Q&A: Clit Sensitivty During Sex, Mixture Between Pleasure And Pain

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QUESTION: What do I do when my clit becomes very sensitive during sex with my boyfriend so much so that its a mix between pleasure and pain?

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black and white picture of nervous system

Photo: BasiliskSam (flickr)

The female clitoris is full of nerve endings and is consequently one of the most sensitive spots on a woman’s body.

Different Folks, Different Strokes

The female clitoris is full of nerve endings and is consequently one of the most sensitive spots on a woman’s body. Because of this enormous sensitivity, some women enjoy direct stimulation of their glans clitoris – the part of the clitoris that can be seen from the outside of the body.

For this same reason of sensitivity, however, some women do not enjoy direct stimulation as it may feel uncomfortable or even painful.

That said, as some women feel as though they orgasm more easily with direct clitoral stimulation, they may feel as though they have to mentally push through a brief experience of discomfort or pain in order to experience the pleasure or orgasm waiting on the other side of them.

Switching Up The Stimulation

You might consider if there are other ways to help yourself experience more pleasure and less pain during sex.

For example, some women find that using a water-based lubricant during clitoral stimulation can help to ease pleasure and orgasm, while decreasing discomfort or pain. After all, lubricant can help to decrease friction that occurs when two body parts – such as the fingers and clitoris – rub together.

You and your boyfriend might also explore other ways of stimulation.

For example, have you tried exploring less direct clitoral stimulation? Or less firm stimulation? The clitoris may be stimulated with fingers, sex toys (such as vibrators), a tongue or lips during oral sex, or a penis or the entire pubic area during vaginal intercourse. What kinds of stimulation have you tried?

By varying the type of stimulation as well as the pace and level of firm or gentle stimulation, you may find that you can create a more comfortable experience of stimulation that remains pleasurable.

More Information

To learn more about female sexual pleasure and sexual technique, check out Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction or Moregasm.

Next Question: What Are The Chances She Is Pregnant?

I met a girl at a party and things got heated. I was in my boxers and she was naked. I never penetrated her and I didn’t ejaculate, but I noticed a little precum on my boxers. I made contact with it and later fingered her after wiping my hand off. I had not ejaculated in 4 days. Is there any risk of pregnancy involved here?

Read Dr. Debby Herbenick’s response.

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Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.)

is a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, Associate Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and author of several books including Sex Made Easy and Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.
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Comments

  • http://www.facebook.com/MelissaJonesPhD Melissa Jones

    Often times in order to have more profound orgasms, it may be necessary to push through the “pain” and push the orgasm to the next level.  If a woman doesn’t know this, she may fear that beyond the pain is just more pain, but beyond the pain is more pleasure.