Q&A: Maximizing Sexual Pleasure Through Masturbation

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QUESTION: I am a young female without a sex partner, so I would like to know how to achieve my most intense orgasm during masturbation.

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Photo: Joaquinuy (Flickr)

In the realm of sexual fantasies, anything is possible.

Masturbation is something that many women and men, whether single or in a relationship, enjoy as part of their sexual experiences.

Focus On Your Intention

There are many ways to enjoy pleasurable masturbation experiences. However, let’s start with why you want to have one.

I mention this only because I sometimes find that I meet people – especially women – who are masturbating and trying to have orgasms during masturbation only because they feel that they “should” or that it’s something that most women their age do.

In fact, some women and men never masturbate.

Other people masturbate at some points in their lives but not others. If you’re not particularly interested in masturbating, you might reassure yourself that you don’t have to in order to be normal or like other women.

If, on the other hand, you’re interested in masturbating and/or you enjoy it and would simply like to explore various ways to spruce it up, there are a number of ways to do this.

Engage Your Mind

A key way to enhance your masturbation is to engage your mind. Try to think of something that you find sexy.

This varies from person to person. For some people, it’s thinking about having sex with one or more women. For others, it’s thinking about sex with one or more men.

In the realm of sexual fantasies, anything is possible. You might fantasize about being dominant, submissive, stripping, engaging in oral sex, engaging in anal sex, dressing a certain way, having group sex, having sex with a stranger, kissing an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, being sexual with someone you always wanted to, seeing a celebrity naked, and so on.

Other times, people engage their mind by watching porn. You can do these things alone or you can do them while masturbating with your hands and/or a vibrator.

Keep in mind, too, that there are many ways to masturbate. While some women predominantly stimulate their clitoris, others focus stimulation on their labia (vaginal lips).

Some women stimulate their own breasts, perhaps with lubricant or lotion to make it feel more sensual. Other times, women stimulate the area around their anus, or they insert something inside their anus and rectum for stimulation.

To learn more about women’s masturbation, check out my book Because It Feels Good: A Woman’ s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. or the book Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mindblowing Sex.

Next Question:Sex For Only 20 Seconds, And Pregnancy Risk

I had sex with my girlfriend without a condom, for only 20 seconds, is it possible she will get pregnant?

Read Dr. Debby Herbenick’s response.

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Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.)

is a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, Associate Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and author of several books including Sex Made Easy and Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.
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