on the details of this ... Womenrsquo;s genitals are quite sensitive; as a result, itrsquo;s not uncommon for women to occasionally notice genital itching or burning. Depending on the details of this sexual encounter, you may have experienced vaginal burning for any number of reasons. Condoms and Lubricants Some condoms, for example, contribute to vaginal burning or irritation. Nonoxynol-9 is an ingredient that is used in the lubricant of spermicidal condoms ndash; which some men and women use in hopes of further reducing their risk of pregnancy ndash; and yet this chemical can sometimes contribute to genital irritation. If you used a lubricated condom or if you added lubricant during sex, it may be that the lubricant contained other ingredients that your body is sensitive too. Sexually Transmissible Infections (STIs) You also might check in with your healthcare provider, as some sexually transmissible infections ndash; or STIs ndash; can cause vaginal burning. You didnrsquo;t mention how soon after having sex you experienced vaginal burning, but some STI symptoms may show up within days or a week or two after infection. Other STIs have few, if any, symptoms. Friction Vaginal burning can also be sparked by the friction involved in sex. If the sex you had was particularly rough or vigorous, then the act itself may have irritated your sensitive vaginal or vulvar tissues. That happens! However, if vaginal burning continues for several days, if it worsens or is associated with pain, or if you simply have questions about it, please check in with your healthcare provider. Learn More You can learn more about vaginal and vulvar health by reading The V Book: A Doctorrsquo;s Guide to Complete Vulvovaginal Health by Dr. Elizabeth Stewart. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast,,Special,,flagged,-,still,needs,some,edits aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/vibrator-pain/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vibrator-pain/#comments Mon, 16 Mar 2009 14:00:27 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=882 http://kinseyconfidential.org/vibrator-pain/feed/ 0 2:53 There are numerous causes of pain during intercourse and this is definitely something that you should ask your healthcare provider about if the pain or ... There are numerous causes of pain during intercourse and this is definitely something that you should ask your healthcare provider about if the pain or discomfort continue, or if it bothers you. Vibrators are commonly used by women and men, and they are rarely associated with negative side effects such as discomfort, pain or injury. Negative Side Effects That said, vaginal sex, anal sex and masturbation ndash; with or without a vibrator ndash; can all result in negative side effects such as genital itching, burning, irritation or tearing. Mostly a personrsquo;s risk of such side effects depends not only on how they are having sex, but also what their personal health status is like. For example, some women find that they are particularly prone to tearing if they have certain genital skin disorders or if their genital skin is thin, as occurs during times of low estrogen, such as menopause. Vaginal Tears If you have accidentally caused tears in your vagina, they will likely heal on their own within a matter of days, provided you donrsquo;t keep irritating them through partnered sex or masturbation. Once vaginal tears are healed, however, women can usually return to their usual preferred sexual behaviors. The risk of getting small vaginal tears, often called micro-tears, can be reduced by spending more time enhancing your arousal before starting penetration, or by using a store-bought lubricant for masturbation or partner sex. That said, it could also just be a coincidence that you experienced pain around the time that you used a vibrator and then had sex. There are many different reasons why a woman might experience discomfort or pain, including medical conditions, and Irsquo;d encourage you to check in with your healthcare provider. Annual pelvic exams are recommended for all women who are sexually active or who are at least 18 years old, whichever comes first. Learn More To learn more about womenrsquo;s sexual health issues, check out Our Bodies, Ourselves: A New Edition for a New Era. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/having-trouble-ejaculating-during-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/having-trouble-ejaculating-during-sex/#comments Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:00:34 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=473 http://kinseyconfidential.org/having-trouble-ejaculating-during-sex/feed/ 0 3:34 You've hit on an issue that many young men experience when they are new to sex - the issue of not ejaculating during vaginal intercourse. We ... You've hit on an issue that many young men experience when they are new to sex - the issue of not ejaculating during vaginal intercourse. We don't know how common it is for men who are new to sex to find it difficult to ejaculate, however this does often improve over time and with experience, so it is likely that your body will soon respond in this way to sex. Vaginal Intercourse Feels Different Than Masturbation A common reason this may happen is that vaginal intercourse feels significantly different for a man compared to masturbation. Sometimes men find that it takes their bodies some time to get used to responding to vaginal stimulation. Some men find that it helps them to begin varying their masturbation routine as a way of teaching their bodies to respond to different types of stimulation. For example, you might try using a good deal of lubricant during masturbation and then another time not using much lubricant at all. Experimenting with different hand positions, or different intensities of touch, or rhythms, may be helpful too. Consider Masturbating With A Condom If you are using a condom with your girlfriend, then you might even try masturbating with a condom on your penis. Condoms add a whole new element to how sex feels and you might find it helpful to get used to the feel of a condom on your penis in this way. If the condom is too loose or too tight on your penis, consider looking for a snugger sized condom or a larger sized condom so that it feels comfortable and secure on your penis. Try Using A Lubricant You might also try using a lubricant during sex, which can contribute to more comfortable, pleasure sex for women and men. This is particularly true if you two are using condoms. To use a lubricant, add a small dab - about the size of a dime - to the outside of the condom, after it is already on your penis. Using a lubricant with a condom can help to reduce friction, which not only makes for more pleasurable sex but can also reduce the risk of condom breakage. Anxieties Getting In The Way? Aside from the physical aspects of sex, psychological aspects are important too. You might consider whether any anxieties might be getting in the way of your ejaculation. To what extent are you concerned about pregnancy or infection risk? If you're concerned about either, what steps have you two taken to reduce your risk? Also, how are you feeling in terms of your readiness to have sex, and your comfort and ability to relax with each other? These feelings important to many men's and women's ability to enjoy sex in a pleasurable way, and to experience orgasm. Consider, too, whether you are putting pressure on yourself or feeling stressed about needing to perform a certain way in order to please your girlfriend or be a good lover. These stressors get in the way of pleasure and orgasm for men, at times. Further Reading To learn more about ways to improve your sexual experiences and relationship issues, consider reading The New Male Sexuality by Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/vagina-hurts-burns-pain-after-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vagina-hurts-burns-pain-after-sex/#comments Thu, 13 Nov 2008 14:00:58 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=418 http://kinseyconfidential.org/vagina-hurts-burns-pain-after-sex/feed/ 0 3:32 Although many women experience vaginal itching and burning at some point in their lives, it is always worth looking into. In some cases, vaginal itching and ... Although many women experience vaginal itching and burning at some point in their lives, it is always worth looking into. In some cases, vaginal itching and burning can be a sign of a sexually transmissible infection, also called an STI, so it is important to check in with a healthcare provider to rule out this possibility even if you feel as though there is little to no risk of that possibility. Possible Causes Other times, women experience vaginal itching or burning in response to chemicals or materials that they are sensitive to. For example, some women find that they experience vaginal irritation in response to certain lubricants or condoms, but not others. If you and your boyfriend are using lubricated condoms, then you might try to use a non-lubricated condom and add some of your own lubricant, such as one that is hypoallergenic or unlikely to cause irritation. The brand Good Clean Love, for example, is made without some of the common irritants found in certain popular brands of lubricants. Another lubricant that has been formulated to reduce the risk of irritation is called Pink. Although uncommon, some women are allergic or hypersensitive to men's semen. Some of these women have always been allergic or hypersensitive to semen, whereas other women develop an allergy or hypersensitivity over time, and may experience itching, burning, redness or other irritant reactions after they are exposed to semen, such as during intercourse. In rare cases, women may experience more severe reactions that require a visit to the emergency room. Check In With A Healthcare Provider For all of these reasons, it is important to check in with a healthcare provider when one experiences persistent vaginal irritation. Regular gynecological exams are recommended for women who are sexually active, anyway, and are particularly encouraged when vaginal symptoms are present. You can learn more about sexual and reproductive health needs of women, as well as locate a health care clinic near you if needed, from Planned Parenthood. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/dry-vagina-during-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/dry-vagina-during-sex/#comments Thu, 19 Jun 2008 21:06:47 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/06/19/qa-vagina-gets-dry-during-intercourse/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/dry-vagina-during-sex/feed/ 0 3:18 Womenrsquo;s bodies vary in their degrees of wetness and dryness during sexual activity. Vaginal Lubrication Generally speaking, womenrsquo;s vaginas tend to become more wet thanks to natural ... Womenrsquo;s bodies vary in their degrees of wetness and dryness during sexual activity. Vaginal Lubrication Generally speaking, womenrsquo;s vaginas tend to become more wet thanks to natural vaginal lubrication when they are feeling relaxed, comfortable and sexually aroused. As a result, a woman may find that she becomes more wet during foreplay and engaging in sex play that feels good, pleasurable and arousing to her. Talking About Sex I wonder if the two of you are able to talk about sex and share what feels good to each of you. If not, you both may find it helpful, and find that it enhances your sexual intimacy to talk to each other about your likes and dislikes. It is also important to talk about sex in ways that make sure you both want to be sexual with each other in this way, and that you both are feeling emotionally and physically comfortable with your choice to have sex with each other. Sometimes women and men are worried that if they donrsquo;t have sex with their partner, that their partner will become mad or want to break up with them. Are you sure that your girlfriend feels comfortable about her decision to have sex with you in this way? Birth Control, Lubricant and Condoms What about birth control? You mentioned that you are using condoms, so I am guessing that you two do not want to become pregnant right now. However, you also mentioned that sometimes the condom is damaged because the friction is high with sex. You feel like this is because her vagina is dry ndash; and that may be true. But it is also true that condoms themselves can make sex feel more dry ndash; even when a womanrsquo;s vagina is fairly wet. Although you add water-based lubricant, many people find that because water-based lubricant absorbs quickly into the body that they need to reapply if often, especially if sex goes on for a long time. Perhaps using a silicone-based lubricant, which tends to last longer, would be helpful for making sex more comfortable and pleasurable, and reducing the risk of condom damage. I mention this too because if your girlfriend is worried about becoming pregnant, she may not feel very relaxed or comfortable and this can impair her ability to lubricate. In short, please consider talking more with each other about your feelings about being sexual with each other, about what feels good and what doesnrsquo;t, as well as consider talking about birth control and perhaps using a lubricant that lasts longer during sex. Comfortable, pleasurable sex is usually possible, but it takes communication between two partners. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Newspaper,Column aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-during-period-increased-bleeding/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-during-period-increased-bleeding/#comments Mon, 16 Jun 2008 21:17:07 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/07/25/qa-sex-during-your-period-and-increased-bleeding/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-during-period-increased-bleeding/feed/ 0 2:46 No, although it may seem like it. Herersquo;s why: Menstruation occurs when a woman's body breaks down and releases parts of the endometrial lining ndash; which ... No, although it may seem like it. Herersquo;s why: Menstruation occurs when a woman's body breaks down and releases parts of the endometrial lining ndash; which is the lining of a womanrsquo;s uterus - that has built up during the previous weeks. This includes both blood and tissue. Since that is what is being released, sexual activity won't "create" any new tissue to be released and it therefore won't make a woman bleed more during those few days of her period. Blood Or Tissue Released All At Once That said, various factors related to sexual activity that a woman experiences by herself or with a partner may cause more blood or tissue to be released all at once, or may give her the perception that her period is heavier than usual (even if it really isn't). For example, sexual activity that is arousing or orgasmic and therefore involves contractions of a woman's uterus may cause more menstrual blood or tissue release at once. Sexual activity that includes penile thrusting close to the cervix (which is the opening to the uterus) might cause more menstrual blood or tissue to release at that time as well. Some women can feel this pressure on their cervix and may find it pleasurable, whereas others feel that it is painful. Other Fluids Involved In Sex In addition, the fluids that are involved in sex can be tinged with blood as it flows out of a woman's body. These fluids include vaginal lubrication, store-bought lubricant, the lubricant from a condom, semen if no condom was used, and such. That might make it look as though a woman is having a heavier period, even though she isn't really bleeding any more than usual. Relief of Menstrual Cramping On the plus side, women sometimes find that sexual activity, either during self-masturbation or with a partner, can help to relieve menstrual cramping. The bottom line is that the total amount of blood/tissue over several days isn't changing, but some women might find the timing or appearance of one's bleeding makes it seem as though that's the case. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/vagina-sensitive-after-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vagina-sensitive-after-orgasm/#comments Thu, 22 May 2008 13:00:43 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/05/22/qa-my-girlfriends-vagina-becomes-sensitive-after-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vagina-sensitive-after-orgasm/feed/ 0 2:57 Although not all women become very sensitive after orgasm, some do. Some women find that their clitoris becomes extremely sensitive following orgasm, or else their ... Although not all women become very sensitive after orgasm, some do. Some women find that their clitoris becomes extremely sensitive following orgasm, or else their vagina or other parts of their vulva may become sensitive. Sexual excitement and orgasm are full of different bodily changes and these sensations can change from the excitement phase to the orgasm and post-orgasm phase. Talk To Your Girlfriend If your girlfriend finds that she is very sensitive, perhaps you two can talk and find different ways of having sex that you both find enjoyable. Perhaps sometimes you can have sex the way that you often do now, and if she is too sensitive to go on, you can stop with intercourse and continue on to something else. Other times you might try other means of pleasure. Perhaps sometimes you could have an orgasm first and then perform oral sex on her, or stimulate her with your fingers or in other ways that feel good to her. Alternatively, she could have an orgasm through intercourse, you could move on to kissing and cuddling and other forms of sex play for several minutes, and then try intercourse again after a longer period of time. You may even try adding lubricant prior to entering her again. Thatrsquo;s because when a woman is very aroused, her lubrication often continues to build. But after orgasm, many women do not continue to produce much lubrication, if any at all. Adding some store-bought lubricant may help to make sex more comfortable and pleasurable for her. Not Necessarily A Cause For Concern Again, though not all women share this experience, some do, and so in and of itself it is not necessarily a reason to think that something may be wrong. However, if you or your girlfriend would like to ask a healthcare provider about this, we would strongly encourage you to do so ndash; especially because it is related to pain and discomfort for her, and it may feel reassuring or be important for her to mention this to her healthcare provider. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-tearing-healing-time/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-tearing-healing-time/#comments Mon, 24 Mar 2008 13:32:48 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2008/03/24/qa-vaginal-tearing/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-tearing-healing-time/feed/ 0