http://kinseyconfidential.org Just another WordPress weblog Sat, 13 Mar 2010 17:03:39 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 2006-2007 aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) posts 1440 Just another WordPress weblog Kinsey Confidential Kinsey Confidential aschweig@indiana.edu No no http://kinseyconfidential.org/wp-content/themes/kinsey/images/kinsey-podcast-300.jpg http://kinseyconfidential.org 144 144 http://kinseyconfidential.org/premature-ejaculation-in-sex-is-it-because-i-masturbate/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/premature-ejaculation-in-sex-is-it-because-i-masturbate/#comments Mon, 08 Mar 2010 14:00:02 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1579 http://kinseyconfidential.org/premature-ejaculation-in-sex-is-it-because-i-masturbate/feed/ 0 3:31 Everyone Does It Most men and women have masturbated at some point in their lives whether during adolescence, adulthood, older age or throughout the lifespan. In ... Everyone Does It Most men and women have masturbated at some point in their lives whether during adolescence, adulthood, older age or throughout the lifespan. In fact, even research conducted with parents and teachers of young children shows that most young children touch their genitals for curiosity, to relieve an itch or because they like how it feels. Masturbation is generally regarded as a healthy form of sexual expression. Sperm Production Menrsquo;s bodies make sperm and the fluids that make up semen on an ongoing basis. Masturbating will not cause your body to stop producing sperm or semen. In case yoursquo;re curious, sperm only make up a small portion of the volume of semen. Much of a manrsquo;s seminal fluids come from his prostate gland and other glands called the cowperrsquo;s glands and seminal vesicles. Why We Do It There are many reasons that people masturbate including for fun, curiosity, to release sexual tension, to help themselves fall asleep or to enhance their desire or arousal. There are also different ways that people masturbate alone or with a sexual or romantic relationship partner. While many people touch their genitals, others find that they enjoy stimulating their chest or breasts, their inner thighs or their anus. Some people use their hands to masturbate and others find it pleasurable to use a sex toy, to rub their body against a bed or pillow or to stimulate themselves in the shower or bath. Masturbation Might Help Itrsquo;s also important to note that masturbation does not necessarily cause premature ejaculation or the experience of ejaculating more quickly than you or your wife might like. In fact, certain masturbation exercises might actually help you to learn to last longer during sexual intercourse. These exercises are called the stop-start technique and the squeeze technique. Essentially they involve stimulating yourself during masturbation, then just before the point when you are getting close to ejaculating you either stop all stimulation (for the stop-start technique) or gently squeeze the head of your penis (for the squeeze technique). This may help your arousal to decrease somewhat before you then start stimulating yourself again and repeat the process. Finally, I would encourage you to speak with your wife about her feelings about her sex life. It may be that she is happy with how long you spend having sex. More Information You can learn more about masturbation and partnered techniques to help you last longer during sex in The New Male Sexuality or Coping With Premature Ejaculation. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-delay-ejaculation-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-delay-ejaculation-sex/#comments Mon, 22 Feb 2010 14:00:49 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1488 http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-delay-ejaculation-sex/feed/ 1 3:22 Condoms to Elongate Intercourse Condoms that are marketed to help men last longer often contain a gel or a cream inside the condom that has benzocaine ... Condoms to Elongate Intercourse Condoms that are marketed to help men last longer often contain a gel or a cream inside the condom that has benzocaine as an active ingredient. Benzocaine works by slightly numbing or desensitizing the skin on a manrsquo;s penis. By reducing sensation during sex, condoms with benzocaine may help men to last longer by several minutes. For men who come more quickly than they or their partner would like, this can be very appealing. Health Warnings Most men are able to use condoms that contain benzocaine without experiencing any negative side effects. However, some men may be sensitive or allergic to benzocaine or to other ingredients used in the cream or gel thatrsquo;s inside the condom. In fact, some case reports describe men who have experienced redness, inflammation or other irritation ndash; sometimes quite severe - to their penis. Unfortunately, sensitive or allergic reactions may last a few days or even as long as a week or two. If a man continues to expose himself to something he is sensitive or allergic to, perhaps because he doesnrsquo;t realize what is causing the problem, he may make the problem even worse. If you or your partner use these types of condoms and notice redness, irritation, itching, inflammation or swelling after using them, then stop using them and ask your healthcare provider about it. If you try these types of condoms and find that you do not experience any negative reactions ndash; again, most men do not ndash; then they may be part of a useful short term strategy to help you last longer during sex. Long Term Solutions Of course, these types of condoms are often not a useful long term strategy. Masturbation exercises such as the stop-start and squeeze technique may be more helpful for men to learn to control the timing of their ejaculate over the long run. In addition, some men are helped by visualization exercises, by learning to relax during sex or to focus on their own physical sensations during sex.nbsp;Others find that with time and experience, they learn how to last longer all on their own. Less commonly, some men find that certain prescription medications ndash; specifically, some SSRI antidepressants ndash; may help them to last longer. Men who are interested in medication options should ask their healthcare provider for more information. More Information To learn more about how to last longer during sex, check out The New Male Sexuality or Coping With Premature Ejaculation: How to Overcome PE, Please Your Partner and Have Great Sex. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbate-facedown-sexual-problems/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbate-facedown-sexual-problems/#comments Thu, 04 Feb 2010 14:00:26 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1358 http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbate-facedown-sexual-problems/feed/ 1 3:15 Research in Masturbation The term traumatic masturbatory syndrome was first used in a 1998 article by a clinician who described four of his patients who masturbated ... Research in Masturbation The term traumatic masturbatory syndrome was first used in a 1998 article by a clinician who described four of his patients who masturbated face-down and who experienced sexual problems. However, the term has never been widely accepted by the sex research or therapy community. After all, just because four men who masturbated with this technique also had sexual problems does not mean that the masturbation technique caused the other sexual problems or that itrsquo;s an actual syndrome, let alone a traumatic syndrome. Although a face-down style of masturbation that involves rubbing against the bed appears to be less common than a style that involves a man laying on his back or sitting up, that doesnrsquo;t mean that face-down masturbation will cause sexual problems. However, sometimes men who rely on one and only way of masturbating find it difficult to orgasm from other types of masturbation or sexual stimulation such as oral sex or intercourse. New Techniques In my experiencing working with men, they can often ldquo;re-trainrdquo; their bodies to respond to a wider range of sexual stimulation by varying their masturbation technique. You might try, for example, masturbating with lots of lubricant sometimes, a small amount of lubricant other times and no lubricant at all on other occasions. You might try different paces or rhythms or using different hand techniques. Try to focus on experiencing pleasure rather than the goal of orgasm which can put pressure on your experience and make it even more difficult to come. You might even try masturbating less often. Sometimes, by masturbating less often you can build sexual tension in a way that makes it easier to orgasm when you do masturbate again. Resources If you continue to find it difficult to ejaculate, I would encourage you to speak with your healthcare provider about your experience. In some cases, medical conditions such as diabetes can contribute to menrsquo;s difficulty with ejaculation or orgasm. Sex therapy can be helpful as well in cases where the difficulty ejaculating makes men feel worried, anxious or concerned about dating or being sexual with another person. You can find a sex therapist in your area on Society for Sex Therapy and Research's website. Finally, reading The New Male Sexuality may be helpful as you explore a wider range of sexual pleasure. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/bad-long-masturbating/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/bad-long-masturbating/#comments Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:00:06 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1319 http://kinseyconfidential.org/bad-long-masturbating/feed/ 0 2:47 Different Experiences Men, like women, vary in terms of how they experience sexual arousal and orgasm. It is not unusual for men to describe feeling more ... Different Experiences Men, like women, vary in terms of how they experience sexual arousal and orgasm. It is not unusual for men to describe feeling more or less aroused, or more or less easily orgasmic, in response to different sexual behaviors or experiences. For example, some men find it easier to orgasm from intercourse than oral sex. Others find that itrsquo;s easier for them to orgasm, or quicker for them to orgasm, from masturbation than from vaginal or anal sex. So, it varies. Trying New Things Watching porn can be highly arousing to some men. If it helps you to feel very excited or aroused and you enjoy its role in your masturbation, that is not necessarily a bad thing. However, if you would like to try to enhance your arousal during masturbation in other ways, there are plenty of options. For example, you might try texting with a partner, trying different hand positions, using lubricant or no lubricant, fantasizing or trying sex toys such as the Fleshlight or a masturbation sleeve. What's the Reason Irsquo;d also like to ask you to consider whether you are lasting as long as 30 or 40 minutes without porn because you want to or because you canrsquo;t come sooner even if you try. If yoursquo;re taking your time and lasting longer to enjoy the sensations, then more power to you! If you find that you are unable to come sooner as much as you try, then expanding your masturbation routine, as described earlier, might help your body adapt to different types of stimulation. Even if you cannot come sooner, try to not let that trouble you. Masturbation is not the same as partnered sex and you may find that during sex with a partner, your experience of ejaculation and orgasm are quite different. More Information To learn more about ejaculation and learning to control the timing of your orgasm, check out The New Male Sexuality. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/order-stop-ejaculating-asleep/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/order-stop-ejaculating-asleep/#comments Thu, 07 Jan 2010 14:00:05 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1315 http://kinseyconfidential.org/order-stop-ejaculating-asleep/feed/ 1 http://kinseyconfidential.org/stop-masturbating-premature-ejaculations-stop/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/stop-masturbating-premature-ejaculations-stop/#comments Mon, 28 Dec 2009 14:00:16 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1313 http://kinseyconfidential.org/stop-masturbating-premature-ejaculations-stop/feed/ 0 2:28 Yours is a wonderful question and by asking it, we will hopefully be able to help many men who have questions about premature ejaculation and ... Yours is a wonderful question and by asking it, we will hopefully be able to help many men who have questions about premature ejaculation and learning to control the timing of ejaculation. Everyone Does It Masturbation is an extremely common sexual activity ndash; most men and women have masturbated. This is particularly true for young men and women, for whom masturbation is quite common and an excellent choice for safer sex and for learning about onersquo;s own body. Speaking of which, masturbation can actually help men learn to control the timing of their ejaculation. In other words, by practicing very specific masturbation techniques, you may be able to get more in touch with your body so that you can stop yourself from ejaculating before yoursquo;re ready. It will likely take time and a good deal of practice, but this type of practice can be quite pleasurable! Masturbation Techniques Two techniques that are commonly used by men who would like to develop ejaculatory control are the stop-start technique and the squeeze technique. Here is how they work: Start by stimulating your body in the way that you usually do. As you build arousal, pay attention to your bodily sensations. Just before the point of no return ndash; when you will ejaculate no matter what happens ndash; stop all stimulation and let your arousal subside a little. Then start the stimulation again and repeat the cycle. This is the stop-start technique. The squeeze technique is similar except instead of stopping all stimulation, one can gently squeeze the head of onersquo;s penis and then let the arousal subside. Learn More More detailed instructions about these and other techniques for learning ejaculatory control are described in The New Male Sexuality. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnant-mans-preejaculate/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnant-mans-preejaculate/#comments Mon, 07 Dec 2009 14:00:13 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1290 http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnant-mans-preejaculate/feed/ 2 http://kinseyconfidential.org/sperm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sperm/#comments Thu, 03 Dec 2009 14:00:51 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1289 http://kinseyconfidential.org/sperm/feed/ 1 2:41 Sperm only account for about 5% of a manrsquo;s ejaculation by volume whereas fluids from the seminal vesicles and prostate gland account for the vast ... Sperm only account for about 5% of a manrsquo;s ejaculation by volume whereas fluids from the seminal vesicles and prostate gland account for the vast majority of semen. As such, if you are hoping that more sperm will make for larger amounts of semen when you ejaculate, think again! Unable to Increase the Volume of Ejaculate In fact, I am not aware of any way to reliably increase the volume of your ejaculate. Some men find that they emit more semen when they have had less frequent masturbation or partnered sex or when they have allowed their arousal to build up substantially before ejaculating. Others notice little, if any, difference when they try these things. Now, if yoursquo;re not interested in changing your semen volume ndash; but rather you are interested in increasing your sperm count itself, that may be another story. Increasing Your Sperm Count If a healthcare provider has told you that you have a low sperm count, and you and your partner wish to become pregnant, then you may be able to make some lifestyle changes that can either result in more sperm per ejaculation or that may help the sperm you do produce to swim faster or to be of higher quality. Some research, for example, has linked high body fat to lower sperm count or to lower sperm quality. Other research has examined the relationship between caffeine consumption or cigarette smoking with the suggestion that high caffeine consumption and smoking can have a negative impact on sperm quality. Then there are temperature issues to consider in that men who are trying to conceive may find it helpful to steer clear of tight underwear, steam rooms or hot tubs so that their testicles ndash; where sperm are produced ndash; arenrsquo;t subjected to warm temperatures, which can impair sperm production. If you are concerned about your sperm count or your fertility, check in with a healthcare provider for advice about what you can personally to do improve your sperm count or quality. Depending on your personal health history and your goals regarding pregnancy, some strategies may be better choices than others and you can discuss these options with a healthcare provider. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/regain-erection-quicker-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/regain-erection-quicker-orgasm/#comments Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:00:40 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1253 http://kinseyconfidential.org/regain-erection-quicker-orgasm/feed/ 0 3:24 Men Vs. Women Although menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s bodies are similar in many ways (both sexes have two eyes, two ears, a nose, two legs, etc) there ... Men Vs. Women Although menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s bodies are similar in many ways (both sexes have two eyes, two ears, a nose, two legs, etc) there are also some key differences. For example, not only do males and females vary in terms of their genitals ndash; the whole ldquo;boys have a penis and girls have a vaginardquo; ndash; but our genitals and sexual response work in different ways too. Refractory Period Unlike women (who are capable of multiple orgasms), men have whatrsquo;s called a refractory period which is the time between one ejaculation and their ability to ejaculate again. Young men, particularly those in their teens and twenties, can often have more than one ejaculation in a short period of time. Sometimes after sex that ends in ejaculation, a guy can keep having sex with only a slight decrease in the firmness of his erection. Mostly, though, it takes time for a man to get a second erection after he has already ejaculated (whether that ejaculation was from masturbation, oral sex, mutual masturbation, vaginal sex or anal sex). Sometimes it may only take a few moments but often it takes at least 15 or 30 minutes for men ndash; even young, college-aged men like yourself ndash; to get a second erection after they ejaculate. Welcome to your refractory period! As men age, their refractory period typically lengthens meaning that it often takes longer for men to get a second erection after they ejaculate. Some men may need to wait hours before they can ejaculate again or get a second erection. Other men may need to wait a day or longer. Can It Be Changed? There is no way to change onersquo;s refractory period and no special technique to being able to have multiple ejaculations in a short period of time. Some men pay attention to how their particular bodies work and may notice that itrsquo;s easier for them to become erect again if they are working out, eating well, getting sufficient sleep, abstaining from cigarettes or alcohol (both of which may impair menrsquo;s erectile function), or if they are feeling extremely mentally or physically aroused. Other times, men find it difficult to pinpoint any specific pattern to the way their erections work. Other Ways To Enjoy Each Other The good news is that pleasurable, enjoyable sex doesnrsquo;t always require an erection. Pleasurable sex isnrsquo;t always about intercourse or what some may think of as ldquo;normalrdquo; or ldquo;standardrdquo; sex. If you want to keep exploring each otherrsquo;s bodies, then whether or not you have a second erection, you and your partner can continue to kiss, to stimulate each othersrsquo; genitals with your hands, to massage each otherrsquo;s bodies all over, to play with sex toys or to lay in bed and talk and laugh. More Information You can learn more about menrsquo;s sexuality, including erections, ejaculation and enhancing sex play with a partner, in The New Male Sexuality. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/how-long-should-sex-last/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/how-long-should-sex-last/#comments Thu, 15 Oct 2009 13:00:59 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1237 http://kinseyconfidential.org/how-long-should-sex-last/feed/ 1 3:12 Many men feel pressure in regard to their sexual performance with a partner. As a result, one of the more common questions that we get ... Many men feel pressure in regard to their sexual performance with a partner. As a result, one of the more common questions that we get about sex has to do with learning to last longer during sex. Masturbating to Pornography Yoursquo;re not alone in feeling as though your quick ejaculation during masturbation while watching porn may be influenced by years of feeling as though you had to hurry up so that you didnrsquo;t get caught. Quite a lot of men attribute their quick ejaculation to feeling as though they needed to come quickly before someone found them masturbating or watching porn. How Long Sex Lasts The fact that you can last as long as 5 or 10 minutes during masturbation without porn is encouraging. In spite of common myths about sex, itrsquo;s common or sex to last for less than 15 minutes. Some couples spend 1 or 2 minutes in intercourse, others spend closer to 5 minutes, and some last for 10 minutes, 20 minutes or longer. With experience and practice, men often find that they can increase their control over the timing of their ejaculation. Exercises to Try At home, you can practice the stop-start and squeeze techniques during masturbation. This is how they work: begin by stimulating yourself as usual. Then, just before you get to the point of no return ndash; when you will ejaculate no matter what ndash; either stop all stimulation to your penis by removing your hand (for the stop-start technique) or gently squeeze the head of your penis (for the squeeze technique). Then, as your arousal starts to subside a little, begin stimulating your penis again and then repeat the cycle. As you try these exercises, pay attention to the sensations in your penis, scrotum or in other parts of your body. What types of feelings do you notice as you get closer to feeling as though you are going to ejaculate? Some men notice a twitch in their leg muscles or a feeling in the area of their scrotum. Others notice their penis getting exceptionally hard as their excitement builds. With practice, you can learn to notice these sensations and then back off a little during masturbation or sex by staying still, stopping all stimulation ndash; or when having sex with a partner ndash; by removing your penis and taking a few seconds off before re-inserting it or trying a new sex positions. Learn More You can learn more about ejaculation and menrsquo;s sexuality in The New Male Sexuality which highlights several additional tips and techniques for lasting longer during sex. You can learn more about this book and others on our Kinsey Confidential web site. Content,Type,,Homepage,Featured,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast,,Special aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/aging-erectile-problems/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/aging-erectile-problems/#comments Mon, 14 Sep 2009 14:00:39 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=1185 http://kinseyconfidential.org/aging-erectile-problems/feed/ 0 2:23 Thanks for your question. It may be that your refractory period ndash; which is the time between one ejaculation and your ability to have another ... Thanks for your question. It may be that your refractory period ndash; which is the time between one ejaculation and your ability to have another one - is beginning to lengthen. This is common with age. Sometimes, men find that as they age, they cannot get as many firm erections that end in ejaculation in a day or in a week as they used to. You may find that masturbating less often helps you to maintain your erection when you do have intercourse. Some men, if they think they may have intercourse on a certain day, will purposely abstain from masturbating for a full day or two before they expect or hope to have intercourse. Doing so may help your intercourse erections to feel more firm, reliable and longer lasting. Causes of Erectile Problems That said, as fit as you may be, if you have not been to see your healthcare provider in a long time or if you find that reducing your masturbation frequency does not help, then you may find it useful to meet with a healthcare provider just to make sure that all is well. Erection problems can be caused by heart problems, diabetes, or may be a result of side effects from medications. Further Reading You may also find it helpful to read The New Male Sexuality - a well-respected book by a sex therapist named Dr. Zilbergeld that is about men's sexual issues. Sometimes intercourse-related problems are influenced by performance anxiety or concerns about pleasing one's lover and the book has quite a lot of information, tips and techniques related to erections that may be useful. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/premature-ejaculation-decreased-arousal/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/premature-ejaculation-decreased-arousal/#comments Mon, 04 May 2009 13:00:35 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/qa-premature-ejaculation-decreased-arousal/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/premature-ejaculation-decreased-arousal/feed/ 1 2:56 Peoplersquo;s bodies vary in how they respond sexually and there is no ldquo;rightrdquo; or ldquo;wrongrdquo; when it comes to how many times a person has ... Peoplersquo;s bodies vary in how they respond sexually and there is no ldquo;rightrdquo; or ldquo;wrongrdquo; when it comes to how many times a person has sex, how long they spend having sex or how long it takes them or ejaculate or orgasm ndash; or if they orgasm at all. If you and your partner are happy with your sex life, that is what is most important to consider. Fairly Common What yoursquo;re describing is actually fairly common, especially among younger men, and there is nothing wrong with ejaculating quickly or maintaining an erection after ejaculation. Sometimes when men ejaculate very quickly they find that they can either maintain their erection after ejaculation or else they can get a second erection soon after and they and their partner may decide to keep having sex. Some men and their partners keep going with sex until the man ejaculates a second time; other times, men and their partners just keep going with sex for another few minutes or however long feels right to them, and then they stop, even if the man has not ejaculated a second time. Not Always Desirable Not all men find it important or even desirable to have a second ejaculation right away. Since arousal tends to diminish, as you said, and a second ejaculation can be more difficult to achieve than the first, some men find that they would rather continue sex for a little bit longer to please their partner, and then stop and do something else, such as kiss, cuddle, fall asleep or go on with their day together. Although we sometimes think of sex as ending when a man ejaculates, in fact sex can stop whenever you and your partner are ready for it to stop ndash; ejaculation or not. Talk To Your Partner An enjoyable aspect of sex is that, regardless of what you have read about it or seen in movies, you and your partner truly do have the opportunity to make your sex life your own. Irsquo;d encourage you to talk with your partner to find out how sex feels for him or her. You might both share your thoughts and ideas about how long you spend having sex, what feels good, what could feel better, and what you both want to try. Learn More You can learn more about menrsquo;s sexual response and exploration in The New Male Sexuality by Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/orgasm-desire-vasectomy/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/orgasm-desire-vasectomy/#comments Thu, 16 Apr 2009 13:00:18 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/qa-orgasm-desire-vasectomy/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/orgasm-desire-vasectomy/feed/ 0 3:22 Vasectomy is generally regarded as a highly safe and effective means of permanent birth control. There are various methods of vasectomy that are available to ... Vasectomy is generally regarded as a highly safe and effective means of permanent birth control. There are various methods of vasectomy that are available to doctors, with the end result being that the vas deferens ndash; which are the tubes that carry sperm from the testicles ndash; are clamped, cut or sealed so that sperm are no longer able to leave the body through ejaculation. Affect On Sexual Desire And Orgasm Because only the sperm are blocked, and sperm make up a very tiny proportion of the volume of a manrsquo;s semen, the amount of ejaculation released during orgasm is pretty much the same before vasectomy as it is after vasectomy. And when it comes to sex, research generally suggests that menrsquo;s sexual desire, satisfaction and erectile function are just as strong after vasectomy as compared to before vasectomy. In fact, without the anxiety about accidentally getting their partner pregnant during intercourse, quite a few men even indicate that they have stronger erections or are more sexually satisfied after their vasectomy. Less Pleasurable Sex Very Rare It is very rare for men who have had vasectomies to report having less pleasurable sex or no experience of release at the time of orgasm. Because this is so rare, many doctors ndash; even those who have performed hundreds of vasectomies ndash; may have never encountered a patient who told them that their experience of sex became worse after the vasectomy, and that may explain why the doctors yoursquo;ve met with have had little to say in response to your question. That doesnrsquo;t mean that your experience isnrsquo;t valid or doesnrsquo;t warrant attention. Having a vasectomy can affect menrsquo;s feelings about themselves, their bodies, and their sexuality in important ways, and it may be worth meeting with a trained sex therapist to further explore how having a vasectomy has impacted your sex life. You can find a sex therapist on the web site of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. You might also want to meet with a urologist or a neurologist who has experience in sexual issues as it is certainly possible that there may be physical causes related to your lack of pleasure in relation to orgasm. Recommended Reading Finally, you might find it helpful to read a book such as For Each Other: Sharing Sexual Intimacy by Dr. Lonnie Barbach that focuses on ways that couples can use sexual exploration to foster closeness, intimacy and pleasure. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/delayed-ejaculation-boyfriend-doesnt-ejaculate-during-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/delayed-ejaculation-boyfriend-doesnt-ejaculate-during-sex/#comments Thu, 02 Apr 2009 14:00:04 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/qa-boyfriend-ejaculate-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/delayed-ejaculation-boyfriend-doesnt-ejaculate-during-sex/feed/ 1 http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbation-guilt-health-problems/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbation-guilt-health-problems/#comments Thu, 08 Jan 2009 14:00:42 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=549 http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbation-guilt-health-problems/feed/ 0 2:59 In spite of doctors, researchers and educators best efforts to reassure women and men that masturbation is not harmful, many people still hear rumors about ... In spite of doctors, researchers and educators best efforts to reassure women and men that masturbation is not harmful, many people still hear rumors about the dangers of masturbation. Masturbation Is Not Harmful And yet the facts are clear - masturbation is not only common, but it is not harmful or dangerous to either men or women. Most men and women have masturbated at some point in their lives. That includes women and men of various ages, races, ethnicities, religions, sexual orientations and political ideologies. In fact, many men and women recall touching their genitals for pleasure even when they were children, something that many parents, teachers and pediatricians are well aware of. And yet many women and men were raised with the sense that touching their genitals for pleasure, relaxation or enjoyment was something bad, dirty, shameful or immoral. Positive Effects of Masturbation Rather than being harmful, recent research suggests that men's masturbation during early adulthood is associated with a decreased risk of prostate cancer as men age. Masturbation, like partner sex, can also help men and women to decrease stress. It may help to bolster our immune systems, to help people to feel happier or more relaxed, or to fall asleep more easily. For women, masturbation - again, just like sex with a partner - can help to keep their vaginal tissue moist and healthy. Masturbation can help promote blood flow to the genitals for both women and men which can help to oxygenate tissues around the genitals and reproductive organs. Masturbation can also help women and men to better understand their bodies and to help them learn what feels good. Self-pleasuring, as it is sometimes called, can also help men to learn to control the timing of their ejaculation. For women, self-pleasuring can help a woman learn to orgasm more easily. Learn More To learn more about masturbation - both its myths and its benefits - check out The Big Book of Masturbation by Martha Cornog. Women in particular may find the book Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving to be of interest, too. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/female-ejaculation/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/female-ejaculation/#comments Mon, 05 Jan 2009 14:00:54 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=491 http://kinseyconfidential.org/female-ejaculation/feed/ 1 2:57 Sex researchers still have a long way to go toward solving the mysteries of female ejaculation. In fact, we aren't even in complete agreement as ... Sex researchers still have a long way to go toward solving the mysteries of female ejaculation. In fact, we aren't even in complete agreement as to what to call it. Some researchers use the term "female ejaculation" with ease as a way to describe fluids that are emitted from a woman's urethra during sexual excitement or orgasm. Other researchers are not comfortable with the term "female ejaculation" and may point out that the fluid is not similar to men's ejaculate, and thus the comparison is not warranted. The jury is still out, too, on what exactly these fluids may be. Some chemical analyses suggest that the fluids are distinct from urine whereas other research suggests some similarities with urine, which may not be surprising given that the fluid does come out of a woman's urethra just like a man's semen comes out of his urethra. Not All or Nothing So while we still have much to learn in terms of what these fluids are composed of, chemically speaking, and what to call them, we do know that they are not an all or nothing experience. That is to say that the fact that your girlfriend experienced a female ejaculation-like event two times during your three years together is not unheard of. Some women say that they experience it regularly, others notice it sporadically - every now and then - and still others have never noticed a spurt of fluids coming from their urethra during sexual activity or orgasm. Differing Opinions In other words, this is not something that is under most women's control - though some certainly wish it were. Like other aspects of sexuality, female ejaculation is enjoyed and relished by some women and their partners while others feel neutral or even negative about it. Some find that it greatly contributes to their arousal and others can take it or leave it, or are perhaps curious about the experience. Further Reading To learn more about female ejaculation, check out The G Spot: And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Newspaper,Column,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No