http://kinseyconfidential.org Just another WordPress weblog Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:59:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 en hourly 1 © aschweig@indiana.edu () aschweig@indiana.edu() 1440 Just another WordPress weblog aschweig@indiana.edu No no http://kinseyconfidential.org/wp-content/themes/kinsey/images/kinsey-podcast-300.jpg http://kinseyconfidential.org 144 144 http://kinseyconfidential.org/penetrative-sex-pergnant/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/penetrative-sex-pergnant/#comments Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:00:05 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1256 http://kinseyconfidential.org/penetrative-sex-pergnant/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/virgin-orgasm-intercourse/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/virgin-orgasm-intercourse/#comments Thu, 07 May 2009 13:00:04 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/qa-ways-orgasm-intercourse/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/virgin-orgasm-intercourse/feed/ 0 3:25 People generally think of a virgin as a woman or a man who has not intercourse, although there are different definitions for virginity that people ... People generally think of a virgin as a woman or a man who has not intercourse, although there are different definitions for virginity that people sometimes use. Regardless of your definition of virginity ndash; in other words, regardless of whatever sexual behavior you have or have not done (such as had vaginal intercourse) ndash; women and men can experience sexual pleasure and sometimes even orgasm from a variety of different types of stimulation. So yes, even though your girlfriend has not had sex, she is still likely capable of experiencing orgasm from different types of sexual stimulation, such as stimulation of her clitoris. Difficulty with Orgasm During Intercourse Letrsquo;s back up a few steps, though. First, it may be helpful for you to know that many women find it difficult to orgasm during intercourse. Itrsquo;s not uncommon for it to take months or years for a woman to learn to orgasm at all, let alone from vaginal sex. Second, women often find it easier to orgasm from direct stimulation of the glans clitoris, which is the part of the clitoris that one can see from the outside. The glans clitoris is usually about a quarter or half of an inch long and is often quite sensitive to the touch. Because itrsquo;s such a sensitive body part, not all women like to be touched directly on the clitoris ndash; or if they do, they may prefer certain types of touch over others. Don't Pressure Her As such, if you and your girlfriend talk about your ideas about sexual intimacy and decide that you want to try clitoral stimulation, keep a few things in mind. Try not to pressure her to have an orgasm, as it can take time for women to develop an orgasmic response to sexual stimulation. Try instead to think of your sexual exploration as a chance to find out what feels pleasurable and enjoyable for each of you. You might also try different types of touch ndash; gentle but first pressure on each otherrsquo;s bodies, light touches, quick touches, slow strokes, or other types of touch that you discover together. Try Oral Sex Oral sex is another possible way of stimulating womenrsquo;s or menrsquo;s genitals. Again, there is no one way to do it so exploration is often helpful. Because it is possible to pass sexually transmissible infections, or STIs, during oral sex, yoursquo;ll want to make sure that neither one of you has an STI before deciding to have oral sex. If either of you have ever had any type of oral, vaginal or anal sex with other people, then you should get tested for STIs before getting sexually involved with each other. Remember: there is no one way that sex has to happen, and you two are free to invent your sex play in a way that fits with your values, your feelings for each other, and your ideas about how you want to relate to each other sexually. Further Reading To learn more about sexuality, check out The Guide to Getting It On. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/preejaculate-precum-pregnancy-risk/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/preejaculate-precum-pregnancy-risk/#comments Mon, 06 Apr 2009 14:00:20 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/qa-preejaculate-pregnancy/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/preejaculate-precum-pregnancy-risk/feed/ 0 2:54 Many people are curious about pre-ejaculate. After all, educational messages about pre-ejaculate tend to follow the line of thought that suggests men and women are ... Many people are curious about pre-ejaculate. After all, educational messages about pre-ejaculate tend to follow the line of thought that suggests men and women are ndash; as they say ndash; ldquo;better safe than sorry.rdquo; Pre-ejaculate is fluid that comes from a manrsquo;s Cowperrsquo;s glands, which are small glands inside a manrsquo;s body, by his penis. This fluid helps to lubricate a manrsquo;s urethra. In some men, this fluid is noticeable even when he is sexually aroused ndash; a little bit might come out of his urethra during sexual excitement. In other men, pre-ejaculate is not noticeable. Usually Not Possible Regardless, there are no sperm in the fluids made by the Cowperrsquo;s glands. As such, unless there were already sperm hanging out in the urethra that were then carried out by the Cowperrsquo;s glands fluids, it is usually not possible to get pregnant from contact with pre-ejaculate. However, that doesnrsquo;t mean that itrsquo;s safe to have sex without a condom. Though pre-ejaculate usually does not contain many, if any, sperm (depending on whether any sperm were already in the urethra from a previous ejaculate), it still counts as a sexual fluid and both menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s sexual fluids can pass sexually transmissible infections, or STIs. STI Risk By having unprotected sex with another guy, you put yourself at risk for STIs from him. As such, you might consider getting tested for STIs such as Chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis and HIV. Ask your healthcare provider about your risk for STIs and which tests would be recommended for you. If you have had oral, vaginal or anal sex with your boyfriend since having sex with the other guy, then you have also potentially put your boyfriend at risk for STIs. Talking to your boyfriend about cheating on him takes a good deal of courage, but it might be something yoursquo;ll want to consider. You might also want to examine the reasons why you cheated on your boyfriend and whether there are any lessons you can learn from the experience, including ways that you hope to grow closer to your boyfriend or whether your current relationship is one that you want to be in. Learn More To learn more about STIs, explore our STI sexual health resources pages or visit the web site of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy,,Special,,flagged,-,still,needs,some,edits aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-planning-deception/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-planning-deception/#comments Mon, 12 Jan 2009 14:00:27 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=552 http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-planning-deception/feed/ 0 2:58 While it is possible to get pregnant from taking a man's ejaculate from the condom and inserting it into your vagina, I wouldn't recommend it ... While it is possible to get pregnant from taking a man's ejaculate from the condom and inserting it into your vagina, I wouldn't recommend it - as you can imagine. You said yourself that the fact that you emptied his condom inside your vagina is something you cannot explain to yourself, even now, except to say, of course, that you want to become pregnant and he doesn't. A Betrayal Of Trust It takes two to tango for a reason, I suppose, and perhaps a major reason is that maintaining a healthy pregnancy and raising a child is often healthier for the child - and healthier for the couple - when it has been done without deception. By having sex with a condom, you and your husband have made the choice to not risk getting pregnant at the moment. And while he may have moments of wanting to have a baby with you, he also has hesitations. Taking his semen in secret is a betrayal of the trust that he gives you, and such deception could cause problems in your relationship. It can be difficult, and sensitive, for a couple to talk openly and honestly with each other about their feelings related to getting pregnant and yet communication is very important, as is honesty. Talk To Your Husband If you would like to become pregnant, please consider ways in which you could talk to your husband about this possibility rather than going about it in ways that betray his trust. He may have good reasons for not yet wanting to become pregnant together than go above and beyond money. Also, if you are serious about becoming pregnant, it would be a wise idea to talk to your gynecologist to learn whether there are any personal health issues that you might want to address now rather than once a pregnancy is already underway. He or she might also advise you on other issues related to having a healthy pregnancy, that you can start now, such as taking prenatal vitamins, avoiding cigarette smoke, diet and exercise. Learn More You can learn more about pregnancy by reading Our Bodies, Ourselves: Pregnancy and Birth. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-infection-risk-lesbian-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-infection-risk-lesbian-sex/#comments Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:00:07 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=475 http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-infection-risk-lesbian-sex/feed/ 0 3:32 Thanks for your question. In order to become pregnant from sex, a woman would have to have sex with a man, as sperm are required ... Thanks for your question. In order to become pregnant from sex, a woman would have to have sex with a man, as sperm are required for pregnancy. Women simply cannot get pregnant from sex with other women; it is not possible. When female couples wish to have a baby together, they need to use a sperm donor, as they need sperm to fertilize a woman's egg in order to begin a pregnancy. Risk Of Sexually Transmissible Infections (STIs) That said, women can pass sexually transmissible infections, or STIs, to each other through sexual practices. For example, two women can pass bacterial infections such as chlamydia and gonorrhea to each other through oral sex, sharing sex toys, or other sexual play behaviors that involve genital contact. Even yeast infections may be sexually passed among two women, as can herpes, syphilis, HIV and the human papillomavirus (or HPV). Reducing Infection Risk Women can reduce their risk of infection by taking steps toward safer sex. For example, women should not share sex toys with each other. If they both enjoy sex play that involves vibrators or dildos, they should each have their own toy. If they decide to share a toy anyway, then they should place a new, unused condom on the toy before using it and then take the condom off, throw it away, and put a new condom on the toy before the second person uses it. When it comes to oral sex, women can use a latex dental dam or a condom cut in half to serve as a barrier for cunnilingus. This can prevent the spread of infection from mouth to genitals or from genitals to mouth. Talk To Each Other Female couples, like male couples and male-female couples, are best advised to talk to each other about each other's STI testing and treatment history. Like other couples, there is much joy and pleasure to be had for female couples, however, concerns about infection risk can get in the way of being able to relax and enjoy sex. At least in regard to pregnancy risk, you can relax and rest assured that you are not able to become pregnant from sex with another woman. Sometimes concerns about pregnancy or infection reflect more general concerns that a person might have about being sexual. If you are new to sex, and you have questions about it, consider talking to a parent, trusted adult, healthcare provider or counselor about your questions, concerns, anxieties or expectations for sex. If you feel comfortable, you might try talking to your friend about her thoughts on your sexual experience together, how you both felt about it at the time and how you feel about it now, and what - if anything - it means for your friendship. Talking about sex can feel difficult at first, but it often gets easier with practice and can help to make one's sexual life and romantic relationships more enjoyable, relaxing and pleasurable. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnant-from-dry-semen/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnant-from-dry-semen/#comments Mon, 17 Nov 2008 14:00:38 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=421 http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnant-from-dry-semen/feed/ 2 2:59 Any time that a man's sperm get inside of a woman's vagina, and she is not using any effective methods of birth control, there is ... Any time that a man's sperm get inside of a woman's vagina, and she is not using any effective methods of birth control, there is a risk of pregnancy. I am not sure how adequately your boyfriend wiped the head of his penis after he ejaculated, so it is unclear whether he removed all of the semen. Plus, if there were any sperm still inside his urethra (the tube that carries urine and ejaculate out of a man's body), then the sperm could potentially have been picked up by pre-ejaculatory fluids moments later, and then gotten into your vagina when he inserted his penis. If there was any ejaculate on his penis, or about to come out of his penis, when he inserted it into you, then there is a risk of pregnancy if you were not using other methods of birth control at the time, such as the birth control pill, patch or ring. Home Pregnancy Test If you have concerns about being pregnant, you might take a home pregnancy test after enough time has passed, or you might check in with a healthcare provider for a pregnancy test and to learn more about safe and effective methods of birth control. I would also encourage you and your boyfriend to learn more about sexuality and pregnancy if you plan on being sexual together, and to learn about ways to prevent pregnancy. You can find information about contraception and sexual health on our contraception resource pages or on Planned Parenthood's web site. You can also learn more about sexuality through the book The Guide to Getting It On. Not Recommended In short, however, I would not recommend this practice for the future. If you do not want to get pregnant, then you and your boyfriend might consider using condoms for penetrative sex play like you recently engaged in. If you are not comfortable with any degree of pregnancy risk, then perhaps you two just re-evaluate your decision to have penetrative sex, or any type of sexual contact that might put you at risk for pregnancy or infection. Given that you both have now been in contact with each other's sexual fluids now, too, you should both consider getting tested for sexually transmissible infections, or STIs, which can be passed between two people even with just brief contact, as you two had. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/dry-sex-pregnancy-risk/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/dry-sex-pregnancy-risk/#comments Mon, 20 Oct 2008 14:00:37 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://wfiutest.rtv.indiana.edu/?p=393 http://kinseyconfidential.org/dry-sex-pregnancy-risk/feed/ 0 3:09 Although sperm are very good swimmers, they're not supernaturally good - I have yet to hear of a case where sperm have swam through both ... Although sperm are very good swimmers, they're not supernaturally good - I have yet to hear of a case where sperm have swam through both boxers and underwear and resulted in a pregnancy. Defining "Dry Sex" I imagine one reason why you might be reading conflicting information on the internet is because it's impossible to know what exactly people are doing when they say that they are having dry sex, or any other type of sex for that matter. And what people do can change from time to time - even with you and your girlfriend, sometimes your dry sex has meant that you both have clothes on and other times it has meant that she has underwear on but you are completely naked. The more clothes that come off, the more the potential for pregnancy exists if men's and women's genitals come together, and the guy ejaculates. So in the absence of knowing what exactly people are doing, you can imagine why sex educators, nurses and doctors are a little cautious about describing pregnancy or infection risks for dry sex. Consider Birth Control That said, I think you are very wise to consider more reliable methods of birth control, particularly since it sounds like you two sometimes take things a little further than planned, like when you've wound up naked. And you're absolutely correct that if your semen were to get near her vaginal entrance, then there could be a risk for pregnancy, even if you didn't have vaginal intercourse. Using a condom is certainly one strategy - it would provide a barrier between your semen and her vagina. It is possible that a condom might tear, particularly since dry sex involves more friction than intercourse, and you should check the condom here and there to make sure that it is still intact. Applying a bit of water-based lubricant on the condom, once it is already on your penis, can reduce the risk of the condom breaking or tearing. There are also a range of hormonal contraceptives that your girlfriend might consider such as the birth control pill, patch, ring or shot. The best form of contraception is one that you two can use consistently and correctly, so issues about convenience, access, ease of use and cost are important to consider. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-risk-using-condoms-not-ejaculating/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-risk-using-condoms-not-ejaculating/#comments Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:00:52 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/09/22/qa-is-it-possible-to-get-pregnant-even-when-using-contraception-and-if-my-partner-doesnt-ejaculate/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-risk-using-condoms-not-ejaculating/feed/ 0 3:09 If you didn't get any sperm inside your girlfriendrsquo;s vagina, or any pre-ejaculate (also called "pre-cum" - the thin liquid that comes out of some ... If you didn't get any sperm inside your girlfriendrsquo;s vagina, or any pre-ejaculate (also called "pre-cum" - the thin liquid that comes out of some men's penises while they are feeling aroused), then she could not become pregnant from you. Take A Pregnancy Test It is more likely that your girlfriend is still just feeling anxious or worried about becoming pregnant when she is not ready to become pregnant. If she is concerned that she might be pregnant, she should get an at-home pregnancy test when an adequate amount of time has passed (check each box to see how soon a particular test can be used) or check in with her healthcare provider for a pregnancy test. Talk To Your Partner If you or your girlfriend are anxious about sex for these or other reasons, it may be that you are not ready to be having sex right now, as the anxiety may make sex feel more stressful than pleasurable. Perhaps this is a good time to talk more with each other about your decision to be sexual together and how yoursquo;re feeling about it, as well as how you would feel is you became pregnant together, or what steps you could take to feel more comfortable about your romantic and sexual relationship. Or it may be an indication that you need to do other things - like talk more about how you plan to prevent pregnancy - such as correct and consistent condom use and maybe hormonal contraception, such as the birth control pill, patch, shot or ring - so that you can both feel more at ease. In that case, talking with a healthcare provider and learning more about your options for birth control will likely be very helpful - you can learn more at Planned Parenthood's Website as they have a comprehensive birth control section. Experience Takes Time If your girlfriend has not yet had a gynecological exam, she should do so, as this is important for all women who are sexually active. If you feel comfortable talking to your parents or other older family members such as aunts or uncles, they might also serve as good resources for information and to talk about any feelings you might be having about these changes to your relationship. Becoming sexually experienced is something that doesnrsquo;t happen over night, and certainly doesnrsquo;t happen the very first time that you have sex. It takes time and it can be helpful to have trusted people to talk to, not only for information but also for support. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/when-does-pregnancy-begin/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/when-does-pregnancy-begin/#comments Fri, 22 Aug 2008 17:28:13 +0000 Samantha Seeger http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/08/22/when-does-a-girl-officially-become-pregnant/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/when-does-pregnancy-begin/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-fears/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-fears/#comments Mon, 04 Aug 2008 16:55:19 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/08/04/qa-i-think-im-pregnant-but-im-afraid-to-go-to-the-doctor/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-fears/feed/ 0 3:39 As scared as you may be, I really want to encourage you to check in with a healthcare provider to find out if you are ... As scared as you may be, I really want to encourage you to check in with a healthcare provider to find out if you are pregnant. Pregnancy tests are usually very accurate, especially when they are taken several weeks after unprotected sex. If you are feeling scared or in shock, please talk to a family member or a friend that you trust, and that is generally pretty responsible and caring of you, so that they can help you. You should also consider talking to your boyfriend about your concerns about the two of you possibly having become pregnant. If you are pregnant, you will need to learn more about your options and your health. If you choose to carry your pregnancy to term, you will want to learn about prenatal health care, which includes the healthcare visits that you will need from now until when your baby is born, to make sure that you have a healthy pregnancy. You will also have information to learn about special nutrition needs of pregnant women as well as lifestyle behaviors that are relevant to pregnancy, such as those related to smoking, drinking, exercise, sexuality, and even driving as you get further along in your pregnancy. The book ldquo;Our Bodies, Ourselves: Pregnancy and Childbirthrdquo; is a good resource for information. If it turns out that the pregnancy test was not accurate, and you are not pregnant, you might consider re-evaluating some of your choices to be sexually active if you are not yet ready to deal with the realities of pregnancy risk. That may mean postponing further sexual activity or it may mean asking your healthcare provider for more information about contraception, such as the birth control pill, condoms, or the birth control shot. You might also talk to your boyfriend about how yoursquo;re feeling about sexual activity and pregnancy risk. Emergency contraception is highly effective at preventing pregnancy ndash; but it isnrsquo;t a guarantee against pregnancy. It is about 89% effective when taken within 3 days after unprotected sex, but that means there are still times when it does not prevent pregnancy. Please donrsquo;t assume that just because you took emergency contraception that you cannot be pregnant. You have had unprotected sex, you have not had a period in about two months, and you have had a positive pregnancy test. Talking to someone you can trust and feel safe with, and checking in with a healthcare provider, are good next steps to consider. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/period-length-pregnancy-risk/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/period-length-pregnancy-risk/#comments Mon, 21 Jul 2008 16:53:29 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/07/21/qa-my-boyfriend-put-his-hands-down-my-pants-could-i-be-pregnant/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/period-length-pregnancy-risk/feed/ 0 3:25 We get a lot of questions from women and men who are concerned about pregnancy risk. If anything, it reminds us how important it is ... We get a lot of questions from women and men who are concerned about pregnancy risk. If anything, it reminds us how important it is to educate young women and men about pregnancy and sexuality and what does (or doesnrsquo;t) put a couple at risk of becoming pregnant. In order to become pregnant, a manrsquo;s sperm need to be able to fertilize a womanrsquo;s egg, and then the fertilized egg needs to be able to implant itself into the lining of a womanrsquo;s uterus, which is called the endometrium. If your boyfriend didnrsquo;t have any recently ejaculated semen on his hand, and if his hand didnrsquo;t go very near your vaginal entrance or inside your vaginal entrance, then I cannot imagine a scenario in which you would become pregnant. He would have had to fresh, wet semen on his hand ndash; which you probably would have noticed - and then somehow have gotten it inside or awfully close to your vaginal opening. If you are worried about sperm somehow being ldquo;leftoverrdquo; on his hand from an earlier episode of masturbation, that is also unlikely ndash; clean, dry hands donrsquo;t keep sperm alive. Letrsquo;s turn now to womenrsquo;s menstrual periods. Even if you usually have 6 or 7 day periods, that doesnrsquo;t mean that you wonrsquo;t ever have shorter or even longer periods. Menstrual periods can change due to stress, weight changes, hormonal changes, health issues or for no apparent reason whatsoever. Periods are especially likely to change during adolescence. Girls who are used to having 5 day periods from age 13 to 16 may find that when they are 17 or 18 or 20, their periods become shorter or longer, or lighter or heavier. These types of changes are actually quite common, and may continue to change even in adulthood. If you are feeling anxious about being sexual with your boyfriend, it may be a sign that you need more information about sexual health, and maybe that you need to communicate more with him about your decision to be sexual together in this way. You may also want to spend more time thinking to yourself what your values, concerns and expectations are related to sexuality, so that you can have experiences that feel more comfortable and enjoyable to you. If you want to continue being sexual with him in this way, consider ways that can make it feel more comfortable to you, such as perhaps touching each other over each otherrsquo;s clothes, rather than under them. That way you can feel more certain that you will not become pregnant. To learn more about womenrsquo;s sexual health and pregnancy risk, consider reading the book Our Bodies, Ourselves. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/alternative-ways-to-get-pregnant-without-intercourse/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/alternative-ways-to-get-pregnant-without-intercourse/#comments Thu, 17 Jul 2008 17:01:37 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/07/17/qa-alternative-ways-to-get-pregnant-without-having-intercourse/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/alternative-ways-to-get-pregnant-without-intercourse/feed/ 0 3:39 Not only is it possible to get pregnant from a man ejaculating at the vaginal entrance but this is actually a common method that many ... Not only is it possible to get pregnant from a man ejaculating at the vaginal entrance but this is actually a common method that many couples use if they cannot have penile-vaginal penetration but still want to become pregnant. When a man ejaculates at a womanrsquo;s vaginal entrance, his sperm can swim inside a womanrsquo;s vagina, up through the uterus and into the fallopian tubes where ndash; if a woman has ovulated ndash; an egg may be available to be fertilized. In order to get pregnant, yoursquo;ll want to get his semen as close to the vaginal entrance as possible, or a little bit inside the vagina if you can. Causes Of Uncomfortable Intercourse Women may be unable to have comfortable for vaginal intercourse for various reasons. One of the more common reasons has to do with a condition called vaginismus that is sometimes described as having uncontrollable muscular spasms that prevent vaginal penetration, or that make it exceedingly painful. Women with vaginismus may find that tampon use or gynecological exams may feel painful or impossible too. Fortunately, many women with vaginismus can be successfully treated through sex therapy and the use of dilators, which usually come in a set of 5 to 6, and are rod-shaped devices that come in various sizes. The smallest is usually the size of a personrsquo;s little finger. The largest is often about 5 to 6 inches in length and about the girth of an average or above-average sized penis. Women and their partners may find these online, or through a sex therapist or healthcare provider, and can use them to gradually and very gently help the vagina learn to comfortably accept penetration. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the web site of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. There are other reasons that a woman may have painful intercourse including: past injury or trauma side effects from cancer treatment vulovodynia (a term that refers to vulvar pain) genital skin disorders other gynecological problems If you havenrsquo;t already done so, it is worth checking in with a healthcare provider and/or a sex therapist for further evaluation. This is particularly important if you currently cannot even have a gynecological exam due to genital pain issues, or havenrsquo;t had one in a long time. It may be worth addressing the painful penetration issue prior to becoming pregnant, as prenatal visits and gyn exams are an important part of having a healthy pregnancy. Please consider checking in with your healthcare provider for information and advice related to your personal health and pregnancy plans. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-risk-during-period/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-risk-during-period/#comments Mon, 02 Jun 2008 14:00:01 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/2008/06/02/qa-can-i-get-pregnant-while-im-on-my-period/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-risk-during-period/feed/ 0 2:38 Generally speaking, a woman is unlikely to become pregnant while she is having her period. However, that does not mean that it is impossible to ... Generally speaking, a woman is unlikely to become pregnant while she is having her period. However, that does not mean that it is impossible to become pregnant when one is having menstrual bleeding. Pregnancy Unlikely The reason that it is unlikely to become pregnant during a womanrsquo;s menstrual period is because a pregnancy cannot occur if there is not an egg and some sperm to begin with. Each month, most women release one egg ndash; also called an ovum - during a process call ovulation. An egg typically lives for about 24 hours or less. Then, approximately 14 days after ovulation, a woman typically begins her menstrual period, meaning that she likely does not have any living eggs that have been released at that time. Irregular or Short Cycles At least not in theory. Sometimes women release more than one egg per month. More often, womenrsquo;s cycles may be irregular or short. Also, sperm live longer than eggs do ndash; some estimates suggest that sperm may live as long as 3 or 5 days. Some suggest that sperm may occasionally live in a womanrsquo;s body for as long as a week. In any case, if a man ejaculates inside a womanrsquo;s vagina while she is on her period, and then she ovulates days later, or even a week later, it is possible that by the time she ovulates, sperm may still be alive in her body and able to fertilize her egg. Likely? No. Possible? Yes. Again, is it likely that a woman will become pregnant while she is menstruating? No. But is it possible? Absolutely. Our Kinsey Confidential web site provides more information about reliable forms of birth control to assist you in decisions related to family planning and safer sex. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/menopause-having-unprotected-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/menopause-having-unprotected-sex/#comments Mon, 05 May 2008 15:30:52 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2008/05/05/qa-menopause-and-unprotected-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/menopause-having-unprotected-sex/feed/ 0 3:15 Thanks for your question. Though Kinsey Confidential started out as a service for college students, we do often get questions from women and men who ... Thanks for your question. Though Kinsey Confidential started out as a service for college students, we do often get questions from women and men who are out of the typical college age range. And we welcome them! (submit yours here) Menopause Menopause is a gradual process for women, and as such many women and their partners wonder when a woman can no longer be expected to have periods and is thus no longer able to become pregnant. Generally speaking, a woman is considered to have reached menopause when she has gone for a full year without having any periods at all. Women may go for years having periods only now or then, but that is a time that we call perimenopause ndash; or the time that is around and leading up to menopause. Even if a woman goes for a full year without having a period, she should check in with her healthcare provider who can perform tests to look at her hormone levels. All that said, this only addresses the issue of when a woman is likely done with periods, and thus not likely to become pregnant. That is not necessarily the same as when it is safe to have unprotected sex again. Having Unprotected Sex The decision to have unprotected sex ndash; by which I assume you mean, to stop using condoms or other forms of birth control ndash; depends on each of your comfort level, as well as whether you or she have other health considerations. For example, some women use hormonal contraception for reasons other than preventing pregnancy. And if either of you have other sexual partners, then that is an important consideration too. Talk To Your Wife As such, how will you know when itrsquo;s safe to have unprotected sex again? By talking with your wife about not only her periods, but about your and her feelings related to your experience of sexuality, and your individual concerns and expectations for sex. For some women, menopause brings a range of symptoms that may be best addressed with onersquo;s healthcare provider. Sexual desire may decline with menopause for some women, whereas others find that their desire increases as they no longer worry about becoming pregnant when they donrsquo;t want to become pregnant. Learn More To learn more about sex and aging, you might find the book Better Than I Ever Expected by Joan Price to be of interest. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-twenty-seconds-pregnancy/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-twenty-seconds-pregnancy/#comments Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:00:21 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2008/04/21/qa-sex-for-only-twenty-seconds/ Subscribe to the Podcast]]> http://kinseyconfidential.org/sex-twenty-seconds-pregnancy/feed/ 0 3:27 Here at Kinsey Confidential, we get quite a lot of questions about pregnancy. And no wonder ndash; though most women and men want to be ... Here at Kinsey Confidential, we get quite a lot of questions about pregnancy. And no wonder ndash; though most women and men want to be parents at some point in their lives, most of them also want to be able to plan to become pregnant when they are ready to, and to plan not to become pregnant when they donrsquo;t want to become pregnant. Time Doesn't Matter As for your question about having sex with your girlfriend without using a condom, it doesnrsquo;t matter how short or how long the sex lasted. If your penis was inside your girlfriendrsquo;s vagina without a condom, then there is the risk of pregnancy. That said, if you did not ejaculate, and the only fluid from your penis that got inside her vagina was pre-ejaculate (the thin fluid that some men notice coming from their penis when they are sexually aroused) then the risk of pregnancy would be very low. However, is this a risk that you or your girlfriend wants to take? Pregnancy Risk On the other hand, if you ejaculated inside your girlfriend ndash; even just a little bit ndash; that certainly increases the risk of pregnancy. In order for a pregnancy to occur, there needs to be an egg and some sperm, and then the sperm need to fertilize the egg, and then the fertilized egg needs to implant itself ndash; and stay implanted in ndash; the womanrsquo;s uterus. If your girlfriend was not ovulating at the time, then there would be no egg. But most couples rarely track a womanrsquo;s ovulation, and also ovulation timing can vary considerably, especially among young women. Talk About Your Relationship If you and your girlfriend do not want to become pregnant, we would highly recommend that the two of you talk about your sexual relationship. How do you both feel about being sexually active together? Is this something that you both want and feel comfortable with? What expectations do you have for being sexual together, in terms of being exclusive, or seeing other people, or whether you see this is a serious, ongoing relationship or something that feels right only for right now, as with many friends with benefits relationships? STIs and Birth Control It is also crucial that you two discuss your feelings around sexually transmissible infections ndash; which we call STIs - and birth control. You two have already had intercourse, even if just briefly. Have you talked about your histories of being tested or treated for any STIs? How would you feel about going together to get tested? What about your feelings about birth control and how, if you continue to be sexually active together, you might take responsibility for preventing pregnancy? These are conversations that we would encourage for you to have together, and possibly with a healthcare provider, so that you can make informed, healthy decisions that help you both to feel good about your relationship. Content,Type,,Podcast,,Pregnancy aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-without-penetration/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-without-penetration/#comments Wed, 17 Oct 2007 21:49:17 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/blog/2007/10/17/qa-risk-of-pregnancy-from-dry-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pregnancy-without-penetration/feed/ 0