http://kinseyconfidential.org Just another WordPress weblog Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:59:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 en hourly 1 © aschweig@indiana.edu () aschweig@indiana.edu() 1440 Just another WordPress weblog aschweig@indiana.edu No no http://kinseyconfidential.org/wp-content/themes/kinsey/images/kinsey-podcast-300.jpg http://kinseyconfidential.org 144 144 http://kinseyconfidential.org/international-transgender-day-rememberence/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/international-transgender-day-rememberence/#comments Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:49:57 +0000 Natalie Ingraham (M.P.H.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1304 http://kinseyconfidential.org/international-transgender-day-rememberence/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbate-sleep-normal/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbate-sleep-normal/#comments Thu, 19 Nov 2009 14:00:11 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1279 http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbate-sleep-normal/feed/ 0 3:20 Although uncommon, I have heard from quite a few men ndash; and a few women, too ndash; who have had experiences similar to yours. Itrsquo;s ... Although uncommon, I have heard from quite a few men ndash; and a few women, too ndash; who have had experiences similar to yours. Itrsquo;s unclear how many people act sexually during their sleep but when it does happen, people often donrsquo;t even know that they masturbate or attempt to be sexual with other people until they either approach someone for sex while sleeping or until they begin sharing a bed with a partner, at which point onersquo;s partner notices the behavior. In your case, your partner has noticed that yoursquo;ve been masturbating during your sleep. It seems fairly common for women and men to recall experiences of orgasm during sleep or even to wake up in the middle of the night and find that they are rubbing their genitals against the bed, possibly in the middle of a sexual dream. What Happens When You Sleep What is less common is active masturbation or sexual behavior while sleeping. As you are sleeping when this happens, you cannot know what you are doing. As such, you might ask your partner how it is that you are masturbating while sleeping. Are you using your hands? Rubbing against the bed? Do you tend to speak while masturbating? And are your eyes open or closed? Talking to a Healthcare Provider This type of information may help your healthcare provider to better figure out what may be happening during your sleep. You may even ask your healthcare provider about the possibility of being referred to a sleep clinic as sexual behavior during sleep ndash; what has been called sexsomnia or sleepsex - is often associated with sleep disorders. You may be able to undergo testing to determine how it is that your sleep cycles may be functioning. In some cases, medication can help to improve your sleep. Communicate With Your Partner In the mean time, you may find it helpful to talk with your partner about this behavior. It is unlikely a sign of a psychological condition. Rather, your sleep masturbation is more likely to be a symptom of a sleep disorder or to be a normal variation of sleep behavior. You and your partner might want to brainstorm about how to handle this while you decide whether you want to meet with a healthcare provider about it, which I would recommend doing. Some couples enjoy sleepsex or these types of sexual behaviors that occur while one person is asleep and the other is awake. Others feel uncomfortable in response to them. Problems With Sleepsex It can be important to seek attention from a healthcare provider as, in some cases, people have attempted to have non-consensual sex with others while asleep. In some instances, sleeping adults have even tried to have sex with children, and not recalled any of it after the fact. You can imagine how traumatic such an experience would be for everyone involved. To learn more about sexsomnia or sleepsex, please check in with your healthcare provider or a sleep clinic. Thank you for coming to us with your question. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/hooking-todays-rewards-1960s-sexual-revolution/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/hooking-todays-rewards-1960s-sexual-revolution/#comments Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:00:12 +0000 Eric Anthony Grollman (M.A.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/hooking-todays-rewards-1960s-sexual-revolution/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/hooking-todays-rewards-1960s-sexual-revolution/feed/ 1 http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-easily-achieve-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-easily-achieve-orgasm/#comments Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:00:06 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1278 http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-easily-achieve-orgasm/feed/ 1 http://kinseyconfidential.org/safe-put-small-items-anus/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/safe-put-small-items-anus/#comments Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:00:07 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1258 http://kinseyconfidential.org/safe-put-small-items-anus/feed/ 1 2:31 Generally speaking, it is not a good idea to put small round items ndash; such as ben wa balls or golf balls ndash; directly into ... Generally speaking, it is not a good idea to put small round items ndash; such as ben wa balls or golf balls ndash; directly into the anus. Unlike the vagina, which is only a few inches long and ends at the cervix, which has a very tiny opening, the anus leads into the rectum, where objects can get more easily lost. Losing Objects in the Rectum The rectum is S-shaped so itrsquo;s not just the size, but the shape of this part of the body, that makes it challenging to get objects out once they have gone inside the body. People commonly get even larger items lost inside their rectum ndash; items such as bottles, light bulbs and even salad tongs have been lost or lodged inside peoplersquo;s rectums and have required visits to the emergency room in order to have them removed by a doctor. Removing objects from a personrsquo;s rectum requires great care as the objects can cause harm to a personrsquo;s rectum if they are left inside too long, if they have sharp edges or if they are removed in difficult ways. Toys For Anal Play If you are interested in using objects for anal stimulation, consider using toys that are meant specifically for anal play. There are a variety of anal toys on the market such as butt plugs and anal beads. Because you are interested in round objects, you may find anal beads to be of particular interest. They come in a variety of sizes. Beads that come on cotton strings are best thought of as single use items as it is impossible to clean the string in between uses. Other styles of anal beads are made of silicone or other materials and are easier to keep clean. More Information To learn more about sex toys and safer, more comfortable anal pleasuring check out The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex or Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Content,Type,,Pleasure,amp;,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/race-ethnicity-affects-responds-online-dating/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/race-ethnicity-affects-responds-online-dating/#comments Tue, 10 Nov 2009 11:00:02 +0000 Eric Anthony Grollman (M.A.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/raceethnicity-affects-responds-online-dating/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/race-ethnicity-affects-responds-online-dating/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/normal-masturbate-times-day/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/normal-masturbate-times-day/#comments Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:00:42 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1257 http://kinseyconfidential.org/normal-masturbate-times-day/feed/ 0 2:21 There is no one frequency of sex or masturbation thatrsquo;s considered normal and masturbating two to three times a day is certainly within the typical ... There is no one frequency of sex or masturbation thatrsquo;s considered normal and masturbating two to three times a day is certainly within the typical range of frequencies that are reported by young men who are about your age. Many Reasons to Masturbate People tend to masturbate more often when they are feeling highly aroused or sexually excited, whether or not they have a partner or are in a relationship. In your case, you are in a relationship with a woman but shersquo;s not physically near you. Perhaps you talk to her on the phone, text each other or just think about her and feel sexually aroused. And then maybe at times you decide to masturbate to release any sexual tension you may have, because it feels pleasurable, because you enjoy fantasizing about your girlfriend, or to help yourself fall asleep. There are many different reasons why men and women masturbate. Some couples even masturbate together. In long distance relationships, some couples enjoy participating in phone sex in which they talk about their sexual fantasies or what they wish they could do together. Other times, couples tell each other about how they may have masturbated earlier in the day or the previous night thinking about their partner. There's Nothing Harmful About Masturbation Fortunately, masturbation is not bad for a personrsquo;s health. Masturbation can help people to feel calm or relaxed and it can also just be a lot of fun, whether itrsquo;s done alone or with a partner. Additional Resources To learn more about masturbation, check out The Big Book of Masturbation. To learn more about solo masturbation, partnered masturbation or different types of sex play with a partner, check out The Guide to Getting It On. Content,Type,,Pleasure,amp;,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/overdue-list-fun-interesting-sexuality-links/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/overdue-list-fun-interesting-sexuality-links/#comments Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:42:00 +0000 Natalie Ingraham (M.P.H.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/overdue-list-fun-interesting-sexuality-links/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/overdue-list-fun-interesting-sexuality-links/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/penetrative-sex-pergnant/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/penetrative-sex-pergnant/#comments Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:00:05 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1256 http://kinseyconfidential.org/penetrative-sex-pergnant/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/sins-invalid/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sins-invalid/#comments Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:57:50 +0000 Natalie Ingraham (M.P.H.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/sins-invalid-sexuality-disability-theater-meet-sf/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sins-invalid/feed/ 1 http://kinseyconfidential.org/sociological-imagination-introducing-eric-anthony-grollman/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sociological-imagination-introducing-eric-anthony-grollman/#comments Tue, 03 Nov 2009 11:02:09 +0000 Eric Anthony Grollman (M.A.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/sociological-imagination-introducing-eric-anthony-grollman/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sociological-imagination-introducing-eric-anthony-grollman/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-masturbate-lesbian/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-masturbate-lesbian/#comments Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:00:41 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1255 http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-masturbate-lesbian/feed/ 0 3:16 Determining Sexual Orientation Great question! Although many people wonder if there is an easy way to know if a person is gay, straight, bisexual or some ... Determining Sexual Orientation Great question! Although many people wonder if there is an easy way to know if a person is gay, straight, bisexual or some other sexual orientation, the fact is that there is not. Many scientists consider a personrsquo;s sexual orientation to reflect a larger pattern of their romantic and sexual attractions such that women who identify as straight tend, for the most part, to be romantically and sexually attracted to men whereas women who identify as lesbian tend to be romantically and sexually attracted to women. Experiences, Thoughts, and Labels Don't Always Match Up Of course, few things in life are cut and dry and neither is sexual orientation. Some women who identify as heterosexual have explored sexually with other women. They may have kissed other women or engaged in oral sex, breast touching or genital touching with other women. Then again, some women who identify as heterosexual have never engaged in sexual activity with women in waking life, but they may have had pleasurable, satisfying sex dreams about women. Or, like you, they may find that their preferred fantasies during masturbation involve women. The fact that you get turned on thinking of other girls doesnrsquo;t minimize the fact that you also get turned on by your boyfriend. By the same token, many lesbian women have had some type of sexual contact with men. Some lesbian identified women may include men in their sexual fantasies or may have also had enjoyable sex dreams involving men. Just because a lesbian woman enjoys thinking about men or masturbating to images of men ndash; or images of men and women having sex together ndash; does not mean that her true orientation is heterosexual. Research About Sexual Attraction Pioneering sexuality researcher Dr. Alfred Kinsey suggested that sexuality was a rather fluid concept. He found that people sometimes experienced different sexual attractions at different points in their lives and that a personrsquo;s sexual behaviors, dreams and fantasies could vary. He also felt that, based on his research, more people would be attracted to both men and women if only society didnrsquo;t suppress these attractions. Labels Can Change Throughout Life Whether you identify as heterosexual, lesbian or bisexual is up to you. You may find that one label suits you well now and, later in life, you may find that a different sexual orientation label better reflects your feelings and attractions. However you decide to label yourself, try to let go of any stress or anxiety about how you ldquo;shouldrdquo; or ldquo;shouldnrsquo;trdquo; feel sexually. What you find arousing and exciting during your partnered sex play as well as during your masturbation fantasies is likely to keep evolving with time. By keeping an open and accepting mind toward your own experience, you can continue to explore your sexuality in positive ways. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Sexual,Orientation aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/iu-students-savage-love/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/iu-students-savage-love/#comments Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:55:37 +0000 Marie Metelnick (M.A.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1271 http://kinseyconfidential.org/iu-students-savage-love/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-wetness-vagina/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-wetness-vagina/#comments Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:00:17 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1254 http://kinseyconfidential.org/condoms-wetness-vagina/feed/ 0 3:42 You both make good points about condoms and lubrication. Rather than focusing on who is right, letrsquo;s take a step back and talk about condoms, ... You both make good points about condoms and lubrication. Rather than focusing on who is right, letrsquo;s take a step back and talk about condoms, vaginal lubrication and store-bought lube. The Benefits of Using Condoms Using condoms ndash; as you pointed out ndash; can have significant benefits. Using a condom during sex can greatly reduce the risk of passing several but not all sexually transmissible infections (STI) including HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea and the human papillomavirus (HPV). Condoms also offer good protection against pregnancy as they prevent sperm and egg from meeting. But yoursquo;re right that as protective as condoms can be, they sometimes make sex feel more dry. After all, sexual intercourse involves a great deal of friction as your penis moves in and out of her body. nbsp;Over time, the lubricant that comes on many lubricated condoms may not feel as though it is quite enough. If the condom gets to dry, there may be an increased risk of the condom breaking. Affect on Lubrication That said, many women ndash; and young women in particular ndash; lubricate sufficiently for comfortable, pleasurable vaginal sex. nbsp;But that doesnrsquo;t mean that there are never times when adding a little store-bought lubricant to her genitals or to the outside of the condoms can help sex to feel better for one or both partners. Sometimes vaginal lubrication feels reduced if a woman is on a low estrogen birth control pill, if she is taking certain medications or if she has just taken a warm bath or shower, which may slightly dry the vagina. nbsp;Other times couples donrsquo;t spent a lot of time in foreplay, or they decide to have a quickie, which may not leave sufficient time for a woman to produce much natural vaginal lubrication. Also, sometimes sex lasts for quite a long time ndash; so long that most women would not keep lubricating in amounts sufficient for comfortable sex or to protect against condom breakage. Adding Extra Lubrication As such, no matter how well lubricated your girlfriend may feel, it may be a good idea to keep some water-based or silicone-based lubricant on hand. Then, if sex feels as though it is becoming dry and you are worried about condom breakage or just feel that lubricant would make sex more pleasurable, you can add a small dab of lubricant to either one of your genitals. There are a variety of lubricant types on the market. Some adult stores and web sites sell sampler packs of water and silicone based lubricants so that women and men can find a lubricant that they like the feel of and that they donrsquo;t find irritating. Also, if condom safety is your main concern, you can also keep a second condom on hand. That way, if the first condom appears to dry out, you can stop intercourse, remove the first condom, put a new condom on, and then resume intercourse. More Information To learn more about sexual play involving condoms and lubricants, check out my book, Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Common,Problems,,Content,Type,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/traditional-relationship-values-held-gender-sexuality/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/traditional-relationship-values-held-gender-sexuality/#comments Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:00:47 +0000 Eric Anthony Grollman (M.A.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/traditional-relationship-values-held-gender-sexuality/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/traditional-relationship-values-held-gender-sexuality/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/regain-erection-quicker-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/regain-erection-quicker-orgasm/#comments Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:00:40 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1253 http://kinseyconfidential.org/regain-erection-quicker-orgasm/feed/ 0 3:24 Men Vs. Women Although menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s bodies are similar in many ways (both sexes have two eyes, two ears, a nose, two legs, etc) there ... Men Vs. Women Although menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s bodies are similar in many ways (both sexes have two eyes, two ears, a nose, two legs, etc) there are also some key differences. For example, not only do males and females vary in terms of their genitals ndash; the whole ldquo;boys have a penis and girls have a vaginardquo; ndash; but our genitals and sexual response work in different ways too. Refractory Period Unlike women (who are capable of multiple orgasms), men have whatrsquo;s called a refractory period which is the time between one ejaculation and their ability to ejaculate again. Young men, particularly those in their teens and twenties, can often have more than one ejaculation in a short period of time. Sometimes after sex that ends in ejaculation, a guy can keep having sex with only a slight decrease in the firmness of his erection. Mostly, though, it takes time for a man to get a second erection after he has already ejaculated (whether that ejaculation was from masturbation, oral sex, mutual masturbation, vaginal sex or anal sex). Sometimes it may only take a few moments but often it takes at least 15 or 30 minutes for men ndash; even young, college-aged men like yourself ndash; to get a second erection after they ejaculate. Welcome to your refractory period! As men age, their refractory period typically lengthens meaning that it often takes longer for men to get a second erection after they ejaculate. Some men may need to wait hours before they can ejaculate again or get a second erection. Other men may need to wait a day or longer. Can It Be Changed? There is no way to change onersquo;s refractory period and no special technique to being able to have multiple ejaculations in a short period of time. Some men pay attention to how their particular bodies work and may notice that itrsquo;s easier for them to become erect again if they are working out, eating well, getting sufficient sleep, abstaining from cigarettes or alcohol (both of which may impair menrsquo;s erectile function), or if they are feeling extremely mentally or physically aroused. Other times, men find it difficult to pinpoint any specific pattern to the way their erections work. Other Ways To Enjoy Each Other The good news is that pleasurable, enjoyable sex doesnrsquo;t always require an erection. Pleasurable sex isnrsquo;t always about intercourse or what some may think of as ldquo;normalrdquo; or ldquo;standardrdquo; sex. If you want to keep exploring each otherrsquo;s bodies, then whether or not you have a second erection, you and your partner can continue to kiss, to stimulate each othersrsquo; genitals with your hands, to massage each otherrsquo;s bodies all over, to play with sex toys or to lay in bed and talk and laugh. More Information You can learn more about menrsquo;s sexuality, including erections, ejaculation and enhancing sex play with a partner, in The New Male Sexuality. Content,Type,,Pleasure,amp;,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No