Q&A: Pregnancy Risk From Using Condoms And Not Ejaculating

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QUESTION: My girlfriend and I are both virgins and she was scared that she could get pregnant and we had sex and I used a condom but I didn’t ejaculate. Now she is scared that she is pregnant. Could she be?

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If you didn’t get any sperm inside your girlfriend’s vagina, or any pre-ejaculate (also called “pre-cum” – the thin liquid that comes out of some men’s penises while they are feeling aroused), then she could not become pregnant from you.

Take A Pregnancy Test

It is more likely that your girlfriend is still just feeling anxious or worried about becoming pregnant when she is not ready to become pregnant. If she is concerned that she might be pregnant, she should get an at-home pregnancy test when an adequate amount of time has passed (check each box to see how soon a particular test can be used) or check in with her healthcare provider for a pregnancy test.

Talk To Your Partner

If you or your girlfriend are anxious about sex for these or other reasons, it may be that you are not ready to be having sex right now, as the anxiety may make sex feel more stressful than pleasurable.

Perhaps this is a good time to talk more with each other about your decision to be sexual together and how you’re feeling about it, as well as how you would feel is you became pregnant together, or what steps you could take to feel more comfortable about your romantic and sexual relationship.

Or it may be an indication that you need to do other things – like talk more about how you plan to prevent pregnancy – such as correct and consistent condom use and maybe hormonal contraception, such as the birth control pill, patch, shot or ring – so that you can both feel more at ease. In that case, talking with a healthcare provider and learning more about your options for birth control will likely be very helpful – you can learn more at Planned Parenthood’s Website as they have a comprehensive birth control section.

Experience Takes Time

If your girlfriend has not yet had a gynecological exam, she should do so, as this is important for all women who are sexually active. If you feel comfortable talking to your parents or other older family members such as aunts or uncles, they might also serve as good resources for information and to talk about any feelings you might be having about these changes to your relationship.

Becoming sexually experienced is something that doesn’t happen over night, and certainly doesn’t happen the very first time that you have sex. It takes time and it can be helpful to have trusted people to talk to, not only for information but also for support.

Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.)

is a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, Associate Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and author of several books including Sex Made Easy and Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.
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