http://kinseyconfidential.org Just another WordPress weblog Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:00:33 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 2006-2007 aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) posts 1440 Just another WordPress weblog Kinsey Confidential Kinsey Confidential aschweig@indiana.edu No no http://kinseyconfidential.org/wp-content/themes/kinsey/images/kinsey-podcast-300.jpg http://kinseyconfidential.org 144 144 http://kinseyconfidential.org/aging-erectile-problems/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/aging-erectile-problems/#comments Mon, 14 Sep 2009 14:00:39 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=1185 http://kinseyconfidential.org/aging-erectile-problems/feed/ 0 2:23 Thanks for your question. It may be that your refractory period ndash; which is the time between one ejaculation and your ability to have another ... Thanks for your question. It may be that your refractory period ndash; which is the time between one ejaculation and your ability to have another one - is beginning to lengthen. This is common with age. Sometimes, men find that as they age, they cannot get as many firm erections that end in ejaculation in a day or in a week as they used to. You may find that masturbating less often helps you to maintain your erection when you do have intercourse. Some men, if they think they may have intercourse on a certain day, will purposely abstain from masturbating for a full day or two before they expect or hope to have intercourse. Doing so may help your intercourse erections to feel more firm, reliable and longer lasting. Causes of Erectile Problems That said, as fit as you may be, if you have not been to see your healthcare provider in a long time or if you find that reducing your masturbation frequency does not help, then you may find it useful to meet with a healthcare provider just to make sure that all is well. Erection problems can be caused by heart problems, diabetes, or may be a result of side effects from medications. Further Reading You may also find it helpful to read The New Male Sexuality - a well-respected book by a sex therapist named Dr. Zilbergeld that is about men's sexual issues. Sometimes intercourse-related problems are influenced by performance anxiety or concerns about pleasing one's lover and the book has quite a lot of information, tips and techniques related to erections that may be useful. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/trouble-maintaining-erection-time/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/trouble-maintaining-erection-time/#comments Mon, 01 Jun 2009 14:00:20 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/qa-trouble-maintaining-erection-time/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/trouble-maintaining-erection-time/feed/ 0 3:13 Nearly all men will experience difficulties getting or keeping an erection at some point in their lives. Unfortunately, not everyone knows this and so when ... Nearly all men will experience difficulties getting or keeping an erection at some point in their lives. Unfortunately, not everyone knows this and so when erection problems happen to them or their partner, they may worry that they have done something wrong. Performance Anxiety When erectile problems occur among young, healthy men, the cause is typically psychological. Many men experience what we sometimes call ldquo;performance anxietyrdquo; ndash; the stress or worry that they should be a good lover, give their partner an orgasm, have sex that lasts a certain length of time, or otherwise ldquo;performrdquo; sexually in a certain way. This type of stress ndash; like any other type of stress ndash; can make it difficult to experience pleasurable sex and to fully allow the process of sexual arousal to enhance onersquo;s erections. Concerns about pregnancy or infection can also make it difficult for a man to get or keep an erection. Communicating And Learning What Feels Right Other times, menrsquo;s erectile problems may be influenced by their inexperience at sex. When men are just beginning to have sex, they may not yet know how to move their bodies with their partnerrsquo;s bodies in ways that enhance their erection. Over time, men and their partners tend to learn more about their own and their partnerrsquo;s bodies such as what feels good, what doesnrsquo;t and what is more or less likely to lead to enhanced arousal and excitement for both people. That doesnrsquo;t mean that either person is doing anything ldquo;wrongrdquo; at the beginning of their relationship; it just means that it takes time for two people to learn what feels enjoyable and to practice communicating to each other about sex. If you and your boyfriend expect to have sex again, you might consider talking to each other about any concerns that you have about sex, including preventing pregnancy or infection. You might also find that talking about the pleasurable aspects of sex is helpful including what types of touch feel good, how you like to kiss or be kissed, and any sexual behaviors that you very much want to try versus those that you are not comfortable with or donrsquo;t want to try. Ongoing Erectile Problems Ongoing erectile problems may be a sign of diabetes, heart conditions or other medical conditions, which is why it is always important for men to discuss these issues with their healthcare provider if they continue or if they cause stress or worry. Often, however, erectile problems among younger men come and go, and tend to improve as men and their partners become more comfortable with each other and with sex. Recommended Reading You can learn more about these issues and others in The New Male Sexuality by Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/husband-stopped-sleeping-with-me/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/husband-stopped-sleeping-with-me/#comments Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:00:04 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=912 http://kinseyconfidential.org/husband-stopped-sleeping-with-me/feed/ 0 3:19 Irsquo;m sorry to hear about this drastic change in your sex life. It can feel confusing and frustrating to want to be sexually intimate with ... Irsquo;m sorry to hear about this drastic change in your sex life. It can feel confusing and frustrating to want to be sexually intimate with onersquo;s partner and for that partner to decline invitations to have sex. This can feel particularly upsetting when itrsquo;s unclear why sex has stopped. After all, how can you fix a relationship problem if you donrsquo;t understand how it started in the first place, or the reasons behind it now? Many Possible Reasons People stop having sex for many reasons and it is impossible for us to know why your husband stopped having sex with you. Since it seems as though the two of you have discussed the possibility of him seeing a doctor in regard to the lack of sex, I wonder if you noticed physical problems ndash; such as difficulties with erections ndash; that might be contributing to the lack of sex. Sometimes men begin to notice erection problems during sex with a partner, or even during their own masturbation, and they begin to shy away from sex for fear of failure. Other times men, like some women, may choose to stop having sex because they lose desire for sex. Desire can decrease for any number of reasons including relationship problems or health problems. Even if your husband doesnrsquo;t want to talk to a doctor about his sex life, I wonder if he could be encouraged to see a doctor for an annual wellness exam in case he has any health conditions that should be addressed. Whether his choice to stop having sex is related to physical problems, anxiety, depression, or relationship issues is anyonersquo;s guess. However, sexual intimacy is clearly important to you and you have a right to understand more about these changes to your sexual life and marriage. Consider Therapy or Counseling You might ask your husband if he would consider going with you to meet with a sex therapist or marriage counselor. Perhaps reassure him ndash; and mean it ndash; that your goal is to work on becoming closer and strengthening your marriage, rather than being to get him to have sex. After all, if you can get your relationship intimacy back on track, you may have a chance ndash; over time ndash; of restoring your sex life. You can find a sex therapist through the web site of the Society for Sex Therapy and Researching, and you can locate marriage therapists through the web site of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. Further Reading Finally, consider reading The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Relationships,,Love,,Special,,flagged,-,still,needs,some,edits aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/erection-problems-condoms/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/erection-problems-condoms/#comments Thu, 19 Feb 2009 14:00:40 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=860 http://kinseyconfidential.org/erection-problems-condoms/feed/ 0 3:31 Some research suggests that about a third of college-aged men may experience erection problems associated with condom use. Not A Reason To Avoid Using Condoms Of course, ... Some research suggests that about a third of college-aged men may experience erection problems associated with condom use. Not A Reason To Avoid Using Condoms Of course, that's not a reason to avoid using condoms - to this day, condoms remain the best, most effective way for sexually active couples to reduce their risk of sexually transmissible infections, or STIs, such as Chlamydia, gonorrhea and HIV, the virus that can cause AIDS. The challenge for many couples is to learn how to use condoms while at the same time helping a man to experience a full erection. Some men find that they have erection problems while using condoms because they get distracted and lose their arousal. In these cases, it can be helpful for their partner to put the condom on the man's penis, as you did, but the trick is that the man should keep doing things that feel arousing to him - for example, kissing or touching his partner in sensual ways. Foreplay Can Help You mentioned that you two tried shortening foreplay but in fact, that may be counterproductive. Foreplay can help both women and men to become more aroused, which for women can promote vaginal lubrication and for men can help to promote their erection. As such, you might try spending more time in foreplay before putting the condom on, or else try putting the condom on in the middle of foreplay and then continuing with foreplay, while the condom is on, in order to enhance his arousal. Some men find that adding a lubricant on top of the condom helps to enhance sensation and thus promote a more firm erection. If you are using latex condoms, try using a water-based or silicone-based lubricant, as they are condom-compatible. If the condom seems too large or too small for his penis, he might shop online or in local stores for a condom that more comfortably fits his penis. Finally, some men find that it can help to try masturbating with a condom on, while alone. Sexual stimulation feels quite different with a condom on, compared to off, and he may find that it helps him to get used to this sensation if he tries using a condom in this way. Learn More Also, because performance anxiety contributes to many cases of erection problems, your boyfriend might find it helpful to read The Sexual Male: Problems and Solutions. Finally, in rare cases, erection problems are an early sign of heart disease, diabetes or other health problems. If your boyfriend notices erection problems regularly, even without condoms, or if he has questions about his erectile function or personal health, he should check in with his healthcare provider. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/erection-loss-reluctance-to-use-condoms/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/erection-loss-reluctance-to-use-condoms/#comments Mon, 05 May 2008 20:14:09 +0000 Samantha Seeger http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2008/05/05/reluctance-to-use-condoms/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/erection-loss-reluctance-to-use-condoms/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/erection-problems-sex-therapy/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/erection-problems-sex-therapy/#comments Wed, 09 Apr 2008 01:37:07 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2008/04/08/qa-erection-problems-psychological-or-physical/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/erection-problems-sex-therapy/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/erection-timing-maintaining-erection-medication/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/erection-timing-maintaining-erection-medication/#comments Wed, 02 Apr 2008 01:30:17 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2008/04/01/qa-erection-timing/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/erection-timing-maintaining-erection-medication/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/premature-ejaculation-erection-control-refractory-periods/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/premature-ejaculation-erection-control-refractory-periods/#comments Wed, 10 Oct 2007 17:01:06 +0000 Kinsey Confidential http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2007/10/10/qa-i-cant-control-my-erections/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/premature-ejaculation-erection-control-refractory-periods/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/performance-anxiety-psyching-myself-out-erection/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/performance-anxiety-psyching-myself-out-erection/#comments Mon, 17 Sep 2007 20:31:55 +0000 Kinsey Confidential http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2007/09/17/qa-am-i-psyching-myself-out-of-my-erection/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/performance-anxiety-psyching-myself-out-erection/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/losing-erection-sexual-orientation/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/losing-erection-sexual-orientation/#comments Wed, 28 Mar 2007 21:47:21 +0000 Kinsey Confidential http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2007/03/28/qa-does-losing-my-erection-with-girls-mean-im-gay-or-bisexual/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/losing-erection-sexual-orientation/feed/ 1 http://kinseyconfidential.org/stress-affect-erections/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/stress-affect-erections/#comments Wed, 21 Mar 2007 20:46:22 +0000 Kinsey Confidential http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2007/03/21/qa-can-stress-really-affect-a-mans-erections/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/stress-affect-erections/feed/ 0