Q&A: Why Would Someone Call Out Another Person’s Name During Sex?

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QUESTION: Why would someone call out another person’s name during sex? Does it mean they are attracted to that person?

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hello my name is joe sixpack

Photo: Mykl Roventine (flickr)

Some people accidentally call out the name of their most recent ex, probably just because they are so used to saying that person’s name that it was on the tip of their tongue.

Different Folks…

It would make love and sex easier if people’s behavior was predictable, or if we knew what people’s behavior meant.

However, it doesn’t always mean the same thing so it is impossible to say exactly what calling out someone else’s name during sex means for that person.

As a sex educator and columnist, thousands and thousands of people have talked to me about their sex lives. And I have heard from many people who have accidentally called out someone’s name during sex.

Possible Scenarios

In some cases, it was a total accident and the person had no idea why they said the wrong name. They claimed that they weren’t thinking of this other person and the name just slipped out.

I have heard from other people who have accidentally called out the name of their most recent ex, probably just because they were so used to saying that person’s name that it was on the tip of their tongue. In fact, sometimes people have been horrified that they said their ex’s name, especially if they didn’t particularly like their former partner anymore.

A third situation is that people commonly fantasize about other people, even sometimes during sex. It doesn’t mean that they want to be with the other person in real life, but sometimes people think of other situations that are highly arousing and help them to orgasm. If those fantasies involve the other person, I can see how they might say the wrong name.

Love The One You’re With?

Finally, yes, there are times when a person is in love with or interested in someone else but can’t be with that person, and they still think of them – even during sex.

I know of quite a few situations in which people had feelings for someone other than their partner and then accidentally said that person’s name during sex.

Moving On

As you can see, people and situations vary. As such, I cannot tell you what calling out someone else’s name always means. However, if you have been in this situation, then you and your partner might find it helpful to talk about it so that you can move on in your relationship and come to peace with whatever might have happened.

Next Question: Average Penis Size – Is My Penis Large Enough?

“My girlfriend had a boyfriend that had a penis that was a lot larger than mine. They dated for two years. My penis is six inches long and when we have sex I don’t know if I am pleasing her. Do I have the size to get the job done?”

Read Dr. Debby Herbenick’s response.

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Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.)

is a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, Associate Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and author of several books including Sex Made Easy and Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.
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