Q&A: How Can I Find Someone Who Shares My Foot Fetish?

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QUESTION: I have a huge foot fetish, but I can't find any girls who like it.

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red high heels hanging from a woman's feet

Photo: markusram (flickr)

Whether we’re talking about a foot fetish or something more vanilla and mainstream like oral sex, the fact is that just because you like it, doesn’t mean your partner has to be into it every single time you have sex.

There are certainly many women in the world who are happy to have a partner with a foot fetish.

Finding Fetish-Friendly Partners

You might be able to join online communities, such as through Fet Life, or be open about your fetish on a site like Adult Friend Finder or through various kink communities either online or in your own community.

There are also many women in the world who may have never had a partner with a foot fetish but who might be open to it so long as it were presented in a non-threatening way.

It’s okay to like sex in ways that are slightly outside the mainstream. In fact, many people prefer it or at least enjoy the variety that it brings to sex.

As you take time to get to know someone, you can feel out opportunities to share more about your likes and dislikes when it comes to sex, as well as the kinds of things you would be open to.

Introduce Variety

Keep in mind that sex is a give and take. A common mistake that some people make is to make everything about their fetish or sexual interest.

Whether we’re talking about a foot fetish or something more vanilla and mainstream like oral sex, the fact is that just because you like it, doesn’t mean your partner has to be into it every single time you have sex.

Including foot play in some of your sexual experiences, but not all of them, may be something that more women can get into than if you were to try and make every single sexual experience center around foot play.

If you do tell a partner about your foot fetish, try to be clear about what you’re into and what you want to do and also that you’re flexible about how it plays out between you and your partner.

Again, just because you want to have sex a certain way doesn’t mean it will always happen that way.

Hopefully you will find a partner who is open-minded about sex, even if some of the things you are asking her to do are new for her at first.

And hopefully you will be just as open-minded with her. Doing so may mean that you each learn a few new things and get to experiment and explore together.

Next Question: Cunnilingus, Fellatio, And Safer Sex

Is cunnilingus an unsafe practice? What are the risks of STIs with cunnilingus for both partners, given that body fluids are exchanged during it?

Read Dr. Debby Herbenick’s response.

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Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.)

is a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, Associate Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and author of several books including Sex Made Easy and Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.
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