http://kinseyconfidential.org Just another WordPress weblog Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:00:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 2006-2007 aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) posts 1440 Just another WordPress weblog Kinsey Confidential Kinsey Confidential aschweig@indiana.edu No no http://kinseyconfidential.org/wp-content/themes/kinsey/images/kinsey-podcast-300.jpg http://kinseyconfidential.org 144 144 http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-girlfriend-bleed-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-girlfriend-bleed-sex/#comments Thu, 28 Jan 2010 14:00:14 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1359 http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-girlfriend-bleed-sex/feed/ 1 3:08 Feeling the Friction Sexual intercourse involves friction between two peoplersquo;s bodies. Just the right amount of friction can contribute to menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s physical pleasure during ... Feeling the Friction Sexual intercourse involves friction between two peoplersquo;s bodies. Just the right amount of friction can contribute to menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s physical pleasure during sex. The friction of sexual stimulation on a manrsquo;s penis or against a womanrsquo;s vulva or vagina can even help men and women have orgasms. Too much friction, though, and sex may feel uncomfortable or painful. Too little friction and it may not feel like much of anything is happening during intercourse. Condoms' Contributions Wearing a condom can add to the friction during sex. Sometimes this added friction is a welcome sensation; other times, it is not. It may be that the condom adds a little too much friction for you and your girlfriend ndash; but that doesnrsquo;t mean that you have to give up wearing condoms. After all, condoms are a highly effective means of reducing the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmissible infections, or STIs. Sex Solutions Perhaps you and your girlfriend already have a tight genital fit and the condom provides a bit too much friction. Or maybe sexual intercourse starts out all right with the condom on but it lasts so long or is vigorous in a way that the lubricant on the condom eventually dries up, leaving you with a dry condom and more friction than feels pleasurable. If this is the case, then sex may feel dry and your girlfriend may be more prone to small vaginal tears, which can result in small amounts of bleeding during or after sex. Most women will experience small vaginal cuts or tears at some point in their lives; usually they are not painful and will heal within a few days. To prevent vaginal cuts or bleeding, however, try adding extra water-based lubricant or silicone-based lubricant to the condom after it is already on your penis. You may find that by adding lubricant, sex feels more comfortable and pleasurable and your girlfriend may be less likely to bleed during or after sex. If sex goes on for a long time or is particularly rough or vigorous, make sure to add more lubricant as needed. More Information You can learn more about different types of lubricants, how to use them and how lubricants can contribute to more pleasurable sex in my book, Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-bleed-lot/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-bleed-lot/#comments Mon, 11 Jan 2010 14:00:40 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1318 http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-bleed-lot/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-tearing-intercourse-fingering/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-tearing-intercourse-fingering/#comments Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:00:18 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=1191 http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-tearing-intercourse-fingering/feed/ 0 3:13 Many young women and men have questions about having sex for the first time and losing onersquo;s virginity. In regard to your question, it is ... Many young women and men have questions about having sex for the first time and losing onersquo;s virginity. In regard to your question, it is indeed possible to experience vaginal bleeding from either fingering or penile penetration. Vaginal Tearing The vagina is made up of sensitive tissue. It can be easily torn from fingering as may occur during sex play. It can also be torn by little snags of a personrsquo;s fingernails. Penetration ndash; whether from a finger or a manrsquo;s penis ndash; can also cause the hymen to tear, either just a little or a lot. The hymen is a thin layer of tissue that partially covers a womanrsquo;s vaginal entrance. Although the size of the tissue is small, it is filled with blood vessels. As such, even if just a little bit of the hymen tears, a woman or her partner may notice blood on onersquo;s fingers, penis or on the sheets. Unfortunately, it is impossible to know whether the bleeding occurred from fingering or penetration. Slow Down However, the fact that you feel as though he may be taking advantage of your lack of experience is something to pay attention to. If you feel as though you donrsquo;t have as much power or control over the sexual aspects of your relationship, you may find that it is important to talk to your boyfriend about what you do or do not want to happen sexually and what you are or are not feeling ready for. It may be that you are more comfortable exploring at a slower pace or that you would like to learn more about sex before you continue to engage in such intimate sex play together. Also, keep in mind that vaginal penetration with a manrsquo;s penis ndash; even if itrsquo;s just a little bit ndash; can put a woman at risk for pregnancy or sexually transmissible infections, also called STIs. If you do not wish to become pregnant at this time, you may want to not engage in vaginal penetration or you may want to learn more about birth control options. Learning More You can learn more about sex by reading S.E.X.: The All You Need to Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College or The Guide to Getting It On. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/morning-after-pill-emergency-contraception/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/morning-after-pill-emergency-contraception/#comments Thu, 15 Jan 2009 14:00:06 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=554 http://kinseyconfidential.org/morning-after-pill-emergency-contraception/feed/ 0 3:04 The fact that you have been having sex for about a month and have already taken emergency contraception, also known as the morning after pill, ... The fact that you have been having sex for about a month and have already taken emergency contraception, also known as the morning after pill, two times - and almost a third time now - is something that I would strongly suggest you speak with your healthcare provider, or a trusted parent or adult, about. Emergency Contraception: Not For Frequent Use Emergency contraception pills are not recommended for frequent use. If you and your boyfriend have decided to have sex with each other, then I would strongly suggest exploring other options for preventing pregnancy. For example, have you considered using condoms? Not only would condoms greatly reduce your risk of pregnancy if you use them consistently and correctly, but they can also greatly reduce your risk of getting or giving one another several sexually transmissible infections, or STIs. Since you seem comfortable with hormonal contraception, which is what emergency contraception is a form of, you might also ask your healthcare provider about birth control options such as the birth control pill, patch, shot or ring. Although they are all highly effective, some are easier to use than others and may be better choices for you. No "Safe" Days As you mentioned, some women do experience spotting or bleeding after they take the emergency contraception but it is not necessarily the same as a period and you can absolutely get pregnant during this time period. There are no absolute "safe" days during which a woman cannot get pregnant, especially if she is relatively young and has irregular cycles. Please take the time to talk to your boyfriend about your choice to be sexual with each other and ways that you can reduce your risk of pregnancy. Try to identify at least one adult or healthcare provider that you can feel comfortable talking to about your choices regarding sex so that you can take care of your sexual health and reduce your risk of pregnancy. Recommended Reading You might find it helpful to read S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College by Heather Corinna or to visit the web site of Planned Parenthood for detailed information about birth control methods and healthcare services. Birth,Control,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/pain-during-sex-first-time/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pain-during-sex-first-time/#comments Mon, 29 Dec 2008 14:00:28 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=485 http://kinseyconfidential.org/pain-during-sex-first-time/feed/ 0 3:25 A woman's first experience, or first several experiences, with vaginal intercourse are sometimes uncomfortable and, occasionally, may even be painful. If a woman has never before ... A woman's first experience, or first several experiences, with vaginal intercourse are sometimes uncomfortable and, occasionally, may even be painful. If a woman has never before had vaginal penetration such as with her own or a partner's fingers, a sex toy or even a tampon, then her vaginal entrance may be largely covered by her hymen. When the hymen - which is a thin area of tissue that is filled with tiny blood vessels - tears, a woman may or may not notice vaginal bleeding, and she may or may not feel discomfort or pain. Lack of Information The tearing of the hymen is not the only reason why a woman may feel discomfort or pain when she first starts having sex. Often times, women may experience uncomfortable sex due to a lack of information about sex. For example, by the time women first start having sex, they may have never learned that using a personal lubricant can make sex more comfortable or pleasurable. Or else they may not have learned that spending more time in foreplay before starting penetration can help a woman's body to create more natural vaginal lubrication, which can also make sex feel more comfortable and pleasurable. Ready To Have Sex? And while many adults often encourage young women and men to wait to have sex until they are older, until they are married or until they are in love, adults may not spend enough time talking to young women and men about some of the benefits of waiting until they are feeling ready to have sex. For example, when two people feel uncomfortable with each other and unsure how to talk to each other about sex, then the sex itself is perhaps less likely to feel comfortable or pleasurable. However, when two people feel comfortable talking to each other about sex, and have spent time considering the emotional and physical risks of having sex - and how they plan to deal with such risks - then they are better situated to experienced more relaxed, pleasurable, comfortable sex. Feeling Comfortable: Physically and Emotionally Before you begin having sex, you might consider ways that you can feel not just physically comfortable (such as through the use of a lubricant or taking your time to begin with gentle penetration), but also ways that you can feel emotionally comfortable with your sexual choices. You and your partner might ask each other about how having sex with affect your relationship, or your expectations for exclusivity, or your plans for reducing the risk of pregnancy or infection. Recommended Reading You can learn more about having sex and how to make it more comfortable by reading S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College by Heather Corinna. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-bleeding-after-sex-rpregnancy-risk/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-bleeding-after-sex-rpregnancy-risk/#comments Thu, 20 Nov 2008 14:00:40 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=424 http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-bleeding-after-sex-rpregnancy-risk/feed/ 0 3:37 Many women experience vaginal bleeding during the first few times that they had sex. When the hymen tears, it does not necessarily tear all at ... Many women experience vaginal bleeding during the first few times that they had sex. When the hymen tears, it does not necessarily tear all at once. It may continue to tear gradually over time, and sexual experience, so it is indeed common to experience slight bleeding on the second or even third occurrence of sex. That said, if you continue to noticed bleeding or if you have any other vaginal symptoms such as irritation, itching, or burning, you should check in with a healthcare provider to rule out other health issues, including sexually transmissible infections, or STIs. All women who are sexually active, even if just once or twice, should have a gynecological exam anyway as a means of caring for their reproductive health. So if you haven't already done so, now may be a good time to make an appointment for a gynecological exam. This is particularly true now that you had unprotected sex with a partner. It is not true that you cannot get pregnant from sex if you bleed. In fact, a woman can absolutely become pregnant from unprotected sex, even if it is her first or second time having sex, and even if she bleeds. The blood, for example, does not "wash out" the semen. If this just recently happened, you might contact your healthcare provider immediately for information about emergency contraception (also called the "morning after pill") which can help to reduce the risk of pregnancy if taken within 5 days of unprotected sex. It is most effective when taken very soon, such as within 3 days, of unprotected intercourse. As you know, many women and men find that alcohol can lower a person's inhibitions and affect their judgment, which can contribute to them doing things that they might not normally do. If you did not want to have sex with this person, or if you did not want to have unprotected sex, but did so because you were drunk, then perhaps this is an opportunity to re-evaluate your choices regarding drinking and sexuality. Some women and men make pacts with their close friends that at least one of them will remain completely sober and will not let the others do things that they say they don't want to do. In the future, perhaps you and your friends can discuss ways of keeping each other safe if you plan to drink. To learn more about women's sexual health, including issues related to safer sex, pregnancy risk and the relationship between alcohol and sex, you might read Our Bodies, Ourselves by the Boston Women's Health Book Collective. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-cuts-torn-frenulum/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-cuts-torn-frenulum/#comments Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:00:48 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=409 http://kinseyconfidential.org/genital-cuts-torn-frenulum/feed/ 0 3:16 Whenever people are rough or forceful with their bodies, it is possible to have some risk - even slight - of damage or injury. In ... Whenever people are rough or forceful with their bodies, it is possible to have some risk - even slight - of damage or injury. In regard to sexual behavior such as masturbation and intercourse, most sex injuries are fairly minor such as small cuts or tears. For example, many women have had the experience of noticing slight bleeding from vaginal sex as a result of getting tiny cuts or tears in their vagina or vulva as a result of intense friction from sex. Men, too, may experience minor cuts or tears on their genitals from intense solitary masturbation, mutual masturbation, intercourse or other sexual activities. These cuts may be along any part of the genitals that are torn or stressed during sex, including the frenulum - which is on the underside of a man's penis, just below the glans. Both men and women can reduce their risk of genital cuts and tears from sex by using a personal lubricant during sexual activity. You and your partner may find that using a lubricant helps to make mutual masturbation feel more comfortable and pleasurable, while reducing the risk of tearing too. I'd also encourage you to talk to your partner and let him know that while you enjoy the way that he masturbates your penis, you sometimes feel some discomfort and worry that your frenulum will tear. You are the only one that can feel the discomfort, since it's your body, and it is important to give him this information so that he can be sexual in ways with you that are both enjoyable, sexy and as safe as can be . If you do develop a genital cut or tear, rest assured that most small genital cuts and tears heal within a day or two. If you develop any small cuts or tears, you may find that it is more comfortable to avoid or modify genital stimulation (such as masturbation) until the cut heals. Like cuts in other places on the body, it is important to keep genital cuts clean. If you develop cuts or tears that are larger, that are uncomfortable, painful, or that concern you, please always check in with your healthcare provider. Although sex injuries and complications are usually minor, sometimes they do require the attention of a trained healthcare provider and it is important to take care of your sexual health in this way. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-with-virgin-bleeding/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-with-virgin-bleeding/#comments Mon, 28 Jul 2008 16:35:35 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/07/28/qa-bleeding-the-first-time/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-with-virgin-bleeding/feed/ 0 3:41 It is true that sometimes a small amount of bleeding occurs during the first time - or first few times- that a woman has vaginal ... It is true that sometimes a small amount of bleeding occurs during the first time - or first few times- that a woman has vaginal intercourse. Usually the bleeding is due to tearing of a woman's hymen, which is a thin layer of tissue that's rich with blood vessels and may cover a portion of the vaginal entrance. The Hymen And Bleeding While nearly all girls are born with a hymen, the size of the hymen can vary greatly. Also, some women's hymens are gradually torn over the years due to self-masturbation, tampon use or sexual activities such as finger stimulation. As a result, by the time a woman first experiences intercourse, she may notice only small amounts of bleeding, or none at all. Others notice larger amounts of bleeding. Some couples continue with sex when bleeding occurs; others are more comfortable stopping and checking things out. Some women experience physical discomfort with early attempts at intercourse; others do not. These are reasons why it is important to continue checking in with each other. You might even choose to have sex on a towel or dark sheets if concerns about bleeding interfere with feeling relaxed and open to pleasure. Vaginal Tearing Bleeding can also be caused by vaginal tearing. A woman might notice this during sex or afterwards, or even the next. If at any time a woman feels discomfort, pain or has concerns about bleeding, she might consider checking in with her healthcare provider (which is recommended prior to becoming sexually active, anyway). Using Lubricant The risk of vaginal tearing may be reduced by using a store-bought lubricant during intercourse. It can be applied to a man's penis (over the condom) and to a woman's vaginal entrance, to make intercourse more comfortable. If you're using latex condoms, choose a water or silicone based lubricant. Lubricants can be incorporated into your sex play in fun, sexy, pleasurable ways. You can watch each other apply it to your own genitals, or take turns and apply it on each otherrsquo;s bodies. Safer, more comfortable sex can absolutely be enjoyable. Good Communication Regardless of your partner's level of experience, it can be good to ask each other questions like, Are you comfortable?, Shall we keep going?, Do you want to stop?, or How does this feel? Good communication can help you and your partner decide whether you want to continue sexual activities, try different things, vary your position or rhythm, or stop altogether. Before deciding to be sexual together, people often remember to ask each other important questions about sexually transmitted infections (STI) and condom use. However, they sometimes shy away from asking equally important questions about the emotional side of sex. Letting your partner know how you feel about sharing sexual experiences -- your values, expectations, excitement and concerns -- and asking how he or she feels in return can help deepen your relationship and bring you closer to developing the relationship you desire. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/non-lubricated-condoms-vaginal-bleeding/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/non-lubricated-condoms-vaginal-bleeding/#comments Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:00:43 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2008/04/24/qa-non-lubricated-condoms-and-bleeding/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/non-lubricated-condoms-vaginal-bleeding/feed/ 0 3:44 Although the vagina can withstand quite a lot when it comes to sex, it remains a very sensitive part of womenrsquo;s bodies. The vagina can ... Although the vagina can withstand quite a lot when it comes to sex, it remains a very sensitive part of womenrsquo;s bodies. The vagina can easily tear during sex, especially when the sex is full of friction as can occur during sex that is not well lubricated. Most Cuts Are Small The good news is that most vaginal cuts and tears are small, and women may only notice very light vaginal bleeding such as when they go to the bathroom, like you noticed. In cases of light cuts and light bleeding, the vagina tends to heal on its own in most cases, and often fairly quickly, such as within a day or two. It is likely to heal more quickly if you donrsquo;t further aggravate it, such as with more intercourse or even finger penetration, while it heals. If Bleeding Is Heavier Now, if you feel like the bleeding is moderate or heavy, please consider checking in with a healthcare provider, such as your gynecologist. You might also take out a mirror and look at your vaginal entrance or the parts of your vulva to see if there are any visible tears. Some women even ask their partner to look for them, as it can be difficult to see clearly when it is your own body. If you see visible cuts, you might call your healthcare provider to ask for advice. They may suggest that you come in for a visit or, if it seems more mild to them, they may suggest some at-home or over-the-counter treatment. Reducing Future Risk Herersquo;s how to reduce your risk of tearing in the future: Condoms that are not lubricated may feel particularly uncomfortable for many women, as it adds to the friction of intercourse. To make sex more comfortable, add some store-bought lubricant of your own to the outside of the condom ndash; once it is already on the penis ndash; or to your own vaginal entrance. You can also increase your own natural vaginal lubrication by spending more time in foreplay, doing things that feel sexually exciting and pleasant to you, however, you may still find that sex feels better with a little store-bought lubricant and thatrsquo;s okay too. Talking About Painful Sex Finally, I want to commend both you and your boyfriend for the way that you handled having painful sex. Not all women feel comfortable telling their partner that sex hurts, or asking them to stop. Also, not all men are respectful of their partnerrsquo;s choices to stop sex, nor are all couples often careful enough to use condoms when they want to reduce their risk of pregnancy or infection. You two have made choices that contribute to the strength of your relationship, and thatrsquo;s important. Bodies,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/new-sex-position-painful/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/new-sex-position-painful/#comments Wed, 07 Nov 2007 17:38:20 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2007/11/07/qa-new-sex-position-is-painful/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/new-sex-position-painful/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-bleeding-during-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-bleeding-during-sex/#comments Wed, 23 Aug 2006 20:59:21 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2006/08/23/qa-what-caused-vaginal-bleeding-during-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/vaginal-bleeding-during-sex/feed/ 2