http://kinseyconfidential.org Just another WordPress weblog Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:00:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 2006-2007 aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) posts 1440 Just another WordPress weblog Kinsey Confidential Kinsey Confidential aschweig@indiana.edu No no http://kinseyconfidential.org/wp-content/themes/kinsey/images/kinsey-podcast-300.jpg http://kinseyconfidential.org 144 144 http://kinseyconfidential.org/experienced-orgasm-suggest/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/experienced-orgasm-suggest/#comments Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:00:33 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1582 http://kinseyconfidential.org/experienced-orgasm-suggest/feed/ 0 3:38 A Common Problem Many women struggle with trying to learn to have an orgasm. Often, even very well educated women who feel comfortable with their own ... A Common Problem Many women struggle with trying to learn to have an orgasm. Often, even very well educated women who feel comfortable with their own bodies, open to their experience, and positive about sex still find it difficult to orgasm. Yoursquo;re certainly not alone in your experience. With time, patience and practice, most women are able to learn to orgasm so the chances that you will, too, are certainly in your favor. There are many different reasons why women take time to learn to orgasm. As much as you may have already learned about anatomy, you might find that there is more to learn that would be helpful. Know Your Anatomy Many medical texts, including their anatomical illustrations, do not accurately depict the clitoris. In fact, many donrsquo;t even show that the clitoris is larger than the frac14; to frac12; an inch of tissue that can be seen from the outside of a womanrsquo;s body. The clitoris extends backward into the body in two branches that may be stimulated from vaginal sex or other types of stimulation. This knowledge alone may give you different ideas for how to approach your body with stimulation. Also, newer research suggests that the clitoris, vagina and urethra are more interconnected than previously thought. The movement or stimulation of one may change the way that other parts of a womanrsquo;s genital or urinary tract feel. In addition, scientists are uncovering new information about different nerve pathways that may be linked to female orgasm and learning about these, such as from the book The Science of Orgasm, may be informative. Playing the Brain Game As helpful as information and education can be, so is the psychological process. You may find that spending time becoming highly aroused ndash; such as through touch or fantasy - helps you to experience greater pleasure during sex and may eventually help you learn to orgasm. Some women are easily distracted during sex - thinking about work, school, laundry, dinner, relationship issues or family ndash; and these distractions can make it difficult to relax, to let go and to focus on onersquo;s own arousal. Other times women donrsquo;t feel the type of intimacy or psychological excitement in their relationship that they find best helps them to experience pleasure or orgasm. Then there are situations in which women put so much pressure on themselves to orgasm that the pressure, stress and anxiety make it more difficult to orgasm. More Information If you are interested in learning more about orgasm, you may find it helpful to read Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women or Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/clitoris/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/clitoris/#comments Wed, 24 Sep 2008 10:49:08 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/09/24/curious-about-the-clitoris/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/clitoris/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/persistent-sexual-arousal-syndrome/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/persistent-sexual-arousal-syndrome/#comments Tue, 02 Sep 2008 10:26:10 +0000 Samantha Seeger http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/09/02/200-orgasms-per-day/ three and a half minutes. Can you imagine??]]> http://kinseyconfidential.org/persistent-sexual-arousal-syndrome/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/possible-to-delay-female-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/possible-to-delay-female-orgasm/#comments Thu, 03 Jul 2008 15:58:19 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/07/03/qa-is-it-possible-to-delay-female-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/possible-to-delay-female-orgasm/feed/ 0 3:16 Men, far more often than women, find that they orgasm more quickly than they would like; as a result, we have more research and anecdotes ... Men, far more often than women, find that they orgasm more quickly than they would like; as a result, we have more research and anecdotes related to techniques and medications that work to help men delay their ejaculation, and little science-based information about effective techniques for helping women to delay their experience of orgasm. Anti-Depressants of Other Medications Although some medications (such as certain anti-depressants) are occasionally prescribed for men to delay their ejaculation they are not really considered a "first line" treatment for men as, often, couples would like to find non-medical means of improving their sexuality (and anti-depressants, like most medications, can cause negative side effects). It is unclear if women would be helped by using anti-depressants or other medications in this way, though a common side effect of antidepressants (especially those impacting the serotonin neurotransmitters), is delayed orgasm. Explore Other Sexual Behaviors If your girlfriend wants to be sexual for some time without having an orgasm, you two might consider exploring a range of sexual behaviors that typically don't make her orgasm quickly. For example, you might spend more time kissing, touching her breasts or performing oral sex on her, having her perform it on you, or doing it mutually in ways that are enjoyable but are perhaps not likely to cause her to orgasm right away. Talk About Your Experiences Do consider talking to your girlfriend about your sexual experiences together. Is an early orgasm a problem for her? What bothers her about having an orgasm soon after beginning sex? Does she become too sensitive to continue with sex, does she feel too tired to go on, does it hurt or does she get a headache after she has an orgasm? If you two can talk more about this and find out what it is that troubles her (if anything), then perhaps you can work around it. On the other hand, if it is you that is troubled by her early orgasm, then that too is something to pay attention to. Why does her orgasm speed bother you? Does is have to? Perhaps you can learn to appreciate the responsiveness of your girlfriend's body and to explore each other's bodies in ways that are about pleasure, and not just timing of orgasm. You may find that you like and enjoy her sexual response, and you two may come to enjoy exploring a wider range of ways of being sexual together. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/vagina-sensitive-after-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vagina-sensitive-after-orgasm/#comments Thu, 22 May 2008 13:00:43 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/05/22/qa-my-girlfriends-vagina-becomes-sensitive-after-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vagina-sensitive-after-orgasm/feed/ 0 2:57 Although not all women become very sensitive after orgasm, some do. Some women find that their clitoris becomes extremely sensitive following orgasm, or else their ... Although not all women become very sensitive after orgasm, some do. Some women find that their clitoris becomes extremely sensitive following orgasm, or else their vagina or other parts of their vulva may become sensitive. Sexual excitement and orgasm are full of different bodily changes and these sensations can change from the excitement phase to the orgasm and post-orgasm phase. Talk To Your Girlfriend If your girlfriend finds that she is very sensitive, perhaps you two can talk and find different ways of having sex that you both find enjoyable. Perhaps sometimes you can have sex the way that you often do now, and if she is too sensitive to go on, you can stop with intercourse and continue on to something else. Other times you might try other means of pleasure. Perhaps sometimes you could have an orgasm first and then perform oral sex on her, or stimulate her with your fingers or in other ways that feel good to her. Alternatively, she could have an orgasm through intercourse, you could move on to kissing and cuddling and other forms of sex play for several minutes, and then try intercourse again after a longer period of time. You may even try adding lubricant prior to entering her again. Thatrsquo;s because when a woman is very aroused, her lubrication often continues to build. But after orgasm, many women do not continue to produce much lubrication, if any at all. Adding some store-bought lubricant may help to make sex more comfortable and pleasurable for her. Not Necessarily A Cause For Concern Again, though not all women share this experience, some do, and so in and of itself it is not necessarily a reason to think that something may be wrong. However, if you or your girlfriend would like to ask a healthcare provider about this, we would strongly encourage you to do so ndash; especially because it is related to pain and discomfort for her, and it may feel reassuring or be important for her to mention this to her healthcare provider. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/anti-depressants-sexual-side-effects-ability-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/anti-depressants-sexual-side-effects-ability-orgasm/#comments Thu, 08 May 2008 14:00:54 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/05/08/qa-anti-depressants-and-the-ability-to-reach-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/anti-depressants-sexual-side-effects-ability-orgasm/feed/ 0 2:51 Yes, some medications do have what we call sexual side effects. They are particularly common among some, but not all, anti-depressants although other medications such ... Yes, some medications do have what we call sexual side effects. They are particularly common among some, but not all, anti-depressants although other medications such as certain medications for high blood pressure, pain relief and allergies may have sexual side effects too. Ability To Orgasm These side effects may affect a man or womanrsquo;s ability to have an orgasm, ease of having an orgasm, desire, arousal or ejaculation. That said, not every drug affects everyone in the same way, and some antidepressants have fewer or different side effects than others. It is important to talk with your healthcare provider about any concerns you may have. In addition, patients are generally advised not to stop taking a medication without first consulting with their healthcare provider. Anxiety And Depression Also Factors Bear in mind, though, that medication is not always the culprit when it comes to sex. In fact, the problems the drugs are prescribed for, such as anxiety or depression, can also put a damper on sexual interest or function. Manufacturers of various drugs now list possible sexual side effects in instructions and ads ndash; a big change from years past. Sexual Side Effects, Dosage and Alternative Therapies Nonetheless, have a conversation with your healthcare provider about your concerns. Ask if the drug is known to have sexual side effects. You may not want to reject a recommended prescription until yoursquo;ve tried it. It may not affect your libido or orgasms at all, and may give you emotional relief to enjoy your relationship and sexual interactions. Also, you might ask if the dosage can be adjusted or how much time to give yourself to test the benefits and the side effects. If you are already in treatment and are experiencing loss of sexual function or pleasure, discuss alternative therapies or ways to compensate for the effects. Sometimes couples find that they can adjust their foreplay, or sexual sharing, in ways that work for them. Adapt a ldquo;proactiverdquo; stance in working with your healthcare provider - and your partner, if you have one - to find a path most conducive to your health, sexual functioning, and well-being. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/achieving-female-orgasms-during-intercourse/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/achieving-female-orgasms-during-intercourse/#comments Tue, 05 Feb 2008 13:00:44 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2008/02/05/qa-female-orgasms-during-intercourse/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/achieving-female-orgasms-during-intercourse/feed/ 0 3:14 Actually, this is very common. If what you mean by "standard" sex is penis-vagina intercourse, you may be interested to know that quite a lot ... Actually, this is very common. If what you mean by "standard" sex is penis-vagina intercourse, you may be interested to know that quite a lot of women donrsquo;t orgasm during intercourse. But Why? Let me guess ndash; your next question is probably ldquo;why?rdquo; Well, the clitoris is the part of a womanrsquo;s genitals that is most packed with nerve endings and is made up of erectile tissue, similar to the inside parts of a manrsquo;s penis that contribute to his erection. The clitoris, therefore, plays a very important role in sexual arousal and orgasm for women. However, the clitoris is not inside the vagina, it is actually one of the outside parts of a womanrsquo;s genitals ndash; just above the vagina or birth canal. In order to stimulate the clitoris during vaginal intercourse, many couples find that they either need to choose positions that provide more clitoral stimulation, or else they might use their fingers or a vibrator to stimulate the clitoris. Oral Sex And Masturbation Other women find that they prefer to receive oral sex or to engage in self-masturbation or mutual masturbation either for sexual pleasure or to experience orgasm. There is no right or wrong way, so whatever feels good to you and makes sense in your sexual life is fine. You might try exploring your body a bit on your own or with your partner, making sure to communicate to your partner what kinds of touching or stimulation you do or do not enjoy. Every woman is different, so donrsquo;t assume that he is an expert who will magically ldquo;giverdquo; you an orgasm. Sexual pleasure and orgasm are things that you can work toward together. Try Different Positions If you are anxious to have that elusive orgasm through intercourse, try positions that will stimulate your clitoris as well as your vagina. Some women find that being on top gives them more control; some find that a partner's fingers rubbing their clitoris during intercourse is the extra touch that they need. Some partners just take turns pleasuring each other to orgasm. Finally, try to avoid focusing on orgasm as the goal of your sexual experience with your partner. There is no right or wrong way to make love; the point is to achieve intimacy and pleasure, and there are many techniques towards that end. Learn More To learn more about orgasm, you might enjoy reading Becoming Orgasmic by Dr. Julia Heiman and Dr. Joseph LoPiccolo. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/qa-can-an-anti-anxiety-drug-interfere-with-having-an-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/qa-can-an-anti-anxiety-drug-interfere-with-having-an-orgasm/#comments Mon, 10 Sep 2007 20:51:14 +0000 Kinsey Confidential http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2007/09/10/qa-can-an-anti-anxiety-drug-interfere-with-having-an-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/qa-can-an-anti-anxiety-drug-interfere-with-having-an-orgasm/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbation-cause-physical-damage-clitoris/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbation-cause-physical-damage-clitoris/#comments Wed, 25 Apr 2007 21:49:45 +0000 Kinsey Confidential http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2007/04/25/qa-can-masturbation-cause-physical-damage-to-the-clitoris/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbation-cause-physical-damage-clitoris/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/ease-of-female-orgasm-vaginal-sensitivity/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/ease-of-female-orgasm-vaginal-sensitivity/#comments Wed, 14 Mar 2007 20:45:33 +0000 Kinsey Confidential http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2007/03/14/qa-i-used-to-orgasm-easily-but-now-im-just-numb/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/ease-of-female-orgasm-vaginal-sensitivity/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/female-ejaculation-peeing/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/female-ejaculation-peeing/#comments Wed, 31 Jan 2007 19:10:48 +0000 Kinsey Confidential http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2007/01/31/qa-female-ejaculatin-and-peeing/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/female-ejaculation-peeing/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/qa-how-can-i-have-an-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/qa-how-can-i-have-an-orgasm/#comments Wed, 27 Sep 2006 19:55:29 +0000 Kinsey Confidential http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2006/09/27/qa-how-can-i-have-an-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/qa-how-can-i-have-an-orgasm/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/becoming-orgasmic-for-women/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/becoming-orgasmic-for-women/#comments Sat, 02 Feb 2002 18:00:35 +0000 Kinsey Confidential http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2007/11/11/becoming-orgasmic-for-women/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/becoming-orgasmic-for-women/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/qa-female-orgasm-and-sensation/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/qa-female-orgasm-and-sensation/#comments Mon, 01 Jan 2001 17:00:12 +0000 Kinsey Confidential http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2007/11/11/qa-female-orgasm-and-sensation/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/qa-female-orgasm-and-sensation/feed/ 0