Q&A: Do My Wife & I Have Too Many Orgasms?

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QUESTION: For the past few years, my wife and I have preferred to only have vaginal or anal intercourse during about 10-15% of our sexual activities. The other 95-90% of our sexual encounters are variations of cunnilingus and/or fellatio. Instead of foreplay we always conclude in orgasms (my wife generally has multiples). With our frequency of cunnilingus and/or fellatio being at least once each morning and once each night, are we experiencing too many or too intense orgasmic events in our lives?

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vagina and tongue finger puppets

Photo: kimli (Flickr)

Some couples, like you and your wife, engage in oral sex with greater frequency. Some couples never have penile-vaginal intercourse.

Nope! There’s no such thing as too many orgasmic events (or too many unorgasmic events) unless for some reason you feel it’s too much.

If you and your wife both enjoy your sex life, then that sounds like a very good position to be in. Although vaginal intercourse is perhaps the most common/frequently practiced sexual behavior among male-female couples, that’s not the case for all couples.

Some couples, like you and your wife, engage in oral sex with greater frequency. Some couples never have penile-vaginal intercourse.

Some engage in sex toy play more often or making out or sensual touching with greater frequency than other sex acts.

And fortunately, there are no known negative effects of having frequent orgasms. Have fun exploring together!

Next Question: Can An Anti-Anxiety Drug Interfere With Having An Orgasm?

I have had anxiety problems for about the last year or longer. My psychiatrist prescribed Lexapro in May for me and it has been helpful. In the last year, however, I have also experienced Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). My symptoms have been pretty bad and painful. In late summer, my physician prescribed Elavil for me to help with the pain. I usually masturbate about once a day. In the last month or so, I have stopped masturbating because I am not able to reach an orgasm. Is this because of the medicine I’m on? (I’m a woman if it matters).

Read Dr. Debby Herbenick’s response.

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Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.)

is a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, Associate Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and author of several books including Sex Made Easy and Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.
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