http://kinseyconfidential.org Just another WordPress weblog Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:00:33 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 2006-2007 aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) aschweig@indiana.edu (Kinsey Confidential) posts 1440 Just another WordPress weblog Kinsey Confidential Kinsey Confidential aschweig@indiana.edu No no http://kinseyconfidential.org/wp-content/themes/kinsey/images/kinsey-podcast-300.jpg http://kinseyconfidential.org 144 144 http://kinseyconfidential.org/experienced-orgasm-suggest/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/experienced-orgasm-suggest/#comments Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:00:33 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1582 http://kinseyconfidential.org/experienced-orgasm-suggest/feed/ 0 3:38 A Common Problem Many women struggle with trying to learn to have an orgasm. Often, even very well educated women who feel comfortable with their own ... A Common Problem Many women struggle with trying to learn to have an orgasm. Often, even very well educated women who feel comfortable with their own bodies, open to their experience, and positive about sex still find it difficult to orgasm. Yoursquo;re certainly not alone in your experience. With time, patience and practice, most women are able to learn to orgasm so the chances that you will, too, are certainly in your favor. There are many different reasons why women take time to learn to orgasm. As much as you may have already learned about anatomy, you might find that there is more to learn that would be helpful. Know Your Anatomy Many medical texts, including their anatomical illustrations, do not accurately depict the clitoris. In fact, many donrsquo;t even show that the clitoris is larger than the frac14; to frac12; an inch of tissue that can be seen from the outside of a womanrsquo;s body. The clitoris extends backward into the body in two branches that may be stimulated from vaginal sex or other types of stimulation. This knowledge alone may give you different ideas for how to approach your body with stimulation. Also, newer research suggests that the clitoris, vagina and urethra are more interconnected than previously thought. The movement or stimulation of one may change the way that other parts of a womanrsquo;s genital or urinary tract feel. In addition, scientists are uncovering new information about different nerve pathways that may be linked to female orgasm and learning about these, such as from the book The Science of Orgasm, may be informative. Playing the Brain Game As helpful as information and education can be, so is the psychological process. You may find that spending time becoming highly aroused ndash; such as through touch or fantasy - helps you to experience greater pleasure during sex and may eventually help you learn to orgasm. Some women are easily distracted during sex - thinking about work, school, laundry, dinner, relationship issues or family ndash; and these distractions can make it difficult to relax, to let go and to focus on onersquo;s own arousal. Other times women donrsquo;t feel the type of intimacy or psychological excitement in their relationship that they find best helps them to experience pleasure or orgasm. Then there are situations in which women put so much pressure on themselves to orgasm that the pressure, stress and anxiety make it more difficult to orgasm. More Information If you are interested in learning more about orgasm, you may find it helpful to read Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women or Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbate-facedown-sexual-problems/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbate-facedown-sexual-problems/#comments Thu, 04 Feb 2010 14:00:26 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1358 http://kinseyconfidential.org/masturbate-facedown-sexual-problems/feed/ 1 3:15 Research in Masturbation The term traumatic masturbatory syndrome was first used in a 1998 article by a clinician who described four of his patients who masturbated ... Research in Masturbation The term traumatic masturbatory syndrome was first used in a 1998 article by a clinician who described four of his patients who masturbated face-down and who experienced sexual problems. However, the term has never been widely accepted by the sex research or therapy community. After all, just because four men who masturbated with this technique also had sexual problems does not mean that the masturbation technique caused the other sexual problems or that itrsquo;s an actual syndrome, let alone a traumatic syndrome. Although a face-down style of masturbation that involves rubbing against the bed appears to be less common than a style that involves a man laying on his back or sitting up, that doesnrsquo;t mean that face-down masturbation will cause sexual problems. However, sometimes men who rely on one and only way of masturbating find it difficult to orgasm from other types of masturbation or sexual stimulation such as oral sex or intercourse. New Techniques In my experiencing working with men, they can often ldquo;re-trainrdquo; their bodies to respond to a wider range of sexual stimulation by varying their masturbation technique. You might try, for example, masturbating with lots of lubricant sometimes, a small amount of lubricant other times and no lubricant at all on other occasions. You might try different paces or rhythms or using different hand techniques. Try to focus on experiencing pleasure rather than the goal of orgasm which can put pressure on your experience and make it even more difficult to come. You might even try masturbating less often. Sometimes, by masturbating less often you can build sexual tension in a way that makes it easier to orgasm when you do masturbate again. Resources If you continue to find it difficult to ejaculate, I would encourage you to speak with your healthcare provider about your experience. In some cases, medical conditions such as diabetes can contribute to menrsquo;s difficulty with ejaculation or orgasm. Sex therapy can be helpful as well in cases where the difficulty ejaculating makes men feel worried, anxious or concerned about dating or being sexual with another person. You can find a sex therapist in your area on Society for Sex Therapy and Research's website. Finally, reading The New Male Sexuality may be helpful as you explore a wider range of sexual pleasure. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-orgasms/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-orgasms/#comments Mon, 01 Feb 2010 14:00:30 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1360 http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-orgasms/feed/ 1 http://kinseyconfidential.org/boyfriends-penis-soft-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/boyfriends-penis-soft-sex/#comments Mon, 25 Jan 2010 14:00:00 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1361 http://kinseyconfidential.org/boyfriends-penis-soft-sex/feed/ 1 http://kinseyconfidential.org/bad-long-masturbating/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/bad-long-masturbating/#comments Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:00:06 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1319 http://kinseyconfidential.org/bad-long-masturbating/feed/ 0 2:47 Different Experiences Men, like women, vary in terms of how they experience sexual arousal and orgasm. It is not unusual for men to describe feeling more ... Different Experiences Men, like women, vary in terms of how they experience sexual arousal and orgasm. It is not unusual for men to describe feeling more or less aroused, or more or less easily orgasmic, in response to different sexual behaviors or experiences. For example, some men find it easier to orgasm from intercourse than oral sex. Others find that itrsquo;s easier for them to orgasm, or quicker for them to orgasm, from masturbation than from vaginal or anal sex. So, it varies. Trying New Things Watching porn can be highly arousing to some men. If it helps you to feel very excited or aroused and you enjoy its role in your masturbation, that is not necessarily a bad thing. However, if you would like to try to enhance your arousal during masturbation in other ways, there are plenty of options. For example, you might try texting with a partner, trying different hand positions, using lubricant or no lubricant, fantasizing or trying sex toys such as the Fleshlight or a masturbation sleeve. What's the Reason Irsquo;d also like to ask you to consider whether you are lasting as long as 30 or 40 minutes without porn because you want to or because you canrsquo;t come sooner even if you try. If yoursquo;re taking your time and lasting longer to enjoy the sensations, then more power to you! If you find that you are unable to come sooner as much as you try, then expanding your masturbation routine, as described earlier, might help your body adapt to different types of stimulation. Even if you cannot come sooner, try to not let that trouble you. Masturbation is not the same as partnered sex and you may find that during sex with a partner, your experience of ejaculation and orgasm are quite different. More Information To learn more about ejaculation and learning to control the timing of your orgasm, check out The New Male Sexuality. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/gspot-magic-myth-researchers-myth/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/gspot-magic-myth-researchers-myth/#comments Tue, 12 Jan 2010 11:00:01 +0000 Eric Anthony Grollman (M.A.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/gspot-magic-myth-researchers-myth/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/gspot-magic-myth-researchers-myth/feed/ 6 http://kinseyconfidential.org/pornography-looks-good-feels-good/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/pornography-looks-good-feels-good/#comments Thu, 17 Dec 2009 19:09:11 +0000 J. Bradley Blankenship (M.S.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1342 http://kinseyconfidential.org/pornography-looks-good-feels-good/feed/ 1 http://kinseyconfidential.org/depression-contribute-erectile-problems/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/depression-contribute-erectile-problems/#comments Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:00:32 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1295 http://kinseyconfidential.org/depression-contribute-erectile-problems/feed/ 0 3:10 Yes, the mind-body connection is absolutely important when it comes to menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s experience of sexuality. Thatrsquo;s not to say that physical problems in ... Yes, the mind-body connection is absolutely important when it comes to menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s experience of sexuality. Thatrsquo;s not to say that physical problems in and of themselves donrsquo;t get in the way of sex or cause sexual problems. It is certainly possible that your blood pressure problems are contributing to your erectile problems. Depression Can Affect Desire However, the mind is important too. Time and again, researchers have found that even mild depression can interfere with menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s sexual experiences. Depression can contribute to problems with desire, erections and ease of orgasm. When people feel depressed, they may more easily allow distracting thoughts to get in the way of their arousal, which can contribute to erectile problems. If you find yourself saying negative things to yourself about your body, your sexuality, your fantasies or yourself more generally, these may be important to pay attention to. HIV/AIDS Transmission You also made a point to mention that your concern or anxiety about HIV/AIDS has gotten in the way of your being able to pursue a sexual relationship with another person. If you want to be intimate with another person, then it may be important for you to find a way to overcome this anxiety ndash; to realize that through careful decision making one can greatly reduce their risk of HIV or sexually transmissible infections (STI). For example, you and a partner could use condoms for oral, vaginal or anal sex. You and a partner could also agree to get tested together for HIV and other STIs prior to being sexual together.nbsp;In addition, you could be careful to only engage in low risk sexual activities together until you feel more comfortable and confident with each otherrsquo;s HIV status and testing. In short, you may be able to find ways of managing your anxiety around HIV transmission so that you can pursue a satisfying, healthy relationship with another adult. Yes, there is risk involved in sex ndash; but it is also risky to remain isolated and alone if what you want is to connect with another human being. More Information You may find it helpful to meet with a therapist who can help you to manage issues related to depression or anxiety as well as your sexual concerns. You can find a trained sex therapist through the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists at www.aasect.org. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/feel-restricted-sex-life-girlfriend/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/feel-restricted-sex-life-girlfriend/#comments Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:00:56 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1294 http://kinseyconfidential.org/feel-restricted-sex-life-girlfriend/feed/ 2 3:12 Irsquo;m sorry to hear that your sex life isnrsquo;t as enjoyable or as exciting as you wish it were and that you feel limited in ... Irsquo;m sorry to hear that your sex life isnrsquo;t as enjoyable or as exciting as you wish it were and that you feel limited in the ways that you can express your affection to or attraction for you girlfriend. It can be difficult not to take those types of limits to heart or to feel frustrated by these restrictions. It sounds as though your girlfriend, too, experiences both emotional and possibly physical difficulties in regard to her sexuality. I canrsquo;t help but wonder, for example, what she means by oral sex bringing back bad memories for her. Everyone is entitled to keep secrets that make sense for them and it is certainly not the case that she should have to share information with you if she is not yet ready or able to. History of Sexual Abuse However, if she has a past history of having been abused as a child or if she had uncomfortable, painful or nonconsensual experiences of sex as a teenager or adult, it is very possible that this past continues to have an impact on her. She may or may not be ready to deal with these issues either on her own or with a therapist, but at some point she may find that in order to have a more comfortable, pleasurable or satisfying sexual experience, that she may need to. Vulvodynia In terms of vaginal touching, does she not want you to touch her vaginal because of these same bad memories? Or does it hurt for her vagina or vulva to be touched for other reasons? Some women ndash; perhaps as many as 10 to 15% of women ndash; experience genital pain that can result from daily activities such as bike riding or sitting at a desk, as well as from sexual activities. To learn more about vulvodynia (which means vulvar pain), you or your girlfriend can visit the web site of the National Vulvodynia Association, which is www.nva.org. More Information If your girlfriend has a history of having been sexually abused or assaulted, she may find it helpful to read The Courage to Heal or to meet with a therapist. She can find one through the American Psychological Associationrsquo;s web site which is www.apa.org. In the mean time, you two may also be able to find comfortable ways of connecting in intimate ways that take you away from the unsuccessful things that yoursquo;ve tried together and more into new ways of exploring. Consider getting together and reading For Each Other: Sharing Sexual Intimacy for creative ideas about exploring together. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-easily-achieve-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-easily-achieve-orgasm/#comments Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:00:06 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1278 http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-easily-achieve-orgasm/feed/ 2 http://kinseyconfidential.org/safe-put-small-items-anus/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/safe-put-small-items-anus/#comments Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:00:07 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1258 http://kinseyconfidential.org/safe-put-small-items-anus/feed/ 4 2:31 Generally speaking, it is not a good idea to put small round items ndash; such as ben wa balls or golf balls ndash; directly into ... Generally speaking, it is not a good idea to put small round items ndash; such as ben wa balls or golf balls ndash; directly into the anus. Unlike the vagina, which is only a few inches long and ends at the cervix, which has a very tiny opening, the anus leads into the rectum, where objects can get more easily lost. Losing Objects in the Rectum The rectum is S-shaped so itrsquo;s not just the size, but the shape of this part of the body, that makes it challenging to get objects out once they have gone inside the body. People commonly get even larger items lost inside their rectum ndash; items such as bottles, light bulbs and even salad tongs have been lost or lodged inside peoplersquo;s rectums and have required visits to the emergency room in order to have them removed by a doctor. Removing objects from a personrsquo;s rectum requires great care as the objects can cause harm to a personrsquo;s rectum if they are left inside too long, if they have sharp edges or if they are removed in difficult ways. Toys For Anal Play If you are interested in using objects for anal stimulation, consider using toys that are meant specifically for anal play. There are a variety of anal toys on the market such as butt plugs and anal beads. Because you are interested in round objects, you may find anal beads to be of particular interest. They come in a variety of sizes. Beads that come on cotton strings are best thought of as single use items as it is impossible to clean the string in between uses. Other styles of anal beads are made of silicone or other materials and are easier to keep clean. More Information To learn more about sex toys and safer, more comfortable anal pleasuring check out The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex or Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/normal-masturbate-times-day/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/normal-masturbate-times-day/#comments Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:00:42 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1257 http://kinseyconfidential.org/normal-masturbate-times-day/feed/ 1 2:21 There is no one frequency of sex or masturbation thatrsquo;s considered normal and masturbating two to three times a day is certainly within the typical ... There is no one frequency of sex or masturbation thatrsquo;s considered normal and masturbating two to three times a day is certainly within the typical range of frequencies that are reported by young men who are about your age. Many Reasons to Masturbate People tend to masturbate more often when they are feeling highly aroused or sexually excited, whether or not they have a partner or are in a relationship. In your case, you are in a relationship with a woman but shersquo;s not physically near you. Perhaps you talk to her on the phone, text each other or just think about her and feel sexually aroused. And then maybe at times you decide to masturbate to release any sexual tension you may have, because it feels pleasurable, because you enjoy fantasizing about your girlfriend, or to help yourself fall asleep. There are many different reasons why men and women masturbate. Some couples even masturbate together. In long distance relationships, some couples enjoy participating in phone sex in which they talk about their sexual fantasies or what they wish they could do together. Other times, couples tell each other about how they may have masturbated earlier in the day or the previous night thinking about their partner. There's Nothing Harmful About Masturbation Fortunately, masturbation is not bad for a personrsquo;s health. Masturbation can help people to feel calm or relaxed and it can also just be a lot of fun, whether itrsquo;s done alone or with a partner. Additional Resources To learn more about masturbation, check out The Big Book of Masturbation. To learn more about solo masturbation, partnered masturbation or different types of sex play with a partner, check out The Guide to Getting It On. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/overdue-list-fun-interesting-sexuality-links/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/overdue-list-fun-interesting-sexuality-links/#comments Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:42:00 +0000 Natalie Ingraham (M.P.H.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/overdue-list-fun-interesting-sexuality-links/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/overdue-list-fun-interesting-sexuality-links/feed/ 0 http://kinseyconfidential.org/regain-erection-quicker-orgasm/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/regain-erection-quicker-orgasm/#comments Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:00:40 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1253 http://kinseyconfidential.org/regain-erection-quicker-orgasm/feed/ 0 3:24 Men Vs. Women Although menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s bodies are similar in many ways (both sexes have two eyes, two ears, a nose, two legs, etc) there ... Men Vs. Women Although menrsquo;s and womenrsquo;s bodies are similar in many ways (both sexes have two eyes, two ears, a nose, two legs, etc) there are also some key differences. For example, not only do males and females vary in terms of their genitals ndash; the whole ldquo;boys have a penis and girls have a vaginardquo; ndash; but our genitals and sexual response work in different ways too. Refractory Period Unlike women (who are capable of multiple orgasms), men have whatrsquo;s called a refractory period which is the time between one ejaculation and their ability to ejaculate again. Young men, particularly those in their teens and twenties, can often have more than one ejaculation in a short period of time. Sometimes after sex that ends in ejaculation, a guy can keep having sex with only a slight decrease in the firmness of his erection. Mostly, though, it takes time for a man to get a second erection after he has already ejaculated (whether that ejaculation was from masturbation, oral sex, mutual masturbation, vaginal sex or anal sex). Sometimes it may only take a few moments but often it takes at least 15 or 30 minutes for men ndash; even young, college-aged men like yourself ndash; to get a second erection after they ejaculate. Welcome to your refractory period! As men age, their refractory period typically lengthens meaning that it often takes longer for men to get a second erection after they ejaculate. Some men may need to wait hours before they can ejaculate again or get a second erection. Other men may need to wait a day or longer. Can It Be Changed? There is no way to change onersquo;s refractory period and no special technique to being able to have multiple ejaculations in a short period of time. Some men pay attention to how their particular bodies work and may notice that itrsquo;s easier for them to become erect again if they are working out, eating well, getting sufficient sleep, abstaining from cigarettes or alcohol (both of which may impair menrsquo;s erectile function), or if they are feeling extremely mentally or physically aroused. Other times, men find it difficult to pinpoint any specific pattern to the way their erections work. Other Ways To Enjoy Each Other The good news is that pleasurable, enjoyable sex doesnrsquo;t always require an erection. Pleasurable sex isnrsquo;t always about intercourse or what some may think of as ldquo;normalrdquo; or ldquo;standardrdquo; sex. If you want to keep exploring each otherrsquo;s bodies, then whether or not you have a second erection, you and your partner can continue to kiss, to stimulate each othersrsquo; genitals with your hands, to massage each otherrsquo;s bodies all over, to play with sex toys or to lay in bed and talk and laugh. More Information You can learn more about menrsquo;s sexuality, including erections, ejaculation and enhancing sex play with a partner, in The New Male Sexuality. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/break-before-second-round-sex/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/break-before-second-round-sex/#comments Thu, 22 Oct 2009 13:00:32 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1242 http://kinseyconfidential.org/break-before-second-round-sex/feed/ 0 2:31 As long as two people are feeling comfortable and ready to have a second round of sex, there is no need for them to wait ... As long as two people are feeling comfortable and ready to have a second round of sex, there is no need for them to wait any certain length of time before they have sex again. If your partnerrsquo;s body feels tender, sore or irritated then you may want to delay having sex until another day when she or he is feeling more comfortable, ready and interested in having sex again. That said, if your partner wants to jump back into a second round of sex only moments after the first time that you two had sex, thatrsquo;s okay too. Erections Can Stay Firm When men are younger, such as in their teens and twenties, they are often able to get an erection that is firm enough for intercourse even minutes after they have sex. On occasion, they may not even become soft again after they first ejaculate ndash; they may maintain some level of hardness for several minutes or longer and continue having sex. Again, if you and your partner are able to have sex a second or third time in a short period of time, and you both want to, then there is no reason that you have to wait. Tools of the Trade If you use condoms to reduce your risk of pregnancy or infection, make sure to have multiple condoms on hand in case you decide to have sex more than once. If sex lasts for a long time or you anticipate having sex more than once, you may want to keep a bottle of lubricant on hand to help make sex more comfortable and pleasurable for your and your partner. Find Out More Sex can be enormously fun and it can be exciting to have sex more than once in a short period of time. Some couples feel as though they cannot get enough of each other and the chance to re-connect physically can feel very pleasurable. To learn more about sexual pleasure, choosing lubricants and sex techniques, check out Because It Feels Good: A Womanrsquo;s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. Content,Type,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast aschweig@indiana.edu no No http://kinseyconfidential.org/how-long-should-sex-last/ http://kinseyconfidential.org/how-long-should-sex-last/#comments Thu, 15 Oct 2009 13:00:59 +0000 Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) http://kinseyconfidential.org/?p=1237 http://kinseyconfidential.org/how-long-should-sex-last/feed/ 1 3:12 Many men feel pressure in regard to their sexual performance with a partner. As a result, one of the more common questions that we get ... Many men feel pressure in regard to their sexual performance with a partner. As a result, one of the more common questions that we get about sex has to do with learning to last longer during sex. Masturbating to Pornography Yoursquo;re not alone in feeling as though your quick ejaculation during masturbation while watching porn may be influenced by years of feeling as though you had to hurry up so that you didnrsquo;t get caught. Quite a lot of men attribute their quick ejaculation to feeling as though they needed to come quickly before someone found them masturbating or watching porn. How Long Sex Lasts The fact that you can last as long as 5 or 10 minutes during masturbation without porn is encouraging. In spite of common myths about sex, itrsquo;s common or sex to last for less than 15 minutes. Some couples spend 1 or 2 minutes in intercourse, others spend closer to 5 minutes, and some last for 10 minutes, 20 minutes or longer. With experience and practice, men often find that they can increase their control over the timing of their ejaculation. Exercises to Try At home, you can practice the stop-start and squeeze techniques during masturbation. This is how they work: begin by stimulating yourself as usual. Then, just before you get to the point of no return ndash; when you will ejaculate no matter what ndash; either stop all stimulation to your penis by removing your hand (for the stop-start technique) or gently squeeze the head of your penis (for the squeeze technique). Then, as your arousal starts to subside a little, begin stimulating your penis again and then repeat the cycle. As you try these exercises, pay attention to the sensations in your penis, scrotum or in other parts of your body. What types of feelings do you notice as you get closer to feeling as though you are going to ejaculate? Some men notice a twitch in their leg muscles or a feeling in the area of their scrotum. Others notice their penis getting exceptionally hard as their excitement builds. With practice, you can learn to notice these sensations and then back off a little during masturbation or sex by staying still, stopping all stimulation ndash; or when having sex with a partner ndash; by removing your penis and taking a few seconds off before re-inserting it or trying a new sex positions. Learn More You can learn more about ejaculation and menrsquo;s sexuality in The New Male Sexuality which highlights several additional tips and techniques for lasting longer during sex. You can learn more about this book and others on our Kinsey Confidential web site. Content,Type,,Homepage,Featured,,Pleasure,,Orgasm,,Podcast,,Special aschweig@indiana.edu no No