Q&A: Death Grip During Masturbation – Will It Translate To Sex?

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QUESTION: I heard that people who develop a habitual style of masturbating won’t be able to respond to the stimulus of a vagina when they have sexual intercourse. I use a death grip style. Am I doomed because of how I masturbate? How do I prepare myself for sexual intercourse with a woman?

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Some men masturbate in such a unique way that when they eventually have oral sex or intercourse with a partner, it doesn’t feel the same.

Although “death grip” isn’t a scientific or technical term to describe a particularly tight masturbation style, it is a term that’s somewhat popular to use.

What is This Unusual Feeling?

Men who enjoy a “death grip” masturbation style are not doomed to experience a certain type of sex life. However, some men masturbate in such a unique way that when they eventually have oral sex or intercourse with a partner, it doesn’t feel the same.

As a result, they may end up finding it difficult to experience orgasm or ejaculation with a partner. That doesn’t mean that they won’t – it just may mean that it may time some time, practice and adjustment.

After all, the typical vagina, mouth or anus feel very different from a very tight hand grip. Then again, the vagina, mouth and anus feel different from quite a lot of things.

For example, some men masturbate by rubbing against their bed or pillows and then find themselves in a similar situation in which sex with a partner feels very different. Again, it can take time to learn to orgasm or ejaculate from sex with a partner.

Preparing for Performance

If you’d like to increase your chances of ejaculating from sex with a partner, consider varying your masturbation technique. Loosen your grip. Use lubricant sometimes and a dry hand other times. Use your right hand sometimes and your left hand other times. See if you can train your body to respond to different paces and rhythms and touch.

When you do have sex with a partner, try not to worry too much about ejaculating.

Many women don’t orgasm when they first have sex with a partner, either. It often takes people time and practice to become familiar with each other’s bodies and comfortable or aroused enough to experience orgasm with each other.

More Information

You can learn more about men’s sexual issues in The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld.

Next Question: Using Vibrator Caused Vaginal Bleeding

“I bought a vibrator shaped like a penis to start experimenting with sex toys. I’d never done anything that involved penetrating my vagina before, and the first time I used the toy, I barely put it in and my vagina started bleeding. I’m worried that I might have an infection of some sort that I never knew about.”

Read Dr. Debby Herbenick’s response.

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Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.)

is a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, Associate Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and author of several books including Sex Made Easy and Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.
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